Am I Not Good Enough

Chapter 1

I ran through the woods, the branches scratching my legs, the wind lashing in my face. But I don’t care all that I care about is Mars. Mariah Duffield. My big sister, the only family I have left now.

I hear her cries in the distance. I'm unable to go wolf due to the spray in the air. It’s the rouge problem, they’ve bin circling here for a while now the Ray pack. We’re a pretty big pack, but friendly.

I was out in the woods with Mars and we started racing she was ahead of me and taken by surprise. The stuff in the air prevented us from changing or contacting our pack, I'm trying to follow her scent right now but I can’t something is messing with me and I don’t know if I can take it. But for mars I would no doubt do anything.

I raced through the fog becoming more thick with every step and every pant I took. I finally found her. An opening with 5 men and a women. 3 of them stand guard facing me while two hold Mars. The one in the middle of the three seems to be their alpha.

I bear my teeth and let a low growl escape my mouth. No one messes with family, I may not have the numbers on my side, but ever since my mom and dad were taken I started fighting, so if it ever happened again I would be ready I would right before I give up and loose this time.

The three wolfs take a defensive position and growl. One of them comes running at me but I’m quick to dodge his attempt at a tackle. The other goes straight for my feet while the other one takes a try with a switch blade. I kick the one going for my feet in the face, while I use my wrist to block his. Then punch him in the face, but the first one got back up and stabbed me in the side before I could do anything.

I let out a small whimper  but I refuse to give up that easy. One of them lunges for my side while the other goes for my legs. I'm not sure what happened but I felt another sharp pain where the fresh wound is and I feel my body going numb and hitting the ground

I can hear mars screaming for them to stop, to let me go. But I can’t do anything anymore. I can’t move.

I see them start dragging Mars away and I make a move to stand back up but the alpha it looks like just punches me right back down. I see them drag her away. I lost again, the only person I had left, but I know this isn’t the end. They’re only leaving me here so that I can suffer in pain until my pack finds me and I tell them what happened. Then my pack will go after them. my sister will be kept alive for a short time, and they will try and make a deal, and if my pack doesn’t do it they will kill her and wither move on or start war.

I groan in pain and let my body give in to the darkness, my eyes become heavy but my nose still smells the scent of fresh blood around us. mostly from me and Mars.

I feel arms around me, lifting me off the ground and carrying me. Probably back towards the pack house. I'm not hated there but I'm not the most loved either. I only have one friend Emily Sparrow. Everyone else just acts like I'm a normal person they don’t really know or they’re mean to me. Jake Liveinston , Dustin Railington and Marcus Brown are the three that are always mean to me.  Dustin is the next alpha, Jake will be the next Beta and Marcus is just there friend.

They’re always rude and push me around. I don’t know why but they’ve never given me a chance. I'm the same age as them 17. And I have light brown hair, light brown eyes and a kind of pale complexion. I'm not ugly but I'm no super model either. I guess I just never made a effort to interact with those kind or people, I'm more quiet and to myself, not really taking part in all the normal high school party’s and dances and stuff.

I'm fine with who I am and never had a reason not to be. I was always strong willed and never really cared what anyone else thought of me.

I finally opened my eyes to see Dustin carrying me. Tomorrow was his 18th birthday, the day you feel the connection of a mate. Whoever, and you have the possibility of finding one. His mate was would feel it to even if they’re younger, there wolf would sense it and the feeling would be automatically awakened. Whatever girl his mate is must be lucky, he’s really good looking with black hair and bright green eyes, roughly 6’1 and a muscular built. Heck I could feel his abs through his shirt right now.

He looked down and noticed my eyes were open, “oh well your awake so you can just walk then.” And with that he dropped me. They never were nice to me even when I was hurt. I hurt to walk the rest of the way but what other choice did I have.

I was still mourning over the thought of Mars, I can’t believe it happened.  I can’t believe I lost her. I felt a tear slip down my face at the memory of her. If only we just stayed put in the house and didn’t have the need to move so much then she would still be here with me and I wouldn’t be in so much physical and emotional pain right now.

When we got back to the house I went to see the pack doctor. My nose ended up being fractured form that last punch and the two holes from the knife in my side, were said to be ok. But they would heal slowly because they were so deep. So in other words no serious damage, it would take long to heal and it would hurt.

I went out to the pack and told them all what happened. They said asked nothing else and didn’t talk to me. the alpha just sent me to my bed to rest while they discussed things. I argued that I should be there to listen because it does involve me but they all just yelled at me.

That night I cried myself to sleep thinking about Mars and what’s happening to her right now. I would do whatever it takes to get her back and I don’t care.

In the morning I awoke to the sound of cheering and singing. Probably to Dustin. It was after all his birthday and his room was right across from mine. After the cheering went down and everyone went down the stairs and crawled out of my bed and went to get a towel from the closet to shower. On my way out I saw him come out of his room. I looked away since he didn’t like me but I looked up and mumbled “happy birthday” but when I looked in his eyes my whole world stopped and reached out “Mate” I whispered and touched him. He just stared then pushed me inside my room

“no one will know about this. I can’t have you for a mate ok? I need someone beautiful and strong, someone who is liked and is actually worth the time of day to talk to, not something like that, I mean you. You’re just not my type and stay away from me. I don’t want you talking to me; I don’t want people to think I'm friends or possibly even mates with someone as stupid and ugly as you. I officially reject you as my mate.” He finally finished. My hear hurt. It wolf howled with pain inside me, tears slipped down my cheeks.

And for a second his eyes softened at the sight but they just turned hard and black again right away. He turned around and walked out the door.

I sank into the corner of my room. I just lost my sister, got stabbed and rejected by my mate. Why does everything have to be so hard for me. I have no one left. The pain in my heart hurt so much alls I could do was cry. For everything I lost and will lose. My heart was breaking into pieces and I couldn’t do anything about it. it felt like it was repedly getting stabbed again and again but the blood wouldn't stop coming. there was just to much pain. one question was in my mind at the moment. why, why was i just not good enough?