Same Mistakes *sequel for D.D.*

Chapter 10

The last few day have been an utter hell for me. I can't seem to shake the feeling that my worst fear had come true. Louis never loved me. I was only a distraction for him until Eleanor came back. I don't know why I attacked her, but I was so angry that he left me for her and she was standing there and. Well you already know the rest.

At work, I can't even get my thoughts straight. I can't even pay attention to when Mr. Jennings is asking me a simple question. I haven't seen Noah since our kiss and I guess it's safe to say that it's best if he stays away from me. Everyone comes and goes, and the people who stay even when you're a mess. Those people are your true friends. Speaking of friends. Jasmine, had messed Niall up pretty bad. Unfortunately she left him for another star who was 'hotter' than Niall. I haven't talke to her since because I'm still upset about the fact that she'd do that to Niall. I made it clear to Madi that if she wanted to hang out with her, that's fine with me but she wasn't allowed to come over. I know it seems rude. But rude isn't half of what she did to Niall.

Madi and Harry have been inseparable. It's really cute and sometimes he'll spend the night. Nothing happens if that's what your thinking. They just sleep in the same bed. And even if they wanted to do 'that' I wouldn't want to be in the house for that. I can never talk to Madi about those thing because I was still a virgin. As sad as it sounds I wanted to wait for the right man and the right time. I wanted Louis to be mine, but I'm glad it never happened because I was always going to have to live with that regret that I gave him what he always wanted. It wasn't about accepting me as a person. It was only for the love and affection of that moment. It tore me apart, just thinking that after everything we've been through her just throw me away like that. I know it's hard for him to love me again. But it was worth the try. He probably thought it wasn't even worth trying.

I'm a waste of time.

Louis POV (OMG! FINALLY!!) \(*~*)/

Eleanor was slowly recovering and it pained me to see that I was the reason she got hurt. We both sat on the couch in the little room watching some show she liked

"Why didn't you fight back?" The question had been nagging me for the past few days.

"She was upset, I didn't want to cause more drama so I let her blow off some steam." She shrugs lightly.

"You didn't have too." "I know, Lou. But I choose too." She smiled warmly and hugs me softly.

"I love you El." I whisper into her brown locks that I've missed so much.

"I've missed you too, Lou." She responds sweetly.

"I'm going to get some rest. Why don't you go home and get some rest yourself, babe?"

"I think I may just do that. If you need anything remember to call me or a nurse." She grabs her things gives me a sweet kiss and leaves the dreadful room. I swiftly laid down on the slightly comfy bed and close my eyes.

"I love you, Louis." The girl throws her head back in laughter. Memories flood through my head of an unknown girl.

"Claire." The girl looked up at me

"Yes." I pecked him in the lips. He swallowed hard and looked at me

"I can't do this anymore."

"What?" She pulled away very confused

"I can't do this, like I can't be with you anymore. It's only going to tear us apart while I'm on tour. I won't be able to see you an I can't leave you waiting a whole year for me." I felt my world crumble and my heart slowly dying. My legs started to shake and I couldn't breathe.

"Louis, I can handle it. I swear. I'm not going to end up like Eleanor if that's what you mean."

"This has nothing to do with Eleanor! This is about us! This is about the fact that I'm not always going to be home, the fact that you will never be with me! I can't take your life away so in return I'm letting you go so that you can find someone else while I'm gone. You can learn to love them and forget about me." I couldn't feel any bone in my body. I started to shake and I felt cold and weak. I touched her cheek, but she slapped my hand away and stormed off. She ran over to the table grabbing her stuff and getting the heck out of this place!"

"I pulled off my shirt while she touched my chest. We were on a full make out session and I wanted to hold her even more. But as soon as the moment was getting heated, the doorbell rang."

"I love you, Claire." The words had been said so many times before but right now in this dream or reality. It felt like I didn't say it enough. I wasn't enough.

Her face was so beautiful and looked delicate, as if you touched it it'd break into a million pieces. Her eyes were blue like the sea and they were hypnotizing. The way she smiled made me want to smile every time. Her dimples would bring so much joy and her voice was as light as a feather. When she walked her steps were quiet and soft. Everything about her was soft and elegant. She was the definition of perfect.

My eyes burned as I opened them. The tears fell down my cheeks and it was the first emotion that I'd truly have expressed since the time, more like the second time that I broke Claire's heart. What I did was wrong. I know it was wrong. I've hurt her too much. The thing is, I can't stand to see her suffer anymore. So I did what I had to do. I let her go.