Teach Me

Chapter Sixteen: Guilt

"I will come over. I promise." I said, looking up into Chris' piercing brown eyes. I wanted to reach up, to touch his face, kiss him, hug him, anything. But I couldn't. Not here at least. And I hated it. He nodded and turned around, taking long strides down the hall until he reached the exit. I shook my head and followed his path, pulling out my phone and deleting all the messages to Blake. I couldn't risk anyone seeing this. No one could know that he was blackmailing me, because if anyone found out, I knew our deal was off and Chris would lose his job. However, senior year would be over in about two months, so that's how long I had to wait until Blake left me alone. Once I graduated, no one would care if I was with Chris. I wouldn't be one of his students anymore.

I made it out to the parking lot and then got in my car, starting it up and spotting Chris' car pulling out a few spots down. I followed his car out of the parking lot and then kept close behind him as he drove home. I still couldn't remember exactly how to get to his house yet.

Once we arrived at Chris' house I parked beside him in the garage and watched as the door closed. Chris got out of his car, a haunted look still in his eyes. He walked over to me and then led me into his house. We were once again greeted by his dogs, and he slipped off his jacket and shoes, letting them rest in the corner like he did last time. He sighed and walked over to the couch in the living room, motioning for me to sit with him. I walked over to him and he sat me on his lap, his arms wrapping protectively around my waist.

"So Lana, I noticed Blake was touching you-" I placed my finger to his lips, cutting him off as I spoke.

"I have no interest in Blake at all. This morning I walked up to him and asked him to keep me and you a secret, so he agreed without a problem. We were talking awhile and we just decided to become friends. I understand he took it a little too far this afternoon when you saw us but I was about to talk to him and tell him it was out of line. Trust me Chris." I said. I explained my story in a rush, not wanting to hesitate in any parts and give Chris a reason to not believe me. The truth was, that story was a complete lie, and I could tell that he was fully aware of it. I sighed in defeat as he took my face between his hands.

"Alana. Do you understand that you're mine?" He almost growled. I nodded and he rested his forehead against mine.

"I love you. Don't you return the feeling?" He questioned. I nodded quickly and his arms tightened around me.

"Alright then. That means you don't have to keep any secrets from me." He whispered. I sighed and closed my eyes briefly.

"Chris, this is just something I have to work out on my own. I will tell you when I'm ready. I already promised you that. But until then it's my problem. Okay?" I asked, touching his cheek lightly to get him to look at me. I could feel the short beard on his chin brush against my palm when he shook his head in confusion.

"Problem? Lana, if there's a problem in school you have to tell me about it. I can fix it easily." He assured me.

"This one is a problem that even you can't fix easily." I whispered. He tilted my chin up as I dropped my hand from his face.

"Lana. I won't let anything happen to you. If Blake does anything to you, or touches you, anything. Just tell me. Please." He begged, his eyes pleading with me.

"I will. I love you." I said, and he smiled, leaning in to kiss me deeply. I kissed him back for a few minutes before I remembered something. His tongue slipped between my lips and his hands wandered up my back beneath my shirt, but I broke away slightly and tucked my head in the crook of his neck, both of us breathing heavily as his hands continued to run up and down my back.

"Chris, last time you told me you would do something, but you forgot to do it." I reminded him.

"What was it?" He asked in a puzzled voice.

"I wanted you to show me a picture of you in high school." I teased with a chuckle.

"Oh yeah." He said, smirking as he got up and walked over to his staircase.

"Come on Lana." He said, and I got up and followed him upstairs. Once we got there he led us into his room and I saw that his bed was unmade and messy. I raised an eyebrow but didn't voice the matter, and I saw Chris get down on his stomach and reach under the bed. He brought out a dusty box and leaned away as he brushed some of the dust off. He took the top off the box and pulled some pieces of folded notebook paper out, sitting them on the ground before pulling out what looked like a yearbook. He smirked and opened it, flipping through pages until he found one page in particular. He handed me the book and I gazed at the page, finding what he was pointing to. It was a rather large picture of him, with the name "Christopher Brown" printed beneath it. In the picture he was smirking, and he looked similar to how he looked now, except he had less tattoos and his face looked a bit younger. His beard was gone and he looked a little happier than I saw him nowadays. But overall, he was drop dead sexy. My mouth popped open in shock and he laughed from beside me.

"Like it?" He asked in a teasing tone. I nodded quickly and he accepted the book back from me, placing it back into the box he had. I noticed that he put it over a bunch of pictures that I couldn't make out clearly, and then he shoved the bunches of notebook papers on top of the yearbook before putting the lid back on top of the box. I was tempted to ask him about what those papers and pictures were, but I decided not to. He put the box back under his bed and then laid back on his bed, motioning for me to join him. I crawled onto his chest and he held me there, letting me listen to his heart beat steadily in his chest.

"I missed you yesterday." I commented as I traced patterns on the black fabric of his thin t-shirt. I watched his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath.

"I missed you too Lana." He said, wrapping his arms around my waist as his chin rested on the top of my head. "I still wish you'd trust me enough to tell me about whatever's going on with Blake though." He admitted. I sighed.

"When the time is right I'll tell you." I said, reassuring him. He nodded and then I remembered something else. "Chris, how did Angela take you breaking up with her?" I wondered idly. He froze, and I grew slightly suspicious.

"Um... Well at first she thought I was joking. I told her I just thought we were growing more distant and I couldn't go through with our wedding if I was feeling bad vibes. She cried, but she got over it I guess. She will eventually." He said, and I felt him shrug. I nodded against his chest.

"Yeah, I guess she will." I said. His arms tightened around me.

"I wish I could be with you all the time Lana. I wanted to show Blake today that you were mine, and I was angry that I couldn't." Chris admitted after a moment of silence. I sighed deeply.

"I wish I could be with you too Chris. And I'm upset that... Whatever we have isn't allowed." I whispered. I looked up to see him staring at me, a question sparkling in his eyes.

"I kinda wanna make 'us' official." He whispered, his hand coming up to toy with the ends of my hair. The room was silent except for my heart beating loudly in my chest. I stared into his eyes, seeing the question that lingered there.

"Yes." I whispered finally, grinning and throwing my arms around him. He smiled right before he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me deeply as guilt flooded through me. Now I was officially dating Chris... and being forced to date Blake. I didn't want to count Blake, but I had to. Even if I didn't want to be dating him, I was still technically dating him. I wished I wasn't. I wished I could just flip him off and be done with it.