I.O.U a fall

Chapter 20

Sherlock looked at the doctor and the doctor looked at Sherlock, the whole street was silent. to Sherlock it felt like time has stopped and everything lies on this moment right here. to the doctor it was the same as ever just another visit to earth to help someone in need, however this time it was different, this time it was the fate of the whole world he was dealing with and it all came up to this moment, this tiny moment in all of space and time Sherlock and the doctor were going to save John.

the doctor still didn't speak a word but then broke the eye contact that had been happening between the both of them all this time and Sherlock did the same. the doctor gave out a  sigh and looked to the ground.

the doctor " you know John , Sherlock you were the word to him and he gave his life to save yours and you just think he is your blogger!" the doctor still didn't look at Sherlock.

Sherlock " don't you there say that! DONT YOU DARE! John meant the world to me and I......" Sherlock took a moment the doctor still didn't look at him "....and I ........I never got to tell him that so don't you dare tell me he didn't mean anything to me ..........he was my everything and you took him away!!" Sherlock turned away in disgust he had never felt so much hatred in his life but then the feeling of hatred was overwhelmed by sadness and loneliness.

the doctor looked at Sherlock even thought Sherlock's back was turned he opened his mouth to speak but then closed it. 

the doctor " Sherlock have you ever just thought for one moment that John did all of this for you" the doctor told Sherlock, his voice was quiet and husky.

Sherlock " why would John die for me ..........I'm not important ....I'M A FREAK!" Sherlock turned to face the doctor his eyes were all watery and the doctor could see that Sherlock was fighting back tears.

  the doctor " out of the whole of space and time, Sherlock, I have never met someone who wasn't important even freaks like you" the doctor looked at the Sherlock his eyes too were watery and Sherlock after all of the years he was told that he wasn't important let a tear slide down his cheek.

there was a moment of silence and Sherlock had to look down he couldn't bare to look at the doctor after what he had just said there was only one more person in the whole time and space that had called Sherlock important and that was John and that broke Sherlock's heart.

the doctor jumped up a bit and took Sherlock by surprise, the doctor smiled and looked at Sherlock.

the doctor " right then I better be off, ya know places to be, worlds to save" the doctor turned around and opened the TARDIS' doors. Sherlock was so surprised to what just happened he was speechless.

Sherlock " OH SO IS THAT IT? YOUR JUST GOIGN TO LEAVE ME AFTER ALL OF THAT .........WHAT ABOUT JOHN???????" Sherlock shouted at the doctor as he stepped into the TARDIS. the doctor turned around.

the doctor " what .....what did you expect was going to happen?" the doctor walked back out of the TARDIS right up to Sherlock "hmmmm eh? did you think I was going to help you? you made your best friend in the whole universe die for you !!! why should I help you? yes I said you were important but that doesn't change a thing!!!! I am sorry, Sherlock I am so sorry but John is .........dead and there is nothing I can do to save him not like he did for you......not like the first time"

Sherloc juts stood there face to face with the doctor speechless for the second time in an hour, he couldn't believe what he was hearing the first time? Sherlock thought to himself.   

Sherlock "what do you mean the first time?" Sherlock whispered as he looked the doctor.

the doctor " I was here once before ......over a year ago now I think but I wasn't talking to you Sherlock, I was here with John. we were having the same conversation as we are having now .........but..........but I let him come with me." the doctors voice was so quiet.

Sherlock "what? how is this possible and where was I?" Sherlock was just as confused as ever.

the doctor " John was just like you Sherlock in pieces, he too was thinking why was he left to live and so many times, Sherlock .......so many times John thought of ending his life so he could be with you. don't you see John loved you" Sherlock moved back a little and took a deep breath, his eyes filled up with tears.

Sherlock " he loved me?......but how could he be with you, doctor .......John is dead"

the doctor "Sherlock you died ......that day on the top of St Barts hospital you died ...... John watched you as you fell on the ground and died. John saw everything and it tore him apart." the doctor looked at Sherlock then looked away.

Sherlock " no, no, no, no, I didn't jump .........I was going to but I didn't John pushed me out of the way"

the doctor " how could he Sherlock, you were on the phone to him moments before...you saw John on the ground." Sherlock had a flash back of John looking up at him on the rooftop but then he saw John jump how could this be? Sherlock thought to himself.

Sherlock " but John was on the roof top......... but he was on the ground how could he be in two places at once?" Sherlock fell to the ground he couldn't take it, it made no sense to him. the doctor came and sat next to him and patted Sherlock's back.

the doctor " you Sherlock ..you fell off the rooftop on to the ground right in front of John and it destroyed him, everyday he thought of you and it killed him to see you in a grave not by his side or even in the flat. so I gave him a choice. Sherlock don't you see what John did for you he sacrificed his life for yours. John thought that you were much more important than him so he made the choice to save your life. he thought that you would be better off and if he died you would just move on. that was the plan that John thought but no......you didn't move on and you went through the same as John did. the pain. the tears. all of it."

Sherlock " so John gave his life for mine ........but I was already dead." the doctor nodded " so cant you just bring John back like you did with me?" Sherlock's voice was quiet but it had a tiny bit of hope inside.

the doctor " ...........no I cant Sherlock I am so sorry you see your death is a fixed point in time and the only way I can unfix it is let some one take your place and fall of the building instead someone else had to die at that same moment ........and that someone was John" the doctor got up and walked back to the TARDIS, Sherlock sat there for a moment to let all of this sink in then he too got up and looked at the doctor.

Sherlock " why are you telling me all of this, if there is nothing you can do, haven't I suffered enough?" the doctor stopped but then shut the TARDIS doors and with that the doctor was gone and Sherlock was left alone again on the side of the road even more sad than ever.