Finding a Twin

Chapter 21 : Riker's panic attack

Chapter 21

Jeff POV

"Oh god, Jeff! Why would you do this!?" Riker shouted, standing over me.

I was starting to feel really dizzy and tired.

"Rydel! Help!" Riker shouted.

Rydel came running in.

"Whoa. What happened!?"

"Go get mom and dad."

"Ok."

Riker grabbed a towel, and wet it in the sink. He wrapped it really tightly around my arms, which were bleeding a lot. Riker took the razor blade out of my hand, and threw it in the garbage.

Riker sat down next to me, and kept putting pressure on my wrists. They were stinging so badly.

Mom, Dad, and Rydel were here now.

"He cut his wrists. A lot. I think he needs to go to the hospital," Riker said, sounding really concerned.

"Get him in the car," dad said.

Riker picked me up in his arms, and carried me downstairs, and then outside to dad's car. Riker put my seat belt on for me, and then he put his own seat belt on. He kept holding the towel down on my wrists, which were burning.

Dad got in, and started driving.

I couldn't help but cry more. My wrists hurt, I'm on the way to the hospital, and I think I'm in big trouble...

I was beginning to get even dizzier. I could barely keep my eyes focused. It felt like everything around me was spinning. And the car was making everything way worse.

I couldn't keep control of myself anymore. I fell over into Riker's lap, exhausted.

"Dad, hurry! Something's wrong!"

That was the last thing I heard before everything faded to black.

Riker POV

"What's happening?"

"He... He... I don't know! He's not awake! Just hurry, ok!?"

"We're almost there. Are you keeping pressure on his wrists?"

"I-I'm t-trying!"

My hands were shaking so bad. I was so scared inside. What if my brother dies!?

The blood was beginning to soak through the towel. 

"D-dad, p-please hurry!" I said, crying now.

"Ok. I'm going to pull up to the front. I want you to take him in. Your mother already called the hospital to tell them we were coming. Just tell them you've got Jeff Lynch."

"O-ok."

About a minute later, dad pulled up to the front of the hospital. I took off mine and Jeff's seat belts. I picked him up, and quickly ran inside, still trying to keep pressure on his wrists.

I ran up to the lady at the front desk.

"I h-have um... J-Jeff L-Lynch," I said, shaking.

She called some people, and a bunch of nurses came out with a hospital bed. I set Jeff down, and they took him away. 

I found the bathroom, and locked myself inside. I sunk down to the floor, and started sobbing. I knew I was the one who caused this. I made him upset. And now he could die because of me.

I was more hyperventilating than I was crying. My fingers and toes were tingling, which was something I remembered Jeff said happened when he gets panic attacks. I was beginning to wonder if I was having a panic attack. I couldn't seem to calm down, and I just felt terrified inside.

"Riker, you in there?" Dad asked, knocking on the door.

I unlocked the door. Dad came in, and relocked it.

"Hey. Calm down," he said, sitting down beside me.

I ran my shaking hands through my hair. I can't even deal with this anymore.

"Riker. Calm down. They're doing everything they can."

I couldn't seem to calm down. I never really understood what that meant when Jeff said it. But now I do...

Dad pulled me onto his lap, and hugged me. I cried into his chest, trying to catch my breath, but I couldn't seem to...

"It's going to be ok, Riker," he said, rubbing my back.

I was slowly beginning to get control over my body again. My breaths were heavy, but it felt like I could actually breathe a little bit. I was able to take deeper and deeper breaths. My chest actually sort of hurt a little from breathing so hard for so long.

"Come on. Let's go out to the waiting room. Your mom texted me. Everyone's here."

Dad made me get up, and he took me out to the waiting room. I wasn't crying anymore, but that was only because I was doing everything I could to hold it in. 

I sat next to Rydel. Actually that's not true. I was laying in her lap, and she had her arm around me.

Someone called dad up to the front desk. My heart was beginning to race again. But when dad came back, his face wasn't telling me Jeff was gone.

"They said Jeff lost a lot of blood, so if any of us want to donate-"

"I will!" I shouted, falling off Rydel's lap, onto the floor.

"Go to the front desk, then," dad said.

I honestly didn't care that I was terrified of needles. I need to save my brother.

A nurse brought me into a room. She cleaned my arm.

"Are you afraid of needles?"

"Yeah..."

"Ok. I would suggest you don't look."

"Yeah, ok..."

I turned my head away, and covered my eyes with my other hand. 

"You're going to feel a slight pinch."

I was literally holding my breath. I was so tense.

I felt the needle go in my arm, and I let out my breath. 

"This will take about 10 minutes, sweety. Just try to relax a little, ok? It'll go quicker if you're not so tense."

I tried to relax as much as my body would let me. But it was kind of in fight or flight mode because I'm afraid of needles.

"Come on. Try to relax. You're about halfway there."

I was trying not to think about the needle in my arm. But that was about the only thing my mind would let me think about. And how awful it feels.

"Alright, you're done."

I sighed in relief. But I just about passed out when I saw how much blood she'd taken from me.

"Here. Drink this," she said, handing me a cup of orange juice.

I drank the juice, but I felt dizzy. The nurse had to walk me back out because I felt so awful inside.

I sat down on the floor in front of Rydel's chair. I closed my eyes, trying to make myself feel better. Rydel put her hands on my shoulders, making sure I didn't fall over.

"Come on, Riker. I know you hated it, but it's over. Relax," Rydel said.

I leaned my head on her leg, and wrapped my arms around her leg, trying to keep myself upright. Rydel started petting my head.

What an awful evening it's been...

A/N : Literally such a frustrating day... I'm sick, but I went to school anyway. But the wifi wasn't working... Ugh...