Just Being Honest

Scared Of Love

Coach Joe In The MM
JoJo POV
After hours of waiting the doctor came in with the test results. He looked like he had bad news and I just started crying. Lee had been woke for about an hour. Everybody still here just praying for the best.

The doctor said " Is it okay for me to share your results with everyone."
Lee said " Yeah it's okay."
The doctor said " You have lupus and you also have a concussion from when you passed out."
Lee said " What do you mean I have Lupus?"
He said " I understand it's a hard thing to deal with but you have lupus. I'm sorry I want to run test though to see how bad you have it though. So I can get the medication and treatment you need started."

The doctor left and Lee just broke down crying. Nate got up and hugged him. Jay also got up and hugged him.

Justiono said " It will all be okay just keep your faith and you will be okay."

I just sat in the chair crying because I know what he feeling right now. He tired of things going wrong and receiving bad news. I know he trying his best to keep his faith and stay strong. It's sad that this happened to him but I know he will get through it. I finally get up and walk over to him. I hugged him tightly and cry with him.

I whisper in his ear" I know you want to give up but you have to fight this. Your life is to important for you to give up. Especially because of Nate, Jay, Leland,and Me. We need you here and alive to keep us here and alive."

He just shook his and kept crying. I just wanted to take his pain away. He is my brother and I don't want him to hurt.

Lee POV
I really didn't know what to think when I got the news. I just thought about how my life will be from now on. Will I be able to handle this disease. I started thinking about Jay and how he would feel if I ended my life. I couldn't think of the bad I had to think of not only my self but all the people in my life. I can't hurt them I have to be strong.

Justiono went home after 4 hours of being there with me. Of course JoJo, Nate,and Leland stayed with me. It felt good to have love around me. I used to feel no love at all. I was always trying to find love in the wrong people. Nate and Jay went and layed on the couch and went to sleep while Leland, JoJo and I just talked.

Leland said " It's crazy how much a person can handle in life. I mean life sometimes really try's to break you."
I said " Yeah that is true. I mean look at us we all been through the let downs of not have our biological family want us. Leland you have to deal with your sickle cell. JoJo you have to deal with the pain of the world."
JoJo said " Yeah that is true."
I said " But we got to remain strong because the strong tide that we would have to climb would be harder to find."
JoJo said " Shut your poetic justice as up always trying to quote your own quote."
I said " Well when your as creative as I am it kind of flows."
Leland said " Well I need you to flow with writing me a song."
JoJo said " BooBoo can you even sing?"
He said " Yes girl I can sang."

We all burst out laughing.

I got to thinking about my dad and if I should continue to have a relationship with him. I mean life is short and I want to know a lot about my heritage. I really want to know to know more about my mom. I also want to know about my mom family and his.

I made JoJo take Jay home so he can get ready for school. He really didn't want to leave but his education comes first. Nate and Leland had left because they had a class. So I was all alone and I had time to think. But my thinking get interrupted by a text from Justiono.

Text Conversation
I'm sorry to be texting you this but I can't deal with you having this disease. It reminds me to much of my mom who I abandoned because she had lupus. I decided to move back and take care of her and go to school there. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the one for you but I genuinely care about you enough to get out while it's early. I don't need to lead you on because your such a beautiful person. I have to deal with my personal issues first before I take on your. Maybe in the future we can really be together but for now I can't. I'm sorry for being the one to break your heart again.
Text Conversation End

Damn is all I could think of . I mean on one hand I'm glad he cared enough to let me know what going on. But on the other hand I can't believe him. Maybe it's not meant for me to be in a relationship. Maybe I just need to leave the dating scene alone for a while.

JoJo POV
I take Jay inside his school when I see this man basically eye fucking me. He was sexy as hell and I can see from what he wearing he is working with a lot.

I asked Jay" Who is that man over there."
He said " Coach Joe the man Nanie (He calls Nate Nanie) tried to set you up with."
I said " Ohh he did now well he did right."

I walked Jay to class and was about to leave until Coach Joe pulled me to him.

He said " Hello beautiful."
I said " Hi sexy"
He said " I know your single and I am to but I'm not looking for a relationship right now and I hope you aren't either."
I said " Hell naw I'm good on relationship for a while I just want to hang with someone for a while. Until I am ready to date."
He said " Well I'm your dude. Can I get your number?"

I gave him my number and walked out the school. I went back to the hospital since I didn't have class till later on today.

Lee POV
The doctor told how bad I had lupus and he said it could be managed as long as I took my medication and treatment. I was thanking god that it was nothing I couldn't manage. He also said he wanted to keep me for another day just to make sure I'm good. JoJo had told me he was on his way back up here. I really am thankful for living. Disease or not it won't stop me anymore.