I sighed as I walked down the chilly sidewalks of New York, I furrowed my hands into my jacket pockets trying to keep my hands warm, a frown was on my face my eyes holding no emotion my heart felt like it was torn apart. It had started to lightly snow but I could care less, I would normally enjoy and welcome the snow but right now my mind was somewhere else. I just… couldn’t get my mind off him.
Flashback
“Chris, what’s wrong?” I asked him, I was looking at him concern, he didn’t seem like himself today he seemed to be in pain over something and he wasn’t wearing that dorky grin of his that he usually has on. He hadn’t cracked one smile today; he actually wore shoes all day, and didn’t speak a word to anybody or me today.
He turned to me, his eyes starting to glaze with tears he looked deep into my eyes, I saw finally that his beautiful golden eyes were full of regret, remorse, and hurt. I laid a hand on his face; he grabbed it and laced it with his own hand kissing it lightly. “Amanda…” his voice hoarse it sounded almost in a whisper. “Yeah?” I ask my concern building, “I-I think…” he began unable to look at me much longer but instead holding my hand tighter, “w-we should… see other p-people” he stammered, tears silently falling down his face, clenching his teeth so a cry won’t escape his beautiful lips.
“Wh-what?” I asked in complete shock and he got me completely blind-sided, the pain wasn’t fully sinking in yet. “I-I don’t think we sh-should be together any more… th-things are getting complicated” he said through his clenched teeth, still stammering his tears hitting our laced hands. I hadn’t noticed that tears were falling down my face, “b-b-but I-I thought…” I said but I was unable to finish, I pulled my hand from his using it to wipe my tears. “I-It’s not th-that I don’t l-love you anymore… it’s just th-that… my life is g-getting complicated a-and I don’t w-want…” but before he could finish, I bursted in before he could finish “you just don’t want me in it!?” I exclaimed anger suddenly rising inside me. “N-no! Th-that’s not it!” he said shocked at what I said, looking at me tears still falling from his beautiful face. “Well apparently you don’t want me anymore in you’re complicated!” I shouted standing up abruptly, and running out the door. “No! Amanda, wait please!” I heard Chris cry after me one last time.
End Flashback
That was 4 years ago though, Chris has probably moved on by now. I mean in the last four years he has become famous and has become widely known as NeverShoutNever, all these tween girls are in love with him. I have seen pictures of him smiling like he did when we were together, I’ve heard his songs that sing about love, but I just can’t bare myself to see him. I just know that in last four years is that I have gotten a job at Starbucks, got a small apartment just for myself and my cat, and have only kept in touch with a few of my friends which of whom all work at Starbucks with me, and that I’m still in love with Christofer Drew Ingle.
As I walked into Starbucks ready to start my shift, my heart started to hurt as I heard the music playing in the store. It was of course none other then Big City Dreams by NeverShoutNever. Even though I love Christofer I try and steer myself away from his music, but working here has its downsides one of which is having to listen to Chris’ music for about 8-10 hours at a time. Everybody at work knew about Chris and I but yet they still played his music, they also thought it would help me get over him but it didn’t. It took almost all my might to not breakdown when a new song came on.
“Hey Amanda, how you doing?” my friend Ashlee asked me, I looked at her gave her a weak smile and say simply “the usual” she nodded understanding, even though she has had a crush on Christofer since she 14 she would never do anything to steal him away from me or anything. I put on my green apron/smock and tied it in the back. My other friend Joanna was already brewing some coffee. Today I had the evening shift, so I had to close up.
After about a few hours, and none stop playing of NSN (didn’t help that Ashlee kept singing along) Ashlee and Joanna had finally gone home and I was the only one left. Just as the song Trouble started to play, I sighed to myself “finally I can play my own music” I said mainly to myself since there was literary nobody left. I decided to put on some Simple Plan, and then I went back to the front room and was turning off some of the machines and emptying the filters of the coffee beans.
When I suddenly heard a voice say “aw I liked that song” my heart leaped painfully but also with happiness, I knew that voice all too well. My head shot up and I turned around to see none other then Christofer Drew Ingle leaning against the counter smiling at me. But when I looked into his eyes, they seemed dull, lifeless, and broken. “Chris…?” I said but it came out like a question, “hello Amanda” I looked at him shocked, not sure what emotion to comprehend at the moment. “How did you… when did you…Why are you here?” I asked baffled at his appearance walking towards him.
He jumped up on the counter and swung his legs over it so he was facing me his feet dangling, his smile was still there on his lips but it wasn’t like he meant it. “I’m here because I’ve been looking for you everywhere, I don’t think I can take another year without you with me. I’ve missed you more then anybody could ever miss someone. I miss everything about; you’re smile, you’re laugh, you’re shimmering eyes, you’re soft lips, you’re beautiful face, you’re everything. And that song you just turned off, Trouble, it was about you. All my love songs are about you.” He explained in detail, I looked at him still in shock, and in even more shock he said that. “But I thought… that you didn’t want me in you’re life anymore because things were getting complicated…” I trailed off, both of us looking deeply into each other’s eyes.
“No! Not at all, you never let me finished what I was going to say that day. I was going to say that I just don’t want you getting caught up in my complicated life, because if something were to go wrong I wouldn’t want you to be there. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt because I love you too much” he said tears brimming in both of our eyes, “then… why did break up with me if you still love me then?” I asked standing right in front of him, he grabbed my hands and held them in his “because just like I said before, I never ever wanted to hurt you and with everything going on now I’m always busy so I’d never get to see you, the paparazzi always on my ass I wouldn’t want you to get caught up in the tabloids, and if something were to go wrong whatever it may be I wouldn’t want you to hurt at all… I’ve regretted breaking up with you the minute you ran out the door. I cried myself to sleep every night, for about a year I wouldn’t do anything but lay around the house and smoke. Everyday I would find something that reminds me of you, and I’d start sobbing, the pillows still smell like you, and soon enough I’d start righting songs about you… that’s how I got big. But... I’m not sure if we should get back together… as much I would love to be with you again my life is still complicated and it’s just gonna get more complicated as life goes on” Chris said as he played with my fingers and kissed each of them.
“Chris I don’t care how complicated you’re life gets I’ll always be by your side no matter what, and if things do happen we’ll work through it, I know we can. All I know right now is that my love for you has grown over these last 5 years and all I want to do right now is be with you” I said our eyes still boring into one another’s, he grinned his eyes filling with life and happiness. “My love has grown over the years too, and all I want to say right now is I love you. Over and over again” he whispered, “then say it,” I whispered back, his smile widened “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you” and with each I love you, he leaned closer until our lips touched and he kissed me. I kissed back wrapping my arms around his neck, he slowly lifted himself off the counter and placed himself in front of me wrapping his arms around me.
He pulled away slowly not wanting to stop, “I love you so, so, so much” he whispered leaning his forehead against mine, “I love you just as much” I whispered back, he kissed me passionately again as the song I’d Do Anything For You by Simple Plan play, Chris smiled and pulled away. “This song explains how I’ve felt during the last 5 years” I said softly, Chris kissed my forehead.
Then he started to hum the song Trouble, and soon enough he turned off the music somehow found a Guitar in the closet and started to play it to me. “Oh Chris you don’t have to” I said grinning for the first time in 5 years my eyes and heart full of happiness and love his reflecting the same. “But I want too, I’ve wanted to for 5 years."
YOU ARE READING
Oneshots
FanfictionA collection of random oneshot stories that I have written when I was between the ages of 12-14 years old. WARNING: Might be cringe. Read at your own risk.
