The Mystery of Love (Johnlock)

I Love You, So Much

Sherlock woke up the next morning in his bed with a puddle of tears on his pillow. He checked the time and saw that it was 9:35 in the morning. The light shined through his window lighting up the whole room with warm sunlight. Sherlock looked around and saw a note next to the bottle of wine he neglected to drink. On the front, it said:

To: Sherlock From: Molly

Sherlock reached down and opened the note. It was quite long and took the entirety of three pages. It read:

Dear Sherlock,

To start off, I want to say thank you for sharing your feelings for John with me. I am overjoyed to know that you trust me enough to share your heart and soul with me and to allow me to see the most vulnerable parts of yourself. There was a lot that you told me about yesterday and I hope I get through all of it in this letter.

You started by telling me what happened during your date. You said that when John woke you up you had a dream about him being shot by Moriarty. Before that happened, you and John were a couple. You were able to say "I love you" to John in your dream and later on, when you were actually with him, you couldn't say it. I studied the meanings of dreams in college and yours is quite simple really.

In your dream, John showed affection first. He called you Babe. He made it very clear that he loved you. The reason you can't tell him "I love you" in real life is because you are afraid that he doesn't reciprocate the feelings. You want to be certain that he will say yes to you. You are trying to save yourself from rejection, when in reality you don't have to. You are also afraid of loss. You are afraid that if you get attached to John, something bad will happen to him. You are afraid that he will become a target for others. You don't want him to get hurt or put in danger.

I know this because of what you told me next. You told me about all the times you did put him in danger. During the Great Game he had a bomb strapped to his chest, he was kidnapped and almost killed in the Blind Banker and he was almost burned to death. You don't want to put him at risk and you don't want to go through loss. You also feel guilty for the loss you put him through when I helped you fake your suicide. You are afraid. You want him to make the first move or at least know with 100% certainty that he will love you too.

I can't tell you what to do but I can give you advice. It's your choice whether you use it or not. I suggest that you get to know John a bit more. You may be thinking that you know all you can know about him but in reality, you don't. First, ask him to do something with you. Go do something fun that doesn't involve murder or danger but still allows you to talk with one another. Go to a carnival or a party or a celebration. Go out of town and do something different.

When you guys are out of town, ask him things, ask him about his family. Do not deduce things about him. Leave them to yourself. If he asks why you are asking him all this stuff and not deducing him, tell him that you want to hear it from him just as it is. Be honest with him and don't be afraid to be vulnerable around him. If he tells you something, ask how that makes him feel then tell him how that would make you feel, but try not to make yourself seem better or more masculine than him okay. It's okay to be soft.

Most importantly, don't be afraid. He does love you. He made you dinner, he loves to be with you, he will defend and protect you in any situation and he can't think anything bad about you except for what other people think about you. They aren't even his words. If he calls out one of your faults, he most likely heard someone else say it and is just repeating it. Don't be afraid to tell him you love him. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain because no matter what, at the end of the day, John loves you just as much as you love him.