Dear Rosie,
when I last saw you, I really behaved badly. I was so... disappointed of myself. You know it's hard sometimes, I just have to cope with so many things and want them all to be perfect. And I wanted to be perfect for you. You know I didn't have it easy. You know you really are my only friend, the one person I can always trust and count on. And when I saw you there... so sad, miserable, I was afraid you'd find me not to be perfect. I thought you could like her over me. I was acting so childish and if I could, I took every single one of my words back. But I guess what's said's said. I want to apologize to you. I couldn't think properly, because I was in fear to lose you. You know... I like you. More than just as a friend and that is confusing. I never felt this way about a person before and I also never feared rejecting so much. I said things... mean ones even.. hurtful stuff. Things I really shouldn't have said and I want you to know that's not what I really think. I admit, I wanted to hurt you in that very moment. I wanted to hurt you because I thought you'd hurt me. But you didn't. It was all in my imagination. I hope we can start again. Get back to where we were, because I liked it that way. In fear of losing you, I pushed you away. It was stupid. I did what I didn't want.
I'm sorry Rosie.
In Love,
N.
