Am I Not Good Enough

Chapter 28

so this Chap get's back into the romance stuff. my vote goal for this chapter is 5, and if i get my goal vote every upload this week i'll double upload monday, so anyway comment vote and enjoy

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Chapter 28

I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. I had no idea why they were staring at me like that but it wasn’t like I was going to be the first one to speak. And if they didn’t then I was just going to leave.

“I thought…. I didn’t think you were going to make it out” Chris mumbled.  My eyes snapped over to meet his dark ones. They were so full of strength and emotion, but also sadness. “yea, well I did” I said evenly. I still remember what he said. And just because I was close to death doesn’t all of a sudden make you feel sorry for a person. That’s just regret inside of you, but really you will still feel the same way about them, so I'm not fooled with Chris’s little sad act.

“Maya, please believe me I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to say that, I just got mad and with all the stress it slipped out. I took out my anger on you and I really didn’t mean it” he looked me straight in the eyes as he said it. “I don’t believe you Chris. You meant that honestly and I know it. your only feeling sorry because of the situation I was in. you had plenty of stress and different people to take it out on, but after what you said, it was like your true feelings for me really came out. and that’s how I see it so don’t try and change my mind.” My voice was firm and even.  My face was straight as I looked right into his eyes and said that. I could see the pain there. But that’s just memory’s, of what we used to be like. Best friends.

That was final; these two brothers just knew how to get to me the most. And I'm done being played with. Yea, yes there both sorry. Well I'm not anymore.  He looked down and didn’t say another word. I found this new courage coming at me now and I had no idea where it came from, I could have used this a long time ago. “Maya, you don’t know how bad I wanted to be there for you, I just chose the wrong path. Please, you mean the world too me” Dustin tried.

He took a step towards me as he said that. “I know you wanted to be there for me. I know you want me. I know you regret the rejection. I know how you feel about this.” Surprise and hope lit up his face but I wasn’t done. For some reason I had all this raw truth right in front of me and I chose now to step forward and get it over with. “but that’s only because of the mate bond, and I refuse for that to control who I love. You don’t really love me. or you would have realised it all along. It’s jus because this bond that you want me” these words didn’t surprise me at all. I guess I knew it inside all along I just chose not to acknowledge it.  it’s coming out before I even think about it. its honesty from the heart I guess you could say.

“No it isn’t Maya.   You’re more than just a stupid bond. The bond just brings wolfs together. Its them that does the real bonding and connection to each other’s. and I’ve only just realised half of what I'm missing. I don’t care about a damn mates bond. I just want you. Weather your my mate or not” he said. his voice held desperation and sorrow. But I couldn’t bring myself to feel it right now.

“That’s where your wrong Dustin, if it wasn’t for the bond you would have continued to ignore me and never notice me.  if I wasn’t your mate you would be happy with another.” I wanted him to understand this. I wasn’t going to be with him just because of some bond.  I wasn’t going to let it chose who I love before I even had a chance to try.

“yea but we were made for each other, that’s why we were bonded. The bond brings wolfs together that wouldn’t find each other otherwise. The bond brings true love that we wouldn’t find if it wasn’t for it. we were made to love this person and that’s how it’s supposed to be.  We don’t love each other because of the bond, we love each other for who they are. The bond is just a simple I guess you could say instinct.  Our wolves can sense it, and that’s how it’s supposed to be. Don’t fight it Maya, because you will lose. “ he said in all seriousness,