I haven't updated this story in a while, and I wasn't sad about it. Because every time I wrote another part, I felt so extremely down.
The beginning of this year couldn't have been better. Yes, it wasn't as good as many other people's life. But at some point, I succeeded with my finals, I got my driver's license, I got accepted for my volunteer-year, I got accepted into summer camp, prom wasn't bad at all and I made so many new friends.
That's a lot and I love it.
But humans always focus on the one bad thing happening in their lives, letting it ruin everything.
In my case, that bad thing is my co-worker and flatmate. To keep it simple- and because I've got two other co-workers, one of which being my other flatmate- I'm gonna call her Katy.
At first, Katy and I got along pretty well, I told her I was sometimes talking a lot and she should simply tell me when that point would be reached and she countered that she wasn't the one to talk much anyways and that she needed someone to talk a lot. Easy as that.
After like a week, though, we had our first workshop together, all four of us sleeping in the same room.
Since I'm snoring and Katy and my co-worker but not flatmate- let's call her Hillary- are light sleepers, they told me they couldn't sleep well the first night. I asked them whether perhaps I should change rooms, but they didn't answer, signaling me, that I didn't need to.
So I didn't, also because I noticed they were talking mean stuff behind my back a.k.a. when they thought I was sleeping. And I didn't want to miss out on what was going on.
So Hillary and I needed like a week after the workshop to get along again, but Katy has been a bitch ever since. She hasn't really tried getting along with me at all- as far as I know. And while I surely also ain't the innocence in person- I can get quite bitchy, too, whenever I feel threatened- I am spending almost all my time thinking about how I could get along with her. But she makes it just impossible for me. She's step-by-step taking everyone around me from me. Every person we met through work, she's got on her side. And while most of the time our other flatmate- let's call her Ina- was a neutral person, they are doing a lot with each other now, keeping me out of everything.
I only get along with everyone now, whenever Katy's not around. I hate that because it makes me feel miserable and helpless.
Also, I am the only one without a car. Hillary has got a car, Katy's got a car and Ina does. The next supermarket is like 4 kilometers away and especially with wind and rain it's not easy going there by bike. Katy and Ina both are at their homes a lot because they both do not live far by car, so they do not have to buy groceries as often as I do.
And whenever they are grocery shopping, I ask whether I may tag along. When I ask Ina, she usually says yes, but she rarely ever goes shopping. Whenever I ask Katy, people are usually around and that's why she's mostly not saying no.
Today, however, she told me I couldn't come with her since her car was a mess and she would already take a person with her on the only free space. I was okay with that, everything was fine. But then, she tried convincing Ina to come with her, which leads me to the question why there was room for Ina, but not for me? What a bitch move, am I right?
I just really want to ask them again what I could possibly do so they might like me a little more. But it would result in nothing. They'd either tell me they have nothing against me(Ina) or get mad at me for asking(Katy). And I hate it. I want to be included.
I finally am free from school and my parents, and now I am a hostage in my own life again because people feel like they've got the right to make my life miserable.
