Not Leaving {The Book Thief}

22

      Max couldn't heal. He had lost everything again. God seemed determined to always leave him with nothing, but a small piece of love was always given to him in the end. The first time it was young Liesel and this time it was tiny Becky.

      They had found a lady to feed the small child but Max wouldn't let go of his last piece of love. He clutched the delicate thing just loose enough to ensure that she wouldn't be crushed and toyed with her thick black curls that were identical to his wife's. Liesel always had to pry Becky from his arms and quickly hurry him out so the lady could feed Becky.

     The death of Zipporah had overshadowed Liesel and Rudy's brief happiness to the point that they had completely forgot.

Liesels POV
      I solemnly washed the dishes from lunch and hummed a song to Becky who sat behind me, ready for a bath after the dishes were washed. I flicked water onto her small red nose just to make her squeal qleefully. I turned back to the sink to finish up when some light streaming in from the window glinted off the band of silver on my finger.

     "Rudy!" I screamed, my tone suggested I had been murdered. Rudy jumped down the stairs and grabbed my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes. I looked up a time him tearfully with a smile on my face. "We are engaged." I whispered. Tears glistened in his blue eyes as he wrapped me into a tight, loving embrace that stole the kitchen out of focus and replaced the world with stars.

    "Can we get married soon?! I can't bear this unhappiness, I just want to have something happy!" I whispered into his ear. He released me and looked at me tenderly. "Would next week be fine? Or sooner?" He brushed his hand over my cheek. "Next week is perfect!" He twirled me around the kitchen and kissed me, but we were soon interrupted by poor Becky.

     Oma immediately started sewing my dress which would be to my ankles and be the pattern of an everyday dress in white. I ran my fingers through my curls which had been in a mess ever since Zipporah died since they had been without her gentle touch.

     I thought about all the married couples I had known. Max and Zipporah who had lived till her last breath, Barbara and Alex who were happy even though they were opposites, and Mama and Papa... I started to cry as their death finally settled in. I had never properly excepted their death or even thought about them and I could feel my heart snap at my ignorance. They won't won't see my wedding. Papa would have played his accordion at the party and Mama would've insisted on cooking.

      Papa would've winked at me and said I told you so when Rudy and I announced our engagement while Mama would've stuck her nose up and asked him why he thought he was good enough, but of course she would have melted in the end. Papa would have walked me down the aisle while Mama would have reluctantly smiled from her pew. They would have cried. Mama would've said she loved me.

      But they wont. Because they are dead. I don't have parents anymore, not real ones who care. Who love me. I only have Rudy. Max doesn't love anyone anymore, except for Becky. Oma doesn't really love me, she is only entitled to love me as her daughter in law. I felt a lump rise in my throat and my heart ached.

      I let out a bitter scream as I landed on my bed, tears pouring out my eyes. I needed Papa to come to me and hug me and read to me the Grave Diggers Handbook. I needed him to play his accordion despite Mama's protest. I can't be okay until I have that, I will feel broken until I feel love. I knew I would faint soon, like I always did in times of stress.

    I felt warm hands grab my shoulder and hold my wriggling body still. I wept louder and kicked my legs about. I saw the lemon hair by my eyes and felt his breath, he was scared of this me. He didn't love the me that felt tortured inside. I turned away from him and saw the other face, standing solemn in the corner of the room. "Max." I cried. He walked over slowly. He looked at me with his empty eyes. "They are gone." I whispered to him. He nodded. "Why can't they come back, Mama and Papa. Zipporah. Oh Max I'm sorry!" I hugged him. I let go and turned to Rudy. "Rudy! I'm sorry! I haven't understood you, your loss! I love you Rudy..." I cried into his shoulder. I felt myself slip out of his arms and lay down.

      I woke up in the white light room to the blissfully familiar sound of an accordion...

      I blinked my eyes and jumped out of bed to find the source. I skimmed the room and saw Max sitting in the corner holding an accordion, he wasn't just holding it. He was playing funkel, funkel kleiner Stern. I looked at him as he proudly played the simple tune. He smiled for the first time in weeks as he brought back his father with the sound.

     Rudy stirred and looked over sternly at Max who had woken him from his sleep. I felt a tear fall down my cheek as Papa was brought back as well as Max' brotherly love. Now all I needed was some awful soup, but Oma wouldn't let that happen. Mama came with Papas sound anyways.

    Rudy fell back to sleep with his pillow over his ear and Becky smiled now instead of crying. My world was settling back down, for now and for a much longer time.