Tempted (#Wattys2015)

Tempted:44:

*Justin*

12:24 AM

I couldn't sleep. I knew I was more upset than I was letting on with her...I wasn't mad...I just...I don't know.

I knew that obviously she wanted to go if she brought it up. I knew she probably wouldn't have told me if nothing would have happened - because she was afraid of me being mad, and I would have been.

But if it wasn't for feeling guilty...would she have honestly pulled away?

God he wanted that. It wasn't like Troy where I knew that she didn't want anything to do with him...I knew she wanted to be friends with Trent...I knew he was here and I wasn't.

He was trying to take her from me...and a few months ago I would have said there wouldn't be a fight to win, because I knew that she was happy...and I wasn't as insecure with her being by me than I am now with her here.

I think she knew that, sure we had maybe talked about it once or twice, but that's only something I admitted internally.

I was afraid of her running to him, I was afraid of losing her...and I had doubts about myself.

I slowly slid out from beside her, grabbing a sweatshirt from my bag and slid on my jeans, watching closely every few seconds to make sure Bella didn't wake up. I managed to find my shoes in the dark, grabbing a pair of socks too and slid them on.

I needed air.

I grabbed my keys and wallet, lifting up my good and went over to the door, locking it behind me and let it click softly shut.

I'd be back, I just wanted to think, to clear my head.


I needed her to be mine, to stay mine. The fact that I was so worried about us was insulting to her, and she definitely didn't know how worried I was.

She'd been honest with me. She had planned on telling me right away, and she didn't want to do it over the phone.

I knew if she would have I would have hung up, I would have assumed the worst, and that might have been the end of it for us.

God if only I could tell her the truth like that. It'd make everything so much easier.

I was craving a cigarette. I needed one, just one. That wasn't going to hurt, and Bella wouldn't know.

Just like she didn't know about anything else.

I went down the stairs and pushed the door open, walking out into the fall air and shoved my hands in the pocket of my sweatshirt.

I wanted to kill him. I knew what he was doing. The fucking asshole had to find his own girlfriend. There wasn't anyway I wasn't hitting him on Monday.

But I'd have to wait until they were out of school. Until he left the building to confront him.

No, I'd have to play this out smart. If I got caught I could get in a lot of trouble, Bella could get in trouble...I didn't need to get arrested in New York City.

There was a Rite Aid right down the street - they'd have cigarettes.

If she could kiss him, I could have a cigarette.

I went straight to it too, pulling off my hood as I went inside and ran my hand through my hair.

"Um, just a box of the Marlboro - light." I got my wallet, holding out my ID, because I knew they'd ask for it, and grabbed myself a lighter - since I didn't have that anymore either.

I'd have to hide it. And the box.

Then I paid, walking out the same way and tore the clear packaging from the box, shoving it in my pocket and flipped open the lid, placing a cigarette between my lips and held up the lighter, no longer thinking twice about what I was doing.

There went my muscles - if it was weed my head would have relaxed a bit too, but that wasn't happening here. I could get away with this.

I went straight to Central Park.

I liked it there, it was quiet, where I could think without bothering anyone...I'd have to be quiet going back inside too.

We had ended up skipping the club tonight, instead we just walked around the city...hand in hand...we barely said a word...and I knew that's because I was thinking then...she was too...we were both upset, and later on she had fallen asleep on the couch beside me, so I moved her over into bed, holding her close for a while until I got up a few minutes ago.

He just can't win.

_________________________

*Bella*
1:49 AM

"Justin?" I asked, feeling the weight shift beside me and blinking me eyes open, turning my head to see Justin scooting back in bed.

"Go back to sleep, you weren't supposed to wake up."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He nodded, and I sat up, waiting for him to lay down and scooted myself closer, smiling as he opened an arm to me and I laid my head on his chest.

"You're cold. Were you outside?"

"I went for a walk. I couldn't sleep."

"I'm sorry." I whispered, tracing patterns with my finger on his chest.

"It's ok. I'm quite used to it- well I used to be."

"I love you." I told him, placing a chaste kiss to his chest, feeling his hand overlap mine to take it into his own.

"I love you too...sleep."

"I'm not that tired anymore." I looked up, getting a peck to the lips, his hand moving back and forth along my arm.

"Stubborn."

"Shut up." I giggled, shivering and slipped, one of my legs in with his, entangling them together.

