Dalliance

Chapter Sixteen

"Is it not just magnificent?" Nicholas asked as him and Holly walked abreast down a dirt road with colorful flowers on either side of them. "They claim this is one of the places Gerard and Josephine would run to in order to be together-against their strict families." Holly could only bring herself to nod as her thoughts were cemented on Dawson. Her heart still ached from the words she had written to him-but she knew it had been the only way.

"You must make an effort for this to work..." He said to her with pleading eyes before pulling her forward. Picking a colorful flower from the end of the path, Nicholas wrapped his long pale fingers around the helpless stem before plucking it from its place. "Have you noticed how when you pick a flower, it only keeps vivacious for a short amount of time due to the fact you took it from what it has known?"

She nodded.

"You are much like a picked flower...dull and lifeless when you are not with familiarity."

"I have no family-" She quickly corrected her statement. "But Dawson left...I am fearful of losing him."

"Is that what distracts you now? Or is it something else?"

For a moment, she wanted to speak everything to him as he showed a genuine side to himself she had not seen before. But in fear of Dawson being hurt again, she just shook her head.

"I am merely attempting to see you as you have promised you will be..."

"Have I not shown that?"

"You have...but I am not certain if it is an act or your honest heart. You have shown this kindness once before...but it is always ceased abruptly...It is painful to see..." She confessed honestly as he squinted with intrigue in his expression.

"Why does it pain you?"

"Because I do know of your pain...you lost the thing closest to you when you were so young...it is quite tragic-"

"I am not a tragic tale!" He snapped.

"You are right...you are one of inspiration-when you show it...but you act as thought you are cruel and cold...I imagine you care for something-"

"You." He turned with little hesitation. "You drive a force in me that is the same drive that would create an army. I can protect you...I can give you everything you desire-yet, you pull from me as though you love someone else...Tell me now, if you do..."

"I loved someone when you and I were betrothed...it does not matter now...I am vowed to you."

"Even if it is by law, if not by emotion-it has no meaning."

Her gaze motioned to him. "It does not matter due to the fact that I am a married woman. You have been nothing but stoic and distant since we married...I do not wish to get to know you...And you forced me here...You cannot force love..."

She continued further up the path before hearing his footsteps follow behind. After several quiet minutes of walking, he slowly made his way towards her-directly at her side.

"You are correct..."

Her gaze fell to him in surprise.

"You will not debate me?"

"No. I have instructed you and demanded you...I have never just loved you..." His gaze fell to the ground. "I have never allowed you to be yourself with me...which is how, I suppose, you feel controlled. I can not explain how apologetic I am for that...but I cannot reverse time and I beg you allow me the chance to show you that I can be the man you desire. I can be your cover from the storm, your desire from the dull-even the greatest love you will know...I just ask for the opportunity..."

She hesitated. "What is it that you want exactly?"

"For us to start again. Act as though we are just married-as if we have ever only spoken a few words-as we are smitten with one another. Can you allow that?"

She looked to her feet before looking back to him.

"I do not know...I have not seen you serious of my feelings since our vows...I feel as though...as though I am all too conflicted...."

"I will allow you to think on it, but I beg you to allow me to know soon for I will go mad waiting. But I shall wait however long you desire."

She nodded before they made their way to their cottage. Sliding into her side of the bed, she clung tight to the stockings placed tightly upon her legs-the only thing she had from Dawson before drifting off to a rocky sleep.