Finding a Twin

Chapter 23 : Suspicious of Jeff

Chapter 23

Later...

Riker POV

Jeff was home, and I was't letting him out of my sight. He was only allowed to leave my sight for bathroom breaks, and I would walk him there, wait for him to finish, and then walk him back. I was in overprotective Riker mode.

The nurses at the hospital had put bandages over his wrists so hopefully they could heal a little bit better. He'd gotten stitches in some of the bad cuts. 

But I'm pretty sure he was happy to be back home.

"Jeff?"

"What?"

"I have a question..."

"Which is?"

"So um... You know how you cut your wrists and all that?"

"Yeah...?"

"And like you almost died... sort of..."

"Yeah...?"

"Were you trying to kill yourself? Or did you just cut too many times by accident?"

"It was an accident."

"Ok. Good. So you're not technically suicidal then, right?"

"I used to be."

"Wait. Really?"

"Yeah... My parents were horrible, Riker!"

"What did you do?"

"I never really seriously did anything. I just sort of thought about it. I would always debate whether it would be worse to take a bunch of pills, slit my wrists, or jump off the roof. But I never tried any of them."

"How often would you think about that kind of stuff?"

"Every day..."

"Really?"

"Yeah... It was awful, Riker."

Jeff moved closer to me. I put my arm around him, and he laid his head on my chest. I think one of the only good things about Jeff going through all of this, was that he liked to cuddle, and I liked that about him. It made me feel like he needed me and wanted me by his side to protect him. Nobody else besides Rydel ever wanted to cuddle with me. I'd tried a few times with Rocky, but he'd just kick me out of bed.

"So... You don't think about that stuff anymore, do you?"

"Not really... I mean... I'm still kind of scared of some stuff. But I do feel pretty safe here