Tempted (#Wattys2015)

Tempted:42:

*Justin*

Tuesday:
7:03 AM

"Come here princess." I said to Jazzy, picking her up in the kitchen and pecked her cheek. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good." She said, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that." I chuckled, lightly resting my head on hers. "Would you like me to make you some breakfast?"

"Yes please." She nodded, a small cute giggle escaping her lips.

"Ok. Did you check and see if Mommy was still sleeping?"

"I'm right here."

I turned my head, sitting Jazzy down to look at my mom as she rounded the corner.

The chemo hadn't really effected her hair, sure a little bit, but she still had most of it. I knew she was self-conscious about that. All of it.

"Hey Mom, do you want some breakfast?"

"Yeah, sure." She managed a smile at me, patting the seat next to the one she used to sit at when we ate dinner together.

The fact that she even wanted to eat made me smile, and sitting in her spot like she used to...I hadn't seen that because last night was the first time I slept in my own room for almost four years.

That alone was weird...but it was a good feeling.

"Morning." Dad came downstairs dressed, looking at the three of us. "Is Jaxon at school already?"

"No!" He howled, running down the stairs. "I'm leaving now."

"Let me just drive you. If you walk now you're going to be late."

"Are you sure? Do you have time?"

"Yeah, you're on the way."

"And I have kindergarten!" Jazzy squealed from her seat, holding up her pointer finger."

"I know, Justin's taking you today."

"Yes I am." I chirped, pulling out eggs from the fridge.

"Really? Cool!"

"See, you're big brother pretty awesome after all." I turned around to smile at her, but in doing so I saw mom, and for the first time in weeks I saw a real smile on her face.

"Alright, let's go. Goodbye to you," Dad leaned down, kissing Jazzy's forehead. "And goodbye to you." Then what I least expected happened - he kissed Mom's.

I froze in place, and everyone in that moment seemed to be in shock except for Jazzy - Jaxon's mouth was slightly open, and we were both staring at each other, our eyebrows frowed together in confusion.

"Bye, I'll see you later." Was all Mom said before clearing her throat slightly, looking down at her hands folded in her lap.

"Come on Jaxon, let's go."

I heard murmuring before the door closed behind them, and I broke myself from the stare I had been holding, going to where the bowls were in the cabinets and pulled on down to break the eggs in.

Maybe all of this had been good for them...maybe she wanted to come here, to be back home with us...to be with Dad...maybe...

_______________

*Bella*

"How far are you on your piece?"

Jessica asked me, a blonde in my class that I had only spoken to a few times, but when I had she was really nice, and I knew it was time I actually interacted with other people besides Trent.

Justin would love that.

"Not very far actually," I admitted with a shrug. "I've been having a little trouble writing lately. I thought about just writing an instrumental piece."

"You don't have anything to write about when you have stuff going on with that guy?" She asked, nodding her head in the direction towards Trent.

"Oh, no, no, no," I shook my head quickly, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I have a boyfriend back home. Trent and I are just friends. I'm really happy with what I have now."

"Really? What's his name?" She smiled, propping her chin in her palm, actually interested in listening.

"Justin."

"Is he cute?" She asked playfully, making me laugh while I felt a blush crawl up my cheeks.

"Yes, but he doesn't like that word." I pulled out my phone discreetly, clicking the button up top so it lit up to show her the current picture I had of him and I as my wallpaper.

"Awe."

"Yeah, so there is no me and Trent."

"Why don't you write about Justin then?"

"I mean I could, I just feel like it's complicated lately."

"A piano piece could come out of that, you don't have to have words. Sometimes the notes tell a story all in themselves."

"That's very true." I smiled at her, then stood up, looking around the room. "I'm going to go find a piano now."

"Good luck." She smiled back, and I stood up, walking out of the room down the hall.

I peeked my head around every doorway that led to one of the pianos, and the best one was left completely empty. It had the grand piano in it - the real piano - not a keyboard.



I shut the door behind me, sitting my books on top of the piano and sat down, staring at the keys.

It really shouldn't be that hard to write about him, should it?

My fingers found a few notes, and then the next thing I knew they were telling Justin's story, starting with him fighting with his parents at home, leaving his home at 17, partying, then finding me, everything we had been through, and then his mom.

