Tris & Christina Oneshots {DIVERGENT}

Motherhood

T R I S
The ten parenting and baby books I read for three months leading up to the adoption of Christina and I's baby girl never prepared me for the impending disaster I call parenthood heading our way. Reading those books was a complete waste of time. There wasn't a single paragraph on what to do if a colicky baby won't stop screaming or if the formula makes her belly hurt and we have to switch it out constantly. And most of all, it never mentioned how hard this was going to be.

I knew it was going to be difficult--that's just how babies are--but even with Christina and I paired and teamed together, this baby will run us both into the ground.

Luna was adopted two days after birth. She was tiny, still pink and wriggly with mottled skin, but we fell in love with her almost immediately. We signed the papers, gathered her things and her information, and brought her home.

It was fine for the first week. Christina and I took turns caring for her overnight, and we mastered the art of preparing a bottle of formula in the complete dark within days, although I did accidentally spill a good two ounces' worth on the floor in a tired daze the first night.

It didn't feel like the stereotypical new-parent nightmare. We spent most of our free time cooing over her and cuddling her, giggling about how cute she is, with her button nose and stormy eyes.

The second week came around and we found ourselves utterly exhausted. Luna refused to calm down, no matter how many times we fed her, changed her, sang to her, or rocked her in our arms. She just wouldn't stop and I felt like I was going mad from lack of sleep. It wasn't until we brought her to her doctor that we found out she had colic and the constant wailing was considered normal for her.

It has been that way since, and now Luna is two days past a month old. It's gotten increasingly worse.

When I wake this morning, I find the nursery door that's adjoined to our bedroom ajar and Christina tiredly slumped over in the rocking chair with Luna cradled in her arms. I push the door open. Christina is half asleep but her eyes crack open when she sees me. I find relief that Luna is fast asleep.

"She's finally quiet," Christina whispers. "I've been here for an hour."

"I didn't even hear her," I yawn.

"How could you not?" She asks, fixing the little hat on Luna's head. "She was screaming her head off."

I shrug my shoulders. Christina stands up and gently lays Luna in her crib. I bite my tongue, waiting for a scream, but there's nothing but silence. Luna's tiny pink hands form fists by her head and her Cupid's bow lips pucker out. M
"Let's go back to bed," I whisper. "Maybe we can get some more sleep."

I lead her back to our bedroom but don't close the nursery door in case the click wakes Luna up and Christina's hour she spent there will be for nothing. We get back into bed and lay next to each other, Christina curled against me.

"I love her, but she's hard to deal with," I say, playing with Christina's hair. She nods.

As we begin to drift off, Luna's cries startle us. Christina buries her face deep in her pillow and groans. I slip out of bed and go back to Luna's room. The upset baby is crying her lungs out, kicking and wailing. Her hat has slipped off her head. I pick her up and cradle her against my chest.

"Shh," I whisper into the soft brown hair atop her little head. I feel her diaper. "You're clean. What's wrong?"

I figure she's hungry, but then I see an empty bottle on the nightstand next to the rocking chair. Christina must have fed her earlier.
I hold her close with my hand supporting her floppy head against my shoulder. I kiss her forehead and gently bounce her up and down.

"Try the pacifier!" Christina yells over Luna's crying.

I look in the crib and on the nightstand but I can't find it. She has to have her favorite one or she will spit it out and keep crying. Tears of frustration prick at my eyes. The crying is getting to be too much. It hurts to hear her cry, but yet, it annoys me.

"Where's the damn pacifier?!" I ask, ripping the crib sheet off the mattress and rummaging through the drawers. "I can't find it! I just want her to stop!"

Christina comes rushing in, flustered and flushed. She takes Luna into her arms and coos over her. I run a hand through my greasy hair. I haven't showered in what feels like days.

"Sh, baby girl," Christina coos softly, kissing our baby's head. "I'm here. Mama's here."

Under the rocking chair, I find the pacifier. The nipple isn't touching the ground, so I pick it up and slip it into Luna's mouth. She silences and sucks gratefully. Her tired hazel eyes finally close as she finds her peace.

"Finally," I breathe, a relieved smile twitching at my lips.

Christina lays her back down after I put the sheet back on, and we turn off the light and leave the room. As we are getting back into bed, Luna begins to wail helplessly.

"I knew that was too easy," I say, getting out of bed again.

This time, instead of groaning and moaning, Christina laughs. I find Luna crying and reaching her tiny arms out. She spit her pacifier out already. I gently pick her up and hold her close to my chest.

"You wanna sleep with Mommy and Mama?" I murmur.

I take her back to Christina and I's room and lay her between her and I. We agreed not to do this in fear of suffocation, but I doubt we will be getting much sleep. Not with this little girl wriggling and cooing next to us. She'll be needing another bottle soon, anyway.

"She's gonna be spoiled," Christina giggles as we lay on either side of Luna. She takes her tiny hand and kisses it.

"Whatever makes her feel safe. And keeps her quiet," I whisper.

We kiss Luna goodnight, even though the morning sun is now rising and streaming through our curtains, and close our eyes.
"We're going to be okay," I whisper. "We will be okay."
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A/N: Not my best, but it's been awhile.