"Cold?"

"Yes." I nodded quickly, letting go of his hand and to slid them around his neck.

"Typical." He chuckled, moving his hands along my back and kissed the side of my head.

"You're ok right?"

"Yeah, I'm ok."

"Are you still staying until Tuesday morning?"

"Yes. I'm gonna talk to him."

"Justins...I don't think your last conversation went so well."

"I'm talking to him Bella. It's probably best if you're not there."

"But-"

"I mean it. After all of this - I'm talking to him."

"Ok." I whispered, knowing it wasn't really worth arguing over...I owed him that much.

"Go to sleep." He whispered back, kissing the side of my head.

I closed my eyes, fighting off my trembling lip and held onto him tighter.

I knew Monday wasn't going to end well.


_______________________

Monday:
3:49 PM

The rest of our weekend had gone by a little slowly...it felt like our conversations got shorter...his laughter had faded quicker...I don't know, maybe it was just me.

My eyes fround Trent across the room, and I quickly looked away again, burying my head back in the music journal I had.

God I didn't want to be here, and class was over in 15 minutes. I knew Justin was probably already outside with the car...he was waiting.

I wanted to throw up.

"Hey, Izzy?" Jess asked, slipping in the chair beside me. "I'm gonna have a Halloween party at my house. Would you want to come?"

"Yeah, sure." I smiled at her, nodding my head. "When are you going to have it?"

"Two weeks, on a Saturday night I think. I can text you my address and stuff - and it's costumes - you can bring your boyfriend too."

"Alright, cool. I'll let you know. I'm waiting to hear back from a few places about a job...so..."

"Where?"

"I applied at a lot of the stores in Times Square...I was gonna call when Justin left tomorrow."

"I work at Forever 21, it's not so bad. It's actually kind of fun."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll do my best to put in a good word for you. I know what it's like to need a job in New York City."

"Thank you so much." My smile widened, finally sitting my pencil down and shut my journal.

"You're welcome. We should go out some time after school together. That'd be fun."

"Yeah, I'd like that. You could come over to my place one time."

"Sure, that'd be awesome."

"I actually have my first gig next weekend - it's at this fancy bar by my apartment. I can't remember the name of it off the top of my head...but I can text you the address."

"Here's my number, you can text me later when we get out of here."

"I will." I smiled at her, looking up as our professor gave us the signal we could leave, and hugged the journal to my chest.

"Do you know what you're singing yet?"

"No," I asked, breaking my gaze from hers for a moment as I caught Trent's eye, but he looked away, walking out of the room. "I have to figure that out this week. I have some originals I could do, and then some rearranged pieces. I just need enough for a half hour set."

"I really want to hear you sing...I've barely heard anyone in this room."

"Same...when we hang out we can have a jam session." I laughed, suddenly feeling nervous again. I really wanted to stay and talk to her, but I was so afraid of what could be happening outside any moment now.

"Are you busy this weekend?"

"No actually..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "Justin's not coming because his Mom has a doctors appointment...but even if you wanted to go get some Starbucks too this week that works. You could come over Friday night, Saturday, whatever you wanted."

"Yeah, that sounds like fun. We can definitely do something...and I'm not meaning to pry here..but did something happen with you and Trent?"

"Um, yeah...we can talk about that when we go and get coffee, Justin's leaving in the morning...he's actually outside right now...so I should probably go...before either one of them ends up with a black eye."

"Oh god." Her eyes widened, and she nodded her head, while I scooped up the rest of my stuff, slipping it in my bag. "Good luck."

"Thanks, I need it." I mumbled, quickly skidding out of the room and down the hall, finding my way out of the building and quickly looked around to find both of them.


And in that instant I heard them, and I turned my head, seeing Justin on the ground wiping his bottom lip, kicking Trent from the back of his legs and onto the ground.

Oh god. I saw blood. They'd been going at it longer than I thought. And they could get caught at any moment.

"Stop it!" I ran over to them, literally tho ring myself between them, because I knew if I did that the punches would stop - well at least I hoped.

"Bella, stand back." Justin told me from behind while I lifted my eyes up from the ground, turning to look at him - his hair was all floppy - and cute.

But now was not the time to be thinking about how cute he was.

"No, let's go home, please? You said you weren't going to fight."