I went back and fixed a few things, repeating it over and over again so I could memorize it for later. I'd have to perfect it for him - for me.

When I checked the time, an hour and a half had gone by, and I knew my class was way over - and most of my classmates were gone, but that was ok. I knew I had this all to myself, which was good, because I was crying.


Maybe it was just me, but I knew he hadn't really been talking to me about what was going on, I never got details on how his mom was - on how he was. I truly did miss seeing him everyday, of him being able to sneak in my room in the middle of the night.

I knew he was hurting - and I also knew he wasn't letting me help him.

Part of me wondered that maybe he hadn't been with his mom every single night - I knew the other night when we were fighting his mom didn't need me, he just didn't want to talk to me anymore - even if he wouldn't admit it.

Hopefully I could get something out of him tonight...that he'd be open with me...but maybe not.

I think he was shutting me out...with everyone else again - but I wouldn't really be surprised if it was just me.


I sighed, wiping my eyes and gathered my books, walking over to the door and started for the walk home.

___________________________________

*Justin*

"I'm back!" I called, shutting the front door behind me and tucked my keys back in my pocket, walking into the living room where Mom was curled in the corner of the couch with a blanket. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm ok right now." She weakly smiled at me, slowly sitting herself out. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," I nodded, sitting down beside her. "What's up?"

"How are you? What's going on?" She took my hand, making sure she had my attention.

"What do you mean? I'm fine."

"Justin, I'm your mother. You've been awfully quiet lately. Is everything with you and Bella ok?"

"Yeah, I think so. It's just weird, with her being there and me being here...I mean I think she's fine - but I miss her."

"You know she misses you too - and I'm sure it's been just as hard for her."

"I don't know..." I trailed off, looking down away from her gaze. "I found out a few days ago that Hunter's going into the army - he leaves to start training in two weeks actually...and I was going to call her about it, but she beat me to it and told me about this gig she got that's in a few weeks. She was so happy - and I wasn't - but I'm happy for her. I couldn't really tell her like that...but I did, and I felt really bad for bringing her down like that. I didn't go much into it because she was so excited."

"She's there for you to talk to though. Closing her out emotionally could honestly hurt your relationship with her - especially with her not being home."

"I'm trying, it's just hard. I don't want to bring her down like that."

"Sometimes though, it's exactly what you need to be brought back up again."

"Mom, do you think you're going to be ok?"

"I don't know Justin." She whispered, this time taking her turn to look down. "I thought in the beginning I could give you a solid answer, but it was wrong of me to do that to you. I know you probabl don't want to hear it, but if something happens to me, you have to open up to Bella. She's what has brought you back to me, you've become such a wonderful man, and I want you to know that. I love you so much, and I'm proud to call you my son." Her hand caresed my cheek, tears falling off her lashes. "I know with your father and I - I can tell that you're afraid to love Bella with your whole heart. Don't be. Love fearlessly. Remember that just because you have the girl now doesn't mean she doesn't need the same attention she did in the begin so you won her over, and she wants to be let in."

"I've always had trouble with that, haven't I?" I asked, looking up for the first time in a while.

"No...not until things started changing around here. I watched you slowly build walls - but it's ok to have walls, as long as you have a door."

"Sometimes I don't know where my door is."

"Well maybe it's locked, but you have a key in there somewhere...I just don't think you've given it to Bella yet. Once you permanently do, I know it'll always be open."

"I haven't figured out how to do that yet."

"You will, it's just one of love's many lessons."

"I guess it is."

"I know that when you've been with me, before I came back here, you've been going out, haven't you?"

My head snapped up, widened eyes to see her reaction to that.

"Mom, I-"

"You're an adult. I want you to live your life, just remember Bella. She doesn't know, correct?"

"No." I whispered, ashamed to even look her in the eye now.

"I thought so. Don't turn back Justin. Not when you've come so far. Promise me that. If I go-"

"Mom-"

"Promise me Justin. Anything but that."

"I promise." I closed my eyes, leaning forward and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I love you Mom."

"I love you too Justin."

____________

*Bella*

6:36 PM

I walked out of Forever 21 in Times Square, hugging the sweater I wore to me and weaved between people.

