Tempted (#Wattys2015)

Tempted:62:

*Bella*

I don't think a week had ever gone by so fast in my life.

Now I stood outside of NYU...looking at what remained of the building.

Justin came down for one day - and that was because we had that basketball game. He almost didn't come because of packing, but Pattie ended up convincing him, and it would be our last date in New York.

He seemed off, but I couldn't really ask why, I just wanted us to have a good time - we both just had so much on our minds I don't know if he did - I thought I did, I don't know.

What if we left everything behind and we ended up breaking up? What if he regretted it in the long run and blamed me for everything, or what if I did that to him?

He left in the morning...and then my dad, brother and I went right back to packing.

I didn't want to feel that distance again.

I just kept trying to tell myself it was because we were so busy, and we were both going through a pretty dramatic change.

I tried not to bother him, to prove that I trusted him again - yes it had been a little over two weeks, but I think he earned my trust back when he saved me, and when he sat in that chair beside me and cried. I'll never forget the things he said.

Looking at the school since the explosion happened...I didn't know what to think.

There were so many flowers that covered the sidewalks, pictures, notes.

And none of these people would have died if I wouldn't have gone to this school.

No one would ever know I was the one that was meant to die.

Was that selfish?

There was rubble everywhere - a window was broken off into the side, and I don't know if that was from the fire, or from firemen trying to get into the building.

I wonder how long it would take them to rebuild this place...

Dad and Josh had already started back for home with a bunch of my stuff and the U-haul, but I wanted to take a minute to stop here.

I hadn't been here since the day of the explosion, and then I was barely concious- I wasn't concious.

I turned around before I broke down in front of people, quickly piling into my car and drove away.

There was no way I could go back to school here and face everyone everyday.

Today I'd be home, I was spending most of it with Jackie, and then Justin and I left in the morning. Yesterday I had been with Jess and Rachel, which was full of lots of tears, and we know a lot of them were from me, but they both cried a lot too.

I told them everything yesterday - I couldn't keep the secret from them too, not when they had done so much for me, and I didn't want to lose the friendship I had with them. I'd stay in touch...I promised I would.

I knew this was going to be hard, but i never imagined it would be like this.

Now I had to go home, and leave all the good and bad memories behind.

_________________

*Justin*
7:49 PM

I sighed, looking around the apartment, the emptiness a foreign feeling - well not really I guess, it looked like it did when I got the place, although I had swapped out a lot of the furniture later when I had all that money.

Tomorrow Bella and I were leaving to make our way across the country. I had planned out some places for her and I to stop - because odds are we'd never get to do that again, and I know she wanted to travel, so that's exactly what we were going to do.