Tempted (#Wattys2015)

Tempted:54:

Ok, so you guys know I usually don't post things before chapters, but there are some songs you should listen to before you start reading - or if you have them on your ipod, listen to them while you read.

Breathe - Sara Barellies
Beside You - Marianas Trench
I Swear This Time I Mean It - Mayday Parade
Say Something - A Great Big World (ft. Christina Aguilera)

If anybody else has any other ones post them in the comments :)

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*Justin*
10:43 PM

I groaned, rubbing my eyes and pushed myself up, looking down at my clothes - they were the same ones I was in yesterday.

Oh god...last night...Bella...my Bella...

"No," I shook my head violently, tugging at the ends of my hair. "No..."

I felt like I was going to be sick.

It had to be a nightmare...a huge mistake...

It couldn't be real...

I reached for my phone, quickly dialing Bella's number and waited for her to pick up.

It rang twice, and I sucked in my breath, ready to hear her voice.

"Bella?"

Then I heard complete silence, and I pulled back the phone, watching the screen change back to the home screen.

She hung up on me.

"No, Bella..."

I couldn't breathe. It was real...it all really happened.

She hates me.

She should hate me. I don't even remember her face when she saw.

I promised that I would never break her heart...that I wouldn't leave her...I told her I loved her...she didn't have any reason to believe me right now.

I turned my head, looking at the little black box on my bed side and reached for it, opening it up and looked at the ring.

She was going to love it...she was supposed to...

It was rose gold...for her middle name...it was a bow with diamonds in it...and I got our names engraved on the inside.

I'd give it to her anyway. She'd have to talk to me eventually...even if I had to leave the box outside her room I would.

I did love her...I can't lose her...she's my everything...she's the love of my life...and she had no reason to believe that right now.

I was supposed to stop before I hurt her...

We were supposed to go skating for Christmas. We were supposed to cuddle and watch movies until we fell asleep.

Now I've fucking screwed everything up.

I fell back onto my bed, hugging my pillow to my face and cried.

I hated myself. I could not live without her. It wasn't physically possible.

God she was probably crying so hard right now. I've completely broken her heart and I told myself I would never do that...Bella...

I never meant to start using drugs again. We were supposed to be happy.

She saw me lying to her, she saw Angela taking me home and made assumptions that I was actually letting her stay, that we were hooking up.

No one has ever slept in my bed before besides Bella. She's the only girl...God she's the only one I wanted.