Am I Not Good Enough

Chapter 17 part 2

well here's the rest of the chapter. next upload should be wednesday

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 Chapter 17 part 2

“the hell you’re not! we’re not losing another one. They’re going to take you and someone needs to be there with you” Dustin spoke up. I was so sick of him right now and his stupid efforts.

“no this is my problem and I will  choose how to deal with it! I don’t want anyone following me! you guys are not in my pack so no one can command me to do so. The only one who has that decision is Jace."

Everyone turned their heads to look over at him. he kept a blank hard face but I knew he was thinking. “This is Maya’s decision and if she wants to go by herself then that is what she will do.” He said. his voice was full and threatening like when a alpha gave a command.

“ok Maya you have a few hours, and you better change your mind. Your only putting yourself in more danger. They could kill you” alpha Railington said.

‘well I’d rather die saving 40 wolves than staying alive and letting the rest of them die. my life is worth no more than theirs.”  I said calmly, I turned around and headed back up the stairs. I could feel everyone’s eye on me as I walked but I don’t care. This was bigger than me and I wasn’t going to mess that up. Now there is somthin else going on here.

I went back into Chris’s room, his phone buzzed with the vibration. I reached for it. ‘One new message ‘ it said on the screen. I opened it and checked the message. Me and Chris had nothing to hide. And it might be important so I might as well see what is going on here. From Mindy: Chris your my mate, and I’ve been thinking. I’m not going to let you go that easy. We need to talk.

What the hell? He found his mate? When! “CHRIS” I screamed at the top of my lungs. In 2 seconds Chris and Dustin bursted in the room “ I said Chris” I looked over at Dustin and shooed him out of my room. He left and Chris walked in looking around “what?” he said looking confused. “what? What the hell is this? You found your mate and decided not to tell me? and why is she saying that you let her go. You better have a good reason for this!” I said chucking the phone over at him.

He read it then looked back u at me with more understanding on his face. “Maya promise to hear me out please” he begged. I just nodded. This was sure to be good. “well when I went to get the Chinese food yesterday, that’s when I first saw her. but I rejected her nicely because of you. You don’t deserve anymore heart break, you’ve bin through so much already I didn’t want to hurt you anymore. I was happy with you, it was just going to take some time to get over her. that’s why I pushed you away yesterday” he explained looking right into my eyes, trying to read my reaction.

My face softened “Chris I know you care about me. but what about your mate? I don’t want her to have to go through what I have to with my mate just because of me. I don’t want anyone feeling like that if it has anything to do with me. I never expected you to reject your mate for me no matter what. If you found her I would understand and I do. Yea it hurts ill get over it. Your my best friend, and you don’t have to do me any favors that will cause your pain.” I got off the bed and walked over to him holding his hand.

I pulled him into a hug. I never expected him to do this for me “I love you Chris and nothing will change that, but the other kind of love, only your mate can give you. I love you like a best friend. Like my brother. Only you have that and you need to be with your mate” I explained to him. I looked up at him and he had uncertainty in his eye’s. “Maya I don’t know. I really love you too. And I want to be with you. I don’t know her. and I would hate to let a mate bond rule who I chose to end up with.” He said,

There was just no getting through to him was there! “Chris please reason with me. I’ll give you some time to think. But do you want to end up like Dustin chasing after your mate when she’s given up?” I asked him backing away. “yea but I have something Dustin doesn’t have. I have love with you. He never had real love, he rejected you for no reason, and I have a reason.” He looked over at me with a loving face.

“yea but Chris am I worth all you’re going to lose from your choice?” I took one last look at him before turning and walking out. I want him to be happy but I don’t want it to be for the wrong reason. I would still be with him, but I don’t want to break his heart and his mates. I know what she’s going through. And she had more guts than me to at least try. I walked over and jumped back on my bed.

A second late Dustin walked in. “I heard the first part of what you said and how Chris found his mate. Maya please give me a chance. I really am sorry, I know I’m not the greatest mate but I want you so bad you don’t know how much it hurts” he pleaded. “Where the hell did this come from. And yea I do know what it feels like. I went through so much heart break over those 2 months; I’m not that easy Dustin. And Chris finding his mate changes nothing between us.” I narrowed my eyes and him. I don’t know what he was on to but I didn’t want in on it.

“Maya please just think. I know somewhere in your heart there is still a place for me.” he said. ‘yea that’s true, but I don’t know if I want that part to be let out.” I explained. I searched his eyes for the truth and as far as I could see it was there. “please Maya just think about it.” He said one last time then left. I sighed and laid back down on my bed.

My phone buzzed on the table beside me ‘hey Maya. I know you want to go on your own today. But please let me come with you. I care about you and you know that. We won’t tell anyone I just want to be there. I’ll stay out of sight. They don’t even know you changed packs so it’ll be fine. Please say yes – Jace.’ It read. I thought about it for a second. What if they caught me and only brought me back where I and all the others were left for dead? Was it worth it? I couldn’t do this on my own I know that for sure. But I need to know what exactly is going on before I decide what to do about it.

‘ok Jace just you and you can’t tell anyone. But I have a feeling something else is going on here that is bigger than me. I just need to know what.’ And with that I flipped the phone shut. This was all to much for me to handle but I needed to stay strong and pull through.  I raked my hand through my hair and decided it was time to brighten up the day a little. While still staying on top of my problems, I would go drive down to that Chinese place, get some food and talk to Mindy then I would go and get some weapons made from a werewolf guy I know. Then I will inspect the block around the café incase I need a quick break, cause honestly I didn’t even know where this thing was. I was hoping for the best and sometimes that isn’t good enough, 

I got up and decided to stop being lazy. I quickly got dressed in some black jeans with a white sweater and a scarf. I put on some black combat boots. They were pretty ugly but I only bought them so they would be good for training and stuff. I grabbed a pocket knife and stuck it in my back pocket along with my phone.

I headed sneaked out my window. I didn’t want anyone knowing I was going out or they would insist on coming with me, and I didn’t have the patience to deal with them right now, I got in the car and drove off. I was speeding because I was short on time. I had a goal and I had to be back for 3 before I have to explain why I was missing for god know how long. It was 11 now so I had a few hours. In 15 minutes I pulled up at the food place.

I walked into the beautiful glowing lights that filled the restaurant, I walked up to the counter where a girl with tired blue eyes worked. She had bags under her eyes but still managed to look so beautiful. “hi I’m looking for Mindy” I said. “that’s me” it took me by surprise. Chris’s mate was a hard working girl, you could just tell by her face. “could I talk to you for a bit” I asked nicely. “why” she narrowed her eyes at me and that made me smile. She was a smart girl and defiantly good for him. “if I told you, you probably wouldn’t come” I shrugged and smiled. That always made people curious and came, “ok fine I get off now on break.” She said hanging up her apron then walking out from behind the counter.

We sat in the booth next to the window. “so I know you and Chris are mates. I’m the girl he’s with right now” I stated. Her eyes looked surprised but not angry, she looked genuinely curious for some reason. As to of why Chris’s girl would come and talk to her so nicely. Well she was about to find out, she’s going to be part of our family and probably pack soon, so I might as well get her started right?