To Make You Smile

When You Walked Away (Pt.1)

~*~ When You Walked Away (Pt.1)

I watched as another girl walked up to him and smiled, batting her lashes and biting her lip. She pushed her chest a little closer to his face and played the shy, innocent girl. He smiled at her politely, signed the CD she handed him, and posed for a quick picture.

It had been the same routine for hours now and I had it down to a science by now. I chewed my bottom lip thoughtfully as I took a break from peering through my binoculars.

He wasn't looking at them any differently than he ever had. I needed to calm down and take a deep breath. Nothing was going to happen. He loved me.

I was beginning to turn away from my vantage point when a flash of red caught my eye. I debated turning my back and walking away but my curiosity won out. There hadn't been a single ginger all day and now I wanted to assess the other girl.

I brought the binoculars back to my eyes and checked her out. She was giving Zelo the once over like all the others had today. I could see her leaning against the table in between them, giving him a perfect view down her shirt.

His eyes darted up to her eyes but, for just a second, I thought I saw them flutter lower... 

She brushed her hair away from her shoulder and laughed at something he said. I could hear the high pitched trilling laugh from across the street. My teeth clenched together as she put her hand on his shoulder to get their picture taken. He wasn't supposed to be so touchy with the fans. He promised he wouldn't.

 I could feel the beginning of a tightness in my chest. Soon after, my eyes started to prick and sting with unshed tears. The binoculars fell from my numb hands and I couldn't be bothered to pick them up. There was nothing else I wanted to see.

I walked slowly away from the balcony and leaned against the wall, sinking gratefully to the cool floor. My breaths were becoming quick and shallow and there was a dull ache taking place where my heart should be. It felt like my heart wasn't there anymore, like it was replaced with something cold and empty. I didn't like the feeling at all.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed like that, hugging my knees to my chest on the floor. It must have been hours because when I heard the door to the apartment open and shut I was jogged back to reality. I slowly stood up, feeling the stiffness in my muscles as I did so. My joints creaked with the effort of holding my weight and I had to brace my hands against the wall to straighten my back out of the stoop it seemed stuck in.

"Jagiya, are you here?" I heard his keys clink softly as they landed in the dish in the hallway. "I'm home." His footsteps were coming closer to me and with each step I felt the ache in my chest grow. It was physically painful and I had to put my hand to my chest to try and alleviate the pain.

"Jagiya! Are you okay?" Zelo asked, rushing to me. I was leaning against the counter, my hand still clenched over my heart. The pain only intensified hearing his voice as he called me that name. That name I used to love. "What's wrong, love?"

It took all of my strength to raise my eyes to meet his. As soon as he saw the unshed tears in my eyes he placed his hands on my shoulders, looking me over for any injuries. "Baby, what's wrong? Talk to me," he pleaded, worry coating his voice and beautiful features.

"I saw you." I managed to croak out. My voice was hoarse and my breathing was still horribly off-kilter. "I saw you today."

"When? I looked for you but I couldn't find you..." He knew I liked to sit out on the balcony and watch him during the fan signings. We couldn't be together twenty-four seven but we liked to be near each other. When Yongguk told us that the fan signing would be at the park across the street from our apartment, Zelo helped me to set up the balcony so I could watch him. He liked to be able to look up and see me smiling at him and I liked to be able to watch him interact with his fans and friends.