Oneshots

Gerard Way: I'm Not Okay... Yet

I was walking home from school like any other day, but today seemed different. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach but I couldn’t place what it was. The fall air breeze was blowing through very lightly, my brown hair flowed with it, it seemed they were almost dancing together. Kind of like a Waltz. I sighed to myself content with my surroundings, but it was broken when I heard somebody yelling my name.

“Hey Victoria! TORI!” I whipped my head around to see Mikey Way running towards me, and his older brother Gerard Way was walking towards me as well but Mikey was farther ahead. I grinned at both of them; they were my best friends along with Frank Iero, Ray Toro, and Bob Bryar. I had stopped walking so I could wait for both of them, Mikey caught up but doubled over breathing heavily “your out of shape, dude” he laughed in between intakes of air “shut up” he said breathlessly, Gerard had finally caught up and was giving Mikey a weird look. “Hey Gee” I greeted him with a smile he smiled back and nodded.

Gerard always keeps to himself, he’s very quiet and won’t speak out very often unless he is provoked too and when he does speak sometimes it’s either to ask/answer a question, to say something on his mind, speak out, or when he sings (which he doesn’t do in front of us). Oh, and he has a very bad potty mouth. Mikey had finally gotten back up and we were all walking home (they lived down the block from me).

“You guys wanna come over?” I asked nonchalantly as we got nearer to my house, “I can’t I have to go help Mom with something” Mikey muttered, I smiled sweetly at him and looked at Gerard. “Sure” he shrugged speaking quietly, I grinned, “well sucks to be you, Mikey! Have fun anyway!” I said as we turned onto my driveway and walked up to the house, “yeah well shut up!” he called as he kept on walking.

We walked into the house, slamming the door behind us dropped our stuff on the couches and lounged next to them nothing new. My parents weren’t home, and probably wouldn’t be until 5.

I had gotten up and proceeded to get myself a drink “want anything Gerard?” “Nah” he called back, I came back in and sipped on it for a little bit trying to make conversation with something. “How’s the band?” I asked, Gerard thought for a moment “we’re getting there, better and better each day. I… actually wrote a new song the other day” he said quietly and sheepishly. I got excited; I always did whenever he wrote new songs. I absolutely love they’re music, and Gerard is just an amazing songwriter!

“Can I hear it?” I asked bouncing up and down in the chair, he hesitated for a moment but then grinned and nodded “I just need a guitar” he said above a whisper, I nodded and jumped up the stairs to my room to grab my acoustic guitar and jumped back down the stairs. I handed him the guitar, and he looked a nervous. He has never really sung just to me, he usually sang with the band and even then he doesn’t like to sing to any of us alone.

He started to strum, I could already tell by the way he was playing it that it was a really hardcore song, then he started to sing.

Well, if you want it honesty, that's all you have to say.

I never want to let you down or have you go.

It's better off this way.

For all the dirty looks,

The photographs your boyfriend took.

Remember when you broke your foot

From jumping out the second floor!

I'm not okay!

I'm not okay!

I'm not okay!

You wear me out!

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?

I've told you time and time again

You sing the words but don't know what it means

To be a joke and look,

Another line without a hook.

I held you close as we both shook for the last time.

Take a good hard look!

I'm not okay!

I'm not okay!

I'm not okay!

You wear me out!

Forget about the dirty looks,

The photographs your boyfriend took.

You said you'd read me like a book,

But the pages are all torn and frayed.

Now I'm okay!

I'm okay!

I'm okay now!

But you really need to listen to me

Because I'm telling you the truth!

I mean this, I'm okay!

Trust me!

I'm not okay!

I'm not okay!

Well, I'm not okay!

I'm not o-fucking-kay!

I'm not okay!

I'm not okay!

When he finished I was just stunned, for the fact that his singing amazes me still and for another fact that I loved the song… but there was something about it… the lyrics they almost… reflected my life. I jumped out a second floor window once and broke my foot, my (now ex) boyfriend used to always take photographs of me, I sing songs that I don’t know the meaning of, I tell Gerard all the time I can read him like a book (considering how quiet he is), I also remember once when he held me because I got scared when a thunderstorm started up one evening when we were hanging out, and when we were little I used to give him dirty looks because he’d stare at me when I used to play in the front yard of my house.

I looked into Gerard’s hazel/brown eyes, and I saw him staring into my blue ones. “Gerard… that was… amazing” I said my smiling growing with every word, he grinned back and blushed looking away shamelessly. I realized that even though him and me are almost complete opposites (me being loud and him being soft) it was at that moment, that it had finally struck me… I’m in love with Gerard Way.

“That song, those lyrics” I said, Gerard looked at me I was looking at the floor though, “they seem so…” I trailed off unable to find the right word “familiar?” he spoke up, answering for me. I grinned and looked at him, “yeah” he grinned and kept staring into my eyes, he then reached over and brushed some of my hair out of my face. “Well that’s because… it’s about you” he said quietly blushing, my grin widened. “That’s very sweet Gee, but why me?” his blushed deepened but didn’t break our gaze.

“Because… I love you,” he answered like it was obvious, and he said it… not quietly but with confidence and in a normal speaking voice. My heart did 3 flips and my stomach filled with butterflies, I felt myself blush but my face break out into a smile. “Gee… I love you too” his face broke into a beaming face. He propped the guitar up against the couch, walked over to me and took my face in his hands and kissed me with love I could tell that he had muster up for years now. When he pull away, I asked him “are you okay?” he grinned and replied in a whisper “better then okay.”