"I never said that, I just said I wouldn't hit him first." He said through his teeth, his lip doing that little thing where the side of it curled upwards.

God, I shouldn't find that attractive.

But I turned to look at Trent after that comment, and he wouldn't look at me.


"Let's go home, please? It's not worth it."

"I swear to fucking god," Justin tugged me closer to him, but he was looking at Trent. I knew it, and because of that I kept my eyes down. "Just stay away."

Justin picked up my bag, gently handing it to me my bag and put his arm around my waist, leading me over to the car.

"Did you guys talk at all?"

"A little." He mumbled, tightening the grip he had on my hip.

"Let me see." I took his chin between my thumb and forefinger, part of his jaw swollen and his lip cut open, still bleeding. "I'm sorry."

"No, it actually felt good fighting for something, you know, not illegal."

"We can clean up when we get home." I stood up on my tiptoes, lightly kissing the spot where the punch had landed and squeezed his hands.

"Here," He let go of one, opening up the passenger side door and helped me in, shutting it after me and I sat my stuff down, sighing right before he opened the door and buckled my seatbelt.

The drive home was quiet, but he had reached over and slipped his hand on my leg. That made me smile a little, his thumb moving in circles. I looked up a few times to see if his expression had changed, but every time it was the same. He was thinking.

I got out if the car pretty quickly when he parked, walking to the other side and gladly took the hand he held out, holding onto it with both of mine and my bag on my shoulder.


He opened the door when we got to the complex, holding it out for me, and we started up the stairs to my room, still not saying a word.

I got my keys out from a little pocket on the side as we walked through the hall, unlocking the door to my room and sat down my bag, taking his hand and pulled him into the bathroom, going under the sink for a rag.

"Stay here." I told him, watching as he pulled off his jacket and went to the kitchen, grabbing a sandwich bag and filled it up with ice, wrapping a hand towel around it before going back to the bathroom and held it gently against his jaw, watching him suck in his breath slightly and reached down for his hand, replacing it with mine in the ice.

"You know," My voice came out as a whisper, wringing out the rag I had warmed up and went in front of him, tilting up his chin again. "I always hated it when you came back all beaten up the way you did, but a part of me really did miss taking care of you like this."

"A part of me missed it too. That's why I'm letting you do it instead of me just applying pressure and calling it a day. It's not that bad."

"Compared to some of the things you've come back with, no it's not."

"I wouldn't have hit him back if he didn't hit me."

"What did you say that got him to hit you?"

"What did I say? Barely anything. It's not important."

I sat the rag down by the sink, and after I did that he pulled me down on his lap, both hands on the backs of my thighs while mine had caught his neck.

"Why do you do that?" I groaned, letting my fingers comb through the back of his hair, my eyes flickering between his and his lips a couple of inches away.

"Because it distracts you."

"Do you honestly think I'm distracted?"

"I mean, I'd say so." He nodded, brushing my hair off my shoulder and kept his hand on my neck, leaning himself close enough so if one of us were to talk they'd touch.

"Is it really that hard to just kiss me?"

That what he did, giving a tug on my hip, my arms wrapping tighter around his neck.

This reminded me of when we ran away...and he pulled me down just llike this, and we made out for a while.

Now we were in the bathroom of my apartment.


I kissed him back harder, letting go of his neck and ran my hands down his arms, taking my time to feel his muscles, his hands taking their turn to fall from my neck and hip and press themselves into my back, holding me closer - which didn't even seem possible.


EI racked my fingers through his hair once more pulling at the ends earning a low growl from him.

Oh god..I know where this is going.

I know this won't solve our problems but right now I just need him and he needs me.

I didn't really even know what I was doing honestly, he tugged again, and I moaned into him, his hands slipping up my back.

His kisses were slow, feverish...he didn't have to do all the tugging.

"Fuck Bella. What are you doing to me?" He whispered, sliding his hands back down to my hips.

He grunted in frustration and picked me up by my legs. I was already half way there and I'm in jeans.

Dammit. I picked such a bad day to wear skinny jeans.

Well, we all know how quickly those were ripped off once the sheets were under me, his lips pressing softly against the skin of my stomach.

I couldn't take it. He knew that. That's why he was doing it.

And when his lips made it to my neck, I gently pulled his chin up, meeting his lips again and let my hands meet the muscles of his back, running my nails back and forth, earning a slight groan from him

"I love you, my Bella." He whispered against my lips, and between the both of us and my eagerness, everything else we had been semi-wearing was gone too.

