Am I Not Good Enough

Chapter 6

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Chapter 6

After a couple hours in the room, we played around and talked about the pack here and what our plans were after. We were going to see if we could stay here without having to join their pack. We’d be helping them with everything like a normal pack but we would just have our own.

I could deal with my problems. I didn’t want to make them leave a place if they liked it just because of me.  Arrow recently joined our pack. Jase is alpha Luke is beta and they made me 3rd in command.  I was thinking about our future when I walked down the stairs. right into guess who. Of course it would have to be Marcus and Dustin. He looked at me for a second, staring into my eyes before pushing me to the side and shoulder checking me and he walked up the stairs.

Well its obvious that he still hates me. The reason is why? Why were they always so mean to me when I did nothing to them?

I continued down the stairs telling myself that it didn’t matter. I didn’t need him. I didn’t want him. I knocked on the door of the alpha. “come on” he replied from inside.

He motioned for me to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk.  I had his full attention on me now. “alpha. I was wondering if when this is all over with the rouges we could make this our permanent settlement.” I said confidently.  “well would you be joining our pack then?” he said. ‘well we would want to stay in our own pack. Of course we would carry on and act like one pack but we would like to stay in our own pack. Its less complicated” I explained. “What position are you in your pack.” He said completely ignoring my question. “oh a respectably high position for being so knew. I will let my son help me with this decision since he is soon to be alpha and could you please call your alpha the for of us will figure this out together.” He said. I sighed this might be harder is Dustin is involved. ‘hey Jace I need you down here, the alpha wants you here to discuss the settlements and stuff’ I told him through the mind link.

He walked in with Dustin behind him. Jace took a seat next to me. Dustin looked in our direction with cold hard eyes before standing behind his dad. “So what is this about” Dustin said. “Well we were discussing their settlements after the rouge thing is done. They are more than welcomed to stay here and become part of the pack. But they want to stay in their own pack. They said that they will do normal pack activities and help out but they would like to stay in their own spate commanding pack.” Alpha Railington explained.

Dustin looked over in our direction and studied us for a second. ‘Well we won’t be getting what we want now that Dustin’s  involved.’ I said to Jace through the mind link. He just growled in response. I told the rest of them who my mate was. I'm pretty sure there the only ones who knows. And Jace is still a little mad. ‘Jace don’t do anything we need this’ is said hoping to calm him down.

He took my hand in comfort. While in the woods we slept side by side every night. We became close as we spent those nights together. We depend on each other and he knows where I'm coming from.  Dustin looks at our hands and his eyes harden. “I don’t know father, what do you think. It shouldn’t be much of a problem as long as they still act with us. its just two different names. And since Maya is a former member of this pack, we owe it to her as gratitude. And this way we get to keep her and new people.” He said staring at me the whole time.

I didn’t look away but I knew he wasn’t serious. Why would he care about me. I could feel it while I was gone that he was with someone else. Our mate bond was still fresh and new. Not enough time away for it to weaken so it didn’t .I felt it every time he slept with someone else. But he probably already knew that. He just didn’t care.

“yes son that is right. thank you. So Maya that is final you have our blessings to stay here. And Dustin your older brother is said to arrive back in one hour.” He said. “oh yay I missed him!” I said not managing to hold my excitement. Chris was Dustin’s older brother he was a year older than us. but Dustin got  the alpha gen. we always used to hang out, he always helped me with my fighting and was always there. But before I left he went out to a meeting with the other alpha of the country. He was the pack warrior of this pack. He never got to know anything about my mate of any of the rest of he situation. They all looked at me. alpha Railington knew that me and Chris were close, Dustin probably never noticed nor cared and Jace doesn’t know anything about him.

“Oh and you guys are welcomed to call me john. And Maya want to pick him up instead of me sending someone, you would have to leave now.” he said raising a eyebrow. “ohhh hell yea.” I said getting up and out of the chair. “Ok well your black Acura is still here, you wanna take that.” He said. I just nodded. And got up to leave. Dustin was staring at me again with the angry look. “I’ll be coming. I am after all he brother” He said. I just shrugged and walked out. ‘you want me to come?’ Jace asked through the mind link. ‘nah I can handle it plus it would probably be boring for you’ I said. He just nodded. “ok you two, the airport is a hour away I'm sure you remember” he said smiling and dismissing us

Dustin’s POV

I didn’t like the idea of her being alone with my brother. I never really payed attention but I did see them together a lot and I even if I don’t care about her, she still is my mate and needs to respect that.

We got into the car. I got in the passenger side “want me drive?” I asked her. “Nope” she said and got in the car. It annoyed me how formal she was being with me. I was her mate. “Maya” I said a little more softly this time. “What” she spat at me. all the kindness was gone from me “why are you being so difficult!” I yelled at her “why the hell are you even talking to me!” she countered back. “I'm YOUR MATE.” I said

“Well last time I checked I was rejected.” She said a little more calmly this time. But still with the venom in her voice .  “I know, that would be because I don’t want, care nor need you. But your still my mate.” I said getting angry. That’s a lie though I do care about her. But I don’t want her. I have a perfectly hot girl friend and I don’t need a little stupid plain mate.

She looked at me with hurt eyes but didn’t say anything. She just kept driving. I wasn’t going to apologize but I didn’t want to make her feel like that either. So I just kept quiet. I looked over at her. Her hands were gripping the steering wheel tight and her knuckles were turning white. I was making her angry. I'm surprised the wolf inside her isn’t begging to be let out. but I guess I was wrong. She was stronger than I thought. I knew she used to train with my brother but I thought that it was because no one was willing to train her so she took some fighting lessons from Chris. But I guess she already knew.

When I saw her that day in the woods fighting the rouges, when I saw the wound in her side, she was bleeding out and when I saw her fall unconscious I knew she did it to save that other guy. She risked her life to save him. and at that moment I felt sadness and pain. Hoping that I didn’t lose her. I didn’t have a chance with her and at that time I felt I needed her. My wolf got angry and took over.  After the  fight I took her back to the pack doctor. He said that the wound would was bad and that it would take a while to heal. She lost a lot of blood so she might be unconscious for a while.

I was so worried when that happened.  I never payed enough attention to her to know how much of an amazing fighter she was .  but no matter how good a fighter a wolf was, there was always a way to get to them, and for Maya that was through her friends.

I didn’t want to feel like that. And I won’t, I have my life ahead of me, a beautiful girlfriend, and soon to be the alpha of one of the strongest packs in America. I didn’t know I could feel that way about Maya . But I blocked it out after that. I made myself be mean to her, go back to the old ways. I don’t care if she’s my mate or not. I don’t want her. I have to keep telling myself that. But the question is how long will I believe it for?