after alice; book three {5sos}

two

2006

"i don't know where they are, julia." sighs the brother's mother, laura. "i don't fucking know."

she desperately takes a drag of her cigarette and leans back in her chair. "it's been one day. i know that they're old enough to fend for themselves but i can't help but worry. the police think they're playing hooky but i know they're not... i- i just know it."

"they are both smart, right?" julia slowly says, her finger tracing the pattern on the crocheted table cloth. laura gives an unenthusiastic shrug. "they are. they will make it home soon. they are probably with their friends or-"

"don't say probably. they were smart, but they were also different. both of them don't have friends, they only have each other. and... and that's why i worry."

julia, laura's closest friend, sits with uneasiness and dismisses her friend's use of past tense. "different?"

"yes, they have always been different. that's why their father left, i know it." her voice quivers and she takes another drag of her cigarette to hide her emotion. she abruptly leans forward and carelessly waves her cigarette about. her eyebrows draw together in discontempt. "their father left because of their weird obsessions," she scrunches her nose up. "i- i never understood them both. i will never understand. i just worry. i still love them, but they-"

"give me that," julia reaches out and snatches the cigarette away from her. laura doesn't even attempt to stop her. "go and run yourself a bath. they will return, i promise you."

and a promise is a foolish thing to give out when two brothers are involved.

laura, who's children are missing and who's house is thick with smoke, lifts up the mattress to find a black tape lodged beneath. she knew it would be here, along with a small collection of comics and magazines. she pulls it out, the plastic of the tape feeling so fragile and easily destructive. why were they always obsessed? she knew her child asking for a pocket watch, to be just like the rabbit, was not what other parents were being asked for. she knew something was always wrong, from their obsession of replaying the tape over and over again. as soon as it would end, they would both crouch infront of the television and rewind to the key parts again and replay them.

her fingers slowly, with a slight tremble of curiousity and confusion, travel over the swirled and engraved brass metal of the pocket watch. she picks it up and envelopes her palm around it. and with a squeeze, it feels so crushable. yet, she carefully places it back on the wood and sets foot back into the kitchen to lean out of the back door and having another smoke.

she couldn't move a single belonging in their room, just in case. just in case they never returned. she took another painfully long and easing drag of her cigarette again, cursing at herself for ever wondering if it would be easier if they never returned.

the television flickers and the local news replays the same story of the two missing brothers every fifteen minutes - pleaing for them to return as their mother sits inside with the floral curtains drawn and smoke swirling around her.

"and now we wait," julia had breathed beside laura at the kitchen table the next day. "we wait for them to come back, okay? you don't stop waiting, do you hear me?"

she knows that her friend will lose faith quickly. she knows that she would rather forget than endure the expected mourning that society wants to see and hear.

laura doesn't respond, sniffing slightly.

"the news said this is a weird case," laura speaks up again through the thick and dank air of the kitchen. "they've never seen anything like it. not in a place like this anyway. not with two brothers."

"yeah, so i've heard." laura shrugs, her eyes distant and her body disconnected.

"will you ever tell me what was wrong with louis and christopher? why were they not right?" julia tentatively asks. she begins to fumble with her pack of cigarettes too and begins to light up in the kitchen without even considering propping the door open; she knows laura won't care.

"never."

julia nods, flicks her lighter, before extinguishing the flame immedietly. she tucks the unlit cigarette back into her pack and stands up, the chair scraping against the tiles as it's pulled back.

"nevermind, i need to go." julia says, grabbing her back slung over the back of the chair.

"where to?"

julia tries to perk up, her eyebrows raised and her mouth drawn into a crooked, forced smile.

"i'm late for a very important date, my friend." she childishly smiles, shrugging on her coat before pulling open the front door.

laura freezes, feeling the weight crushing down on her shoulders. the tick, tick, ticking of the stopwatch rings in her ears, like a worm making home behind her ears. she wonders what it would feel like to drown - to wash away the ticking sound that has attached itself within her mind - but then she scolds herself, props open the front door, and has another smoke.

2015. (one year before)

"i don't agree with this," calum shrugs. "but hey, does anyone ever listen to me?"

"oh god, calum. we do listen to you," hadley coos, wrapping an arm around him. "but it will be fun. it's only a joint anyway. what's the worse that can happen?"

"i will smell of weed and my mum will throw me out," ashton sarcastically calls out from across the circle. "you know, what happens when you have parents who care."

"not me then," hadley laughs, glancing across at sophia. "soph, you in?"

sophia feels herself being drawn back in to reality again. she felt disconnected, her mind dwelling elsewhere: on luke.

he is sat next to her, chewing on his lip and trying to compose himself. his mum would be disappointed in him if he smoked a joint. she would throw him out, yet pay for his hotel for one night. and then she would tell him to come home and ignore him for one week. that's what he hopes would happen anyway.

"soph, you in?" hadley repeats, waggling the joint between her fingers like she's offering sophia a pen in maths class.

"uh, yeah." sophia blinks, perceptibly shaking her head of her occupied thoughts. she doesn't know why she has agreed, yet when hadley is around, does she ever have a choice?

hadley plucks at her fishnet tights, holding the joint with her other hand. "luke?"

luke shrugs. michael shrugs. ashton shrugs. calum shakes his head and rolls his eyes as if he doesn't belong in the hadley's garage.

"fuck sake guys," hadley rolls her eyes. "i'll do it myself then."

"come on," luke nudges sophia who perks up, staring at luke with wide eyes. "my mum is picking me up and sophia up."

sophia willingly stands up, seeming dazed, and leaves with luke as hadley protests behind them.

"she's a dick sometimes," luke informs sophia as they turn out of the drive and head towards the park with the red swing set. "why do you even bother?"

"she's my best friend." sophia shrugs.

luke pouts, nudging her slightly as they walk along the path. "is it weird that i'd say you're mine too?"

she feels her cheeks heating up and her heart rising in her throat with delight. "no," she grins. "not at all."