I had only dropped off a resume - I needed a job. This was New York for crying out loud - and occasionally when Justin came up I wanted to treat him to something. As much as my father loved taking care of me - yes, that was sarcasm - I wanted to provide for myself. I wanted to struggle a little - that's part of being a musician in my mind. I wanted to do this by myself, and I would.

It was dark out now, and I had never really walked the streets of New York by myself like this, and even when I had, whether it was dinner or a movie like last week, I was with Justin. Walking in the dark with him wasn't a big deal.

I was safe with him.

Alone? That's a different story. I knew what was out here, I've seen it. I just wanted to get home and make something for myself to eat, finish up some things for school, talk to Justin, and sleep.

I walked a little faster - although I wasn't as brave as some when they J-walked across the street. Sure it's New York, but I'd be the klutz that went at the wrong time, so no thank you.

Unfortunatley, I didn't live in the inner city, but I didn't live in the outer city either. I was right in the middle, which was probably the best place to live.

The outer city was where the real danger was, and I didn't dare step in that direction.

Since I've been here, I've learned that if you pretend you don't hear them and you just keep walking - they leave you alone.

My pace had quickened from my thoughts alone, keeping an eye out for streets, but maybe there was a way to get home faster...

I thought about it in my head, going down to 8th instead of continuing on 34th.

It should get me home quicker.

And after walking for a while, I looked around me, noticing that the amount of people had thinned out, and I wasn't on a familiar route for home.

Shit. Somewhere along the way I made a wrong turn. Now where was I? My apartment is on 49th and 10th...so I'm not-

"Hey yo, come check this out."

I held my breath, not knowing where the voice was coming from and quickly crossed the street.

"Hey now, there is no need to be running away like that, are you lost?"

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

I shouldn'e have looked back, but I did, and in doing that I bumped into someone else, making me stumble, I could feel myself shaking, and when I looked up, a breath of relief escaped my lips.

"Isabelle? What are you doing here?" Trent asked, his hands placed on my shoulders as I heard footsteps behind us.

"I-I was just trying to take a short cut home and-"

"Get out of here." He had let go of me, talking to the two men that I know had planned on following me.

I didn't even see him do anything, but they cowered, turning around the way they had come.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, looking down at the ground.

"Come on, I'll walk you home. After that I'm not letting you walk through here by yourself. If your boyfriend found out I did that he'd kill me."

"Probably." I mumbled, a little twinge of guilt forming in my stomach after I said that. "Look, I'm sorry about Friday...Justin, he can-"

"No, it's ok, don't worry about it. If you were my girlfriend I would have done the same thing."

"You've barely talked to me all week."

"Well after that I thought maybe you'd want some space."

"I'm allowed to have guy friends. Just like he can have girl friends."

"You can't honestly tell me you'd be ok with him hanging out with another girl." He looked down at me, raising an eyebrow.

"Alright, I wouldn't be, but I don't even really know what he's been up to lately. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If you were on the phone with your girlfriend fighting, you're mad at her and she's mad at you, mid-sentence you tell her your mom needs you and you hang up. Does your mom really need you, or are you just telling her that because you don't want to talk to her anymore?"

"It depends, what were you guys fighting about?"

"...I told him he was jealous because I had gone around the city with you, and he was mad that I hadn't gone with him...and when I was trying to talk it out with him, he said his mom needed him, and he hung up."

"No, his mom didn't need him." Trent shook his head, both of us stopping at the end of the street. "He was mad."

"I thought so." I whispered, fixing my bag on my shoulder.

"Why, are you guys still fighting?"

"Not really, no." I shook my head, crossing the street with him. "I was just suspicious about it, and it's been bothering me. I thought that's what it was."

"We get like that when we're mad, and it's stupid of us, but think of the things that could have been said if he wouldn't have hung up. It could have been a lot worse."

"I guess so...he's just been - distant lately."

"Well I mean you did tell me his mom has cancer, that's tough on anyone."

"His best friend is leaving for the army soon too, and I'm here. I think he's feeling alone, like he used to. He was a big party guy, and I will admit I've been to couple of those, but it wasn't something I turned to."

"My dad was an alcoholic, so I stayed away from the stuff, but I've seen it. It takes over you - it makes you do stupid things."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"You think that's why he's being distant?"