I moaned in response as I felt him enter me slowly. "Justin." I almost whispered. I could barely talk as the pleasure consumed my body.


"Holy fuck" he groaned. My hands traced down his hot skin, pulling, scratching.


I hit my high the same time as him. With one last groan he calapsed ontop of me. "My Bella." He horsily whispered in my ear.

"I love you." I turned my head, catching his lips in mine again, letting my hands rest on his sides.

"I love you too." There it was, a smile, a smile I had been aching to see since Friday.

And we laid there for a few minutes, soon curled up in the covers with me in arms, resting my head against his chest.

"You haven't said anything to Trent about Manny, have you?" Justin asked, running his hand up and down my back.

"Why?"

"He said something to me..."

"He what?!" I sat up, holding up the sheet to keep me covered.

"I don't know how he knew....that's what I thought too."

"Justin...I..."

"You did say something, didn't you?"

"It just kinda happened, we were talking, I was scared the one night when I got lost...I was shaking...I just told him why-"

"Bella! Manny is still out there! You can't go telling people those things! I told you that from the beginning!"

"I just...I was just trying to get him to understand."

"He doesn't need to Bella! I'm the only one that needs to understand!"

"You do, I know that, I was just explaining...I didn't really think-"

"That's the problem! You didn't think! He said something to me, what if he says something to other people? The wrong kind of people?"

"I don't know...I'm sorry." I was still whispering, not wanting to fight back about something like this.

I looked at him, now wearing basketball shorts over his boxers, taking a deep breath while running his hand through his hair.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, grabbing his shirt from the floor and pulled it over my head, walking in front of him and stopped his pace by putting my hands on his abs.

"Just stay away from him, please just stay away."

"I will, I told you I would, I promise." I nodded my head, sliding my hands up around his neck and pecked his lips. "I made a mistake...Are we ok?"

"Yeah, we're ok." He nodded, moving his hands along my sides. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's ok. You have a reason to be mad at me. I'd be mad too."

"He's still out there, that's why. I don't want to lose you. I can't."

"You won't." I whispered, looking up at him again, closing my eyes when he leaed down enough to touch our foreheads together.

"Please be careful...I'm not around everyday anymore like I wish I was...I-"

"I know, but it's ok. It's a learning process for me."

"You and me both."

"I love you."

"I love you too Bella." He softly kissed me, a weak smile along his lips.

"Can we get dressed and go to the grocery store? I thought maybe I could get some cooking lessons."

"From who?" He smirked, slightly tilting his head.

"I don't know...somebody was over Friday night and they made me a really good dinner..."

"Hmmm...do I have to beat him up too?"

"No! No more violence!" That made me laugh a little actually, and he laughed too, a real laugh.

"Alright, come on, get dressed. I'll help you."

"Yay."

I suggested that mainly because I didn't want him to see my pantry basically consisted of popcorn, ramen noodles, and cereal.

Plus I thought it would be fun...

*Justin*

Next Day:
2:39 PM

"Hey, I'm home." I said, opening up the door and heard the familiar feet of Jazzy, running up to me for a hug, and I picked her up, kissing her cheek. "Miss me?"

"Of course I did. What happened? How'd you get a boo boo?"

"Somebody was being mean to Bella, so I had to take care of it."

"Here," She kissed the bruise lightly, grinning up at me. "All better."

"Thank you." I chuckled, sitting her down and walked through the hall to find Jaxon of course in the kitchen, and Mom was in the living room.

"What the heck happened now?" Jaxon asked me, and I widened my eyes at him, knowing Mom was only a few feet away.

"Jaxon!"

"What do you mean what happened?" Mom called, and I glared at him, watching as he shrugged back.

"It's nothing Mom."

"Justin..." Well, I wasn't getting away with this one.

I turned around, shoving my hands in my pockets and shrugged like Jaxon had.

"Justin!"

"What?! Somebody kissed Bella - that's why I didn't come back Sunday. I went to talk to him yesterday, talk, and he hit me first. It's not like I started anything or went looking for trouble. That's all I want to get into." I mumbled the last part, snatching the bag of chips from Jaxon's hand and grabbed one for myself, popping it in my mouth.

"You got him back pretty good, right?" Jaxon asked, now earning a smirk back from me before he snatched the chips back.

"Jaxon!"

"Yeah, I did."

"You are both unbelievable."

"Oh come on Mom,' I went over to her, kissing her forehead. "It could have been much worse."

"Stay out of trouble, I mean it!"

"I am, I am...I really have homework to do."

"Dork."

"Shut up." I playfully punched him, once again taking the chip bag. "Do you want to hear details or not?"

"About a fight? Um, duh."

"Come on. I'll race you." I sat the chips down, running through thet hall and heard a 'Boys!' yelled from the hallway.

It felt good to be in this house again.

________________________________

*Bella*
Wednesday

9:49 AM

I walked through the hall, leaving class and stepped off to the side to pull out a notebook I needed for my next class.

"Isabelle? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

My head snapped up, and I looked at Trent, trying to ignore the faint bruise on his face and sighed.

"That's probably not a good idea."

"I'm sorry I hit him first. He really was just talking...I was just mad."

"You kissed me, then you hit him. You've given him every reason not to like you."

"I really am sorry for hitting him like that, but I'm not sorry for kissing you. What would you have done if you weren't with him?"

"Trent, I can't do this." I went to walk away, but he stopped me, catching my arm to pull me back.

"I'm sorry. I understand that you love him, and I'm not going to push it, but we can at least be friends right?"

"I promised him I'd stay away...I'm sorry, but I don't want to ruin my relationship with him. I'm sorry, but I think that it would be best if we went out separate ways."

"You're going to let him control that? Really? Ruining our friendship?"

"I think you kinda did that. He's always going to come first. Always."

I had to walk away then - the last thing I wanted to do was hurt anybody - even though I knew I had done exactly that.

_______________________

*Justin*

Friday
3:12 PM

Today was the day. The day we had all been waiting for since we found out Mom had cancer.

As much as I wanted to pace around the room, Jaxon was already doing that for me, and Jazzy was placed on my lap, playing with my phone to keep her occupied.

"Hey Justin? Where's Bella?" She asked, looking up for a moment.

"She's in New York for school remember? You'll see her soon when she comes to visit."

"When's that?"

"Probably Thanksgiving time." I told her, kissing the side of her head.

"Oh my god, it's been an hour. How long does it take to figure it out?" Jaxon groaned, tugging at the ends of his hair.

"I'm sure they'll be out in a few minutes. Be patient."

"You're so one to talk about patience."

"Come on Jaxon, just chill out. Pacing like that isn't going to make them come out any faster."

But right as I said that the doors opened, and I sat Jazzy down, standing up beside Jaxon and looked at Dad as he came out with Mom behind him.

"Well?" I asked, feeling Jazzy's little hand take mine.

Oh no. Mom is crying...it's not gone...she still has it...maybe they told her how long she had...oh my god.

"It's gone. I'm in remission." Mom smiled, a few tears replacing the ones that had already fallen down her cheeks.

"Mom, that's amazing." I grinned, and the next thing I knew we were all hugging each other, crying together.

She was going to be ok.

"I'm going to have to go in for checkups every couple of months, and as long as the cancer doesn't come back, the appointments will get more and more spaced out."

"Congratulations Mom." I hugged her hard, kissing the side of her head. "I love you."

"I love you too Justin. Thank you for everything."

"Anything for you." I chuckled, pulling myself back and picked up Jazzy, leaning into her ear. "Give her a kiss."

She did, making Mom laugh - and Dad was by her side the whole time...I had to know what was going on with them.

"Do you want to go out to celebrate? Are you feeling up to it?" Dad asked her, moving his hand along her back.

"Yeah, let's go out. I haven't been out in a long time."

"Really?" Jaxon asked beside me, a smile curled along his lips.

"Yeah, really. Where do you guys want to go?"

"Mom, you just found out you're in remission. You're picking." I told her, kissing Jazzy's cheek afterwards.

"Fine, we're going to Applebee's."

"Applebee's? That's where we used to go whe-"

"I know." She nodded, Jaxon and I exchanging glances. "That's why I want to go."

"Alright, to the car!" Dad said - just the way he said when we were little.

"Yay." Jazzy smiled, hugging my neck in her arms.

"Are you excited?" I asked her, following behind the rest of them.

"Yes."

"Me too, Jazzy, me too."
_______________

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