Teach Me

Chaper Eight: Worried

When I got home that night I cried myself to sleep, wishing that things weren't so complicated and that Chris would just accept my words. He should hate me, or be repulsed by my unnatural attraction to him, but he wasn't. I hated it, but I loved it. Loved it because I got what I wanted, the love of my life. Hated it because it could hurt his fiancée, and it definitely hurt me. And it could hurt what little reputation I had. When kids started to find out that Alana, the school's new biggest whore, had been messing with the engaged math teacher, I would be hated by everyone. And I mean everyone. I didn't want that.

On Wednesday I decided that I wouldn't go to tutoring anymore until things simmered down a bit. I think I could hold off on it for a little, I had been doing pretty good in math for a change.

I went through the day with anxiety coursing through me. I didn't want to go to class, even though I was forcing myself to. I went to gym instead of tutoring, and some of the kids looked confused as to why I was there when they hadn't seen me in class in such a long time. I just shrugged and ignored them just as I had decided to ignore Chris' attempts of making me accept him again.

I had prepared myself both mentally and physically by the time math class rolled around, and I took a deep breath before I entered the classroom. I expected to see Mr. Brown sitting there at his desk with his elbow propped up on the surface, but instead an older man sat there, typing away on a shiny silver laptop as he pushed his glasses up his nose. I was confused for a moment, glancing at the door to make sure I had the right room. Then I frowned again and took a step forward.

"Hello..." I said unsurely. The man looked up at me and smiled, his mustache twitching with the curve of his lips.

"Hello, I'm Mr. Villinsko. I'll be the substitute teacher while Mr. Brown is out." He said with a fake smile. I just nodded and sat down in the back of the class, not seeing any point to sit up front. Meanwhile worry was gnawing at me. Where was Chris? Why wasn't he here? Since I had known him, he had NEVER missed a day of school. He was always here, whether he was sick or not. Why had he suddenly gone MIA? Where was he?

As the class began to fill with students, whispers filled the room. Everyone was mumbling about how Mr. Brown was gone. It wasn't normal. I gripped the edge of my desk tightly, now knowing that I hadn't been overreacting. Something was definitely up. I just didn't know what it was.

***
I was tempted to email Mr. Brown that night, just to see where he had been and if he was okay. But I decided against it. I needed to stop worrying about him. I couldn't take it anymore, being this close to him. Not unless he broke up with Angela. As long as he was with her, I wouldn't touch him. He deserved her over me anyway.

Before I went to bed I silently prayed that Mr. Brown was okay, but I wasn't sure if it would help.

CHRIS POV

I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling as tears silently ran down my face. I swiped them away, but they kept coming back. I couldn't believe Alana's words had effected me that much, had shook me to the core. Enough so that I had missed work. I hadn't been able to come in today, so a substitute replaced me. How pathetic of me. I replayed her words over and over again in my head.

"I hate you." Those had been her words, and each one had cut deep, slashed at my heart. When she had swept out of the room and slammed the door she had left me to bleed, slowly drowning in my own blood, choking as it filled my lungs. I was nothing without her, and now she had abandoned me. I was worthless. Even though I had Angela, I still wanted Alana. And even if I had Alana, I knew I would still want Angela. I was fucked up.

ALANA POV

I walked into school with my head held high, unwilling to cave in on insecurities or fear or sadness. I was here to learn, and not to think about Mr. Brown and wonder if he was okay. I wondered if that stupid substitute would be there again, and I silently prayed that he wouldn't. The class wasn't the same without Mr. Brown, even if I had decided not to go near him. I still couldn't help but to stare at him.

I didn't go to tutoring, but as my sixth period math class arrived I found myself walking carelessly to the classroom, telling myself that I didn't care if he was there or not.

I walked into the room and froze when I saw him. I smiled slightly, but my smile faltered when I registered his appearance. There were dark bags under his eyes, his cheeks were sunk in, his whole body looking like a skeleton. His expression was dull, the fire completely gone from his eyes. His mouth was in a permanent frown, but when he heard me approach he seemed to frown even more. My books tumbled out of my hands, scattering along the floor. This hadn't happened in one day, had it?!

Mr. Brown's head snapped up when he heard me drop my things, but he just glared and made no move to help me pick them up. I just sighed and blushed as I bent down to clean up the mess I had made.

A few minutes later I made it to my desk, noticing that while I had been busy the rest of the class had appeared. I slid into my chair, deciding to sit in the back of the room. Mr. Brown's new appearance frightened me, but it also concerned me. I didn't understand why he would look like this. Was it from worry, hurt, loss? Was he really upset by what I had said to him? I sighed and looked down at my desk. It wasn't my fault, after all. It was his fault for not even telling me about Angela.

When Mr. Brown taught class, he had a rough, raspy, tired voice that I had never heard him use before. Nevertheless, that tone turned me on more than ever before. I bit my lip and lowered my head slightly, but every few seconds I saw his eyes flicker over to me. He looked pleading, and worried. I yearned to be back with him, to feel his soft lips on mine and his gentle hands caress my body. I shuddered at the thought of it, and I think he noticed.

After class I felt numb, like whatever was wrong with Mr. Brown was my fault. Even though I knew he shouldn't have done what he did in the first place, I still felt guilty. As everyone else left the classroom, I was tempted to go with them, but instead I stayed behind. Mr. Brown just stayed at his desk, his head bowed slightly. When he heard me clear my throat, he stiffened.

"Why are you still here?" he asked hoarsely.

"A-Are you okay?" I asked unsurely.

"Just leave me alone." he growled, his hands clenching into fists.

"What's wrong?" I asked, ignoring his threat. He just glared at me and stood up.

"What part of 'leave me alone' can you not understand?!" he shouted angrily. I took a step back, hurt flooding through me. He realized what he had done and shook his head.

"Lana, I'm sorry. It's just hard to be around you." He whispered sadly, a tear shining on his cheek.

"It's not just that. You look sick." I mumbled, looking up at him. He stared at me, the bags under his eyes more prominent up close. He sighed and looked away, running a hand through his hair.

"I miss you." he admitted.

"I..." I trailed off and he looked up expectantly. I had been about to say "I miss you too", but I forced myself to keep quiet.

"I'm sorry." I whispered finally, looking down and fidgeting aimlessly.

"You're gonna be late to class Alana. You should go now." he snapped, giving me an angry look. It took a lot of restraint for me to hold back from running into his arms, but I finally wiped away a tear and turned towards the door, walking out of his classroom and not looking back.

***

The next day when I went to school I was even thinking about showing up to my tutoring session, but I finally decided against it. It wasn't worth the pain. It hurt me beyond words to see him like he was. His appearance and mood had put me in a bad mood of my own, and I hated it. I despised it. I didn't ever want to see him look like that, but then I remembered that Angela would probably be returning from her stupid little trip sometime this weekend. Hopefully then he would feel better, when he had her back. Even though it made jealousy boil within me, I just wanted him to be happy. As long as that happened, it would make me feel at least a little better, minus the fact that the only thing I would be able to think about would be him touching her. I shook my head to clear the thoughts and looked at the clock. It was almost time for math class. I just hoped it would be better than it was yesterday.

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So I know some of you wanted a Chris POV, well there it is lol 😝 I'll try to make more of them 😄 and I'm also taking requests for what you guys want to happen in the story (you can just inbox me an idea, Leave it in the comments, post it on my wall etc.) but anyway, I didn't post this from my laptop so let me know if the chapter is shorter than usual (sorry if it is) I'll update soon ^_^