"No," I shook my head, looking forward as we went down another street. "If he was doing that again I'd be able to tell. He acted a certain way - I don't know. I've tried to talk to him about things, but I don't want to push him into telling me and make him upset. He's complicated."

"We kind of all are." He chuckled, looking at me from the side. "But we're not all bad."

"Yeah, I know." I smiled at him, looking up and saw my apartment building. "Well this is me. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"We can go get that coffee if you want? As friends of course."

"Sure, I'd like that."
"Tomorrow? After class?"

"Yeah, alright."

"Goodnight Trent."

"Goodnight Isabelle."


I walked up the stairs, opening the door to me building and shivered a little, happy to be inside.

My music would probably have to wait...I still had homework to do, dinner to make, and my nightly phone call with Justin.

I'd either have popcorn or Ramen noodles for dinner...that's what my meals consisted of when Justin wasn't around. I'm a musician on a budget. On a dwindling budget.

Justin would kill me if he found out that was what I ate every night, but oh well.

I walked up the stairs, digging for my keys in my bag, finally raching my floor and unlocked the door, letting my bag slip from my shoulder onto the counter when I walked inside. I wanted to lay down - to sleep. My psycology homework wouldn't be that bad.

I had time for a nice hot shower, popcorn, and then I could do my homeowrk while I waited for Justin to call, or maybe I could call him.

I'd figure it out later.

__________________

*Justin*

9:47 PM

"How was your day?" I asked Bella, holding my phone to my ear while I allowed myself to be curled up in blankets.

"It was good, yours?"

"It was good. I took Jazzy to school."

"You did? Was she ok?"

"More than ok," I chortled with an eye roll. "I got a quick hug with a kiss on the cheek before she ran off."

"At least she likes going. Oh how it would be nice to enjoy that again. I applied for some jobs today."

"Where?"

"Forever 21, American Eagle, Sephora...mainly stuff in Times Square. I need a job."

"You'll find one. Don't worry yourself too much. You have that gig coming up."

"That money won't last forever. It's just aggravating."

"Well, I love you, and everything will work out. You're meant to be there. Don't stress out too much about it."

"I love you too. Where did that come from?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know... Forget I asked that."

"You know I'm happy you're there, right? Yeah I miss you, but I just want you to be happy, and I don't think I've made you feel that way lately."

"Aw, Justin. That's so sweet."

"I'm trying." I admitted sheepishly, turning on my side. "My mom finds out next weekend if the cancer's gone."

"Are you gonna go?"

"Yeah I think so, do you mind?"

"No, not at all. She needs you."

"Hmmm I love you." I hummed, closing my eyes due to sleep.

"I love you too. Tired?" She giggled, making a smile curl along my lips.

"A little, but not too tired that I can't talk to you. What did you do today besides job hunting?"

"Not a lot actually. I ended up staying after school writing music for a bit, I went home, did a little homework, then headed into Times Square. I got a little lost on the way home, but I made out ok."

"How did you get lost?"

"I tried to take a short cut home- and I got turned around."

"God Bella, be careful. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"As long as you got home ok, that's all I care about."

"I did, in just enough time to do all of homework."

"I'm not surprised."

"I have a test on Friday. I'm freaking out."

"Oh stop, you'll be fine. You always are."

"I still feel so busy. I have to finish my piano piece too and record it."

"Piano piece?" I raised an eyebrow, smirking a little.

"Yeah, I was having trouble with lyrics, so Jess suggested I just go the piano route."

"Jess is a girl, right?"

"Yes, don't worry. I've made more friends then Trent."

"That's not what I said." I frowned, all sense of a smile fading from my face.

"I know, sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. Am I still allowed to make you dinner this weekend?"

"Yes, I'm excited. What are you making?"

"I'm not telling you." I cooed, grinning again. "I'll be at your apartment before you're even home."

"Thanks for telling me so I don't have a heart attack when I open the door."

"You honestly probably still will."

"Shut up." She laughed- it was contagious. I loved that.

"I want you to live your life, just remember Bella." Those words had been running through my head all day, and I knew she was right.

I was heading right in the direction I had already come from.

___________

MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS! Please comment and continue to share this! It's so close to 200K! THANKS!