The Joker Stories

Perfectly Normal

" Puddin' I think there might be something wrong with her." Harley said softly to her husband, the Joker, who sat across from her while they watched their small daughter play with her toys in her bedroom. Y/n ,who was stuck in her own little world, whispered to her dolls as if they were alive and speaking to each other. The child seemed too consumed in her thoughts to pay attention.
Joker sighed leaning forward to rest his chin on the palm of his hand.
"Yeah like the fact that there's absolutely nothing wrong." Joker's voice was rough and scratchy. Harley Quinn reached across the table and ran her thumb along his knuckles.
"Oh J, what're we gonna do with her?" Harley wailed. Joker snatched his hand away from hers quickly but Harley chose to ignore his act of disgust and turned to watch as her blonde daughter skipped over to the glass coloring table and looked around the room with a complex feature on her face. Perking up a notch Harley stood from her spot and maneuvered around all the scattered toys on the ground making her way over to Y/n.
"Hey bubblegum, what're you looking for?" The Joker listen closely to his wife interacting with his darling daughter and waited- hoped for her to say something corrupted, violent, threatening, anything out of the ordinary for that matter. Harley's lean fingers played with then end strands of Y/n's pigtails that were one of the only signs that she was even Harley and the Joker's child. The right end of her bleach blonde hair was painted pinkish red and the left half was blue.
Harley knelt down to the girls level and put on a wide smile. Y/n returned the act to her mom and grinned happily,
"I'm trying to find my coloring book, mommy. I can't remember where daddy put it yesterday." She explained digging through her toy bins. Turning her head, Harley shared a pointed look with her husband.
"Where did you put them?" She mouthed wordlessly. The green haired man shrugged nonchalantly and avoided her fiery gaze. Huffing, Harley shuffled around the room searching for a picture book of any sort. When he hands landed on a red book with flames and skulls on the cover a proud and overjoyed smile tattooed itself onto her face. Taking the item into her grasp, Harley Quinn swirled around on her back foot and held up the coloring book to her daughter.
"Is this the book, sweetie?" Harley's tone was filled with kindness and sugar, something she reserved special for Y/n. Joker chuckled in his seat and Y/n laughed at her crazed mom as well.
"No silly mommy of course not! Daddy bought that for me but I don't like it... too scary." Too scary? There was no such thing as 'too scary' when it came to the mindset of Harley Quinn and the Joker. They lived off the term 'too scary' they practically invented it!
Joker's laugh continued to fill the pink bedroom and for a while Harley didn't think it would stop. Quinn glared daggers at him and threw the blank book into the bucket of 'too scary' toys which included a miniature wooden bat with Harley's slogan of 'goodnight' printed onto it in fancy black lettering, a rubber snake and spider, a plastic knife and mask from the Halloween costume the Joker had picked out for her the year before (which Y/n discarded for a long blue sparkling dress with white snowflakes wanting to go as Elsa), a toy gun and so much more.
A distant cough pulled the insane blonde girl from her thoughts. Harley eyed her husband waiting for him to elaborate but he said nothing, only pointed to the glitter decorated garbage bin in the corner of his daughter's room and smirked. Gritting her teeth, Harley walked to the garbage and sure enough found a purple Disney coloring book.
She pointed her finger at the Joker and shook her head causing her hair to sweep across her face. The Joker merely gave her a smug smile that stretch across his tattooed face.
With a roll of her eyes Harley placed the coloring activity on the round table Y/n had displayed all her white China glass tea cups on.
"There you go Puddin' I found your book." Y/n shouted in excitement at the new found item and ran over to her mom hugging her legs.
"Thank you, thank you, mommy!" Harley giggled bending down to place a feather like kiss on top of Y/n's head.
"You're welcome, sugar." Having watched the scene unfold, The Joker felt a small amount of warmth rush into his body.
Harley rejoined him on the chair and took a seat on his lap wrapping her arms around his neck. Her dyed ends rested on his chest as the two of the examined their perfectly normal child from a far.
"Oh J, I was being serious before; what're we gonna do with her? Our little monster is over there coloring princesses and flowers! Even her imagination isn't all that psychotic." Harley complained covering her big eyes behind her hands. The Joker stifled another laugh and frowned instead.
"I don't know, Har. Maybe it'll just take some time for her to grow into the whole 'bad' thing." The Joker said in a calm manner. Although he was all for crazy and evil, he secretly appreciated Y/n's innocence.
A loud screech drew the couple to snap over to their daughter. The Joker shot up from his seat, Harley stumbling off his lap onto the floor, and ran over to the crying girl.
"Pumpkin, what's wrong? Are you hurt, did something happen?" Harley picked herself up from the wooden floor and watched the two interact. Although she would never admit it out loud in fear of losing her life, Y/n was the only person walking on earth that Harley had ever witnessed the Joker being soft and gentle with. One time she tried to bring it up but Mr.J gave her the most menacing stare she'd ever received and ignored her for the rest of the week telling Harley that if she were to bring it up again it would be the last time she ever spoke. That was enough to shut up her for life.
Y/n wiped her eyes with a significant pout on her face.
"Daddy I'm all out of glitter in my pens." She complained waving the purple writing utensil in front of her dad's face.
"Fix it please!" The Joker took the light pen from her hands and examined it closely.
"Sweetheart there's nothing I can do, it's all gone. I'll get you some more later." The trail of tears stopped in an instant and were replaced with snuffles. Mr. J brushed his fingers along Y/n's puffy red cheeks. Harley covered her mouth to keep from gawking at the sight.
"Okay daddy." Y/n nodded digging through the rest of her markers and crayons. Joker lifted from his knees and went to take a seat back in his chair but was suddenly cut short by Harley.
"Uh, J... are you seein this?" She muttered. Mr. J shot her a confused stare. Harley's hand was extended to their daughter pointing at the page in front of her.
Harley's mouth practically skimmed the floor in pure shock. The Joker stomped back to Y/n curious to see what had his wife in such a fix. His hand fell on Y/n's shoulder towering over top of her to see what she was drawing and when he realize when it was, he almost passed out.
Underneath all the sparkles, paint, stickers and sequins was a large black symbol. The wings were outlines with squiggly glitter gel and had heart sequins glued on.
"Is that the- where did you get this?" The Joker yelled plucking the art project from Y/n's hands who squealed in annoyance.
"I made it for you, daddy! I saw it in the sky a few nights ago and I thought you would like it..." The young girl mumbled. Her green bow had slipped down her hair and was dangling on the end of her locks.
On the white sheet of paper and was a decorated bat symbol. More specifically a Batman symbol. Harley bit her knuckle to hide her laughter as the Joker turned to her with a grimace,
"There is definitely something wrong with this one."

This is cute...

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