Teach Me

Chapter Four: Feelings

The rest of the week was one of the worst weeks of my life. Mr. Brown wouldn't even look at me during class, and when it was time for him to tutor me he didn't talk as much. His voice was always strained and his jaw was clenched, and he didn't joke or smile anymore. In a way it was better, because this was how it SHOULD be. He should be the authoritative figure, the adult, and I was meant to be the student. It hadn't been like that for the past few days, but now it was. It was all because of me and my stupid emotions, but still. This was how it should be, even though I hated it. Sometimes I thought he wanted to talk to me, to apologize, but he never said anything on that subject. Every time I left his class my heart would sink, knowing the same exact thing would happen tomorrow.    

This routine of Mr. Brown basically avoiding me continued on for a week and a half, until something embarrassing happened. It wasn't THAT embarrassing, but considering how I felt for him, it was more embarrassing than it should have been.    

It was right after school, and I was at my locker again, crying just like I did every day for the past week. My heart would always shatter when he avoided me, and I couldn't hold in the tears. I was biting my lip to hold back the loud sobs wanting to escape, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder. Judging by the tingles that ran down my spine, I had a pretty good guess who it was. I turned around and saw HIM. For the first time in days, he was looking in my eyes.  

"Alana-"  

"Leave me alone. You're my teacher, you don't need to follow me around everywhere." I said, my voice thick with tears. I was embarrassed for him to see me cry.   

"I don't care. Come with me." He said, grabbing my wrist and leading me towards his room.  He let us inside and locked the door, making me sit on his desk so that my legs were hanging off.  

"Look at me." He demanded. I glanced up at him and saw how hurt he looked.   

"I'm so sorry for what I said to you Alana. I didn't know it would affect you that much, and I know I've been acting like an ass for the past week." He said. I was shocked that he had cursed around a "student", but I didn't really care.   

"I'm sorry too." I said, my tears finally drying. I batted my eyes until the tears were completely gone, and then I looked up at him again. He sighed and a small smile appeared on his face, causing me to smile back.    

"I shouldn't have treated you wrong." He said, and I felt his warm hand curl around mine as he squeezed if gently. My heart skipped a beat and he bit his lip as he looked at the ground. He seemed to be considering something.   

"I've been wondering why you're so nervous around me, and I came up with a couple theories." He said slowly.  

"And?" I asked, suddenly scared.   

"Well, either you're completely anti-social since I never see you talk to anyone that much, or..." He glanced up at me, seeming a little guilty.  

"Or what?" I pressed, my heart beating so loudly I was sure he could hear it.  

"Or you like me too much to want to screw up anything while I'm watching." He mumbled quietly, his fingers playing with mine. I looked down at his hand and then back up at his face as he stared at me.   

"Did I guess close?" He wondered. I just nodded.   

"The first one?" He asked.   

"No." I muttered shyly.  

"The second one." He said, not really stating it as a question. I gave a slight nod and he sighed.   

"You like me." He said, almost as if he was talking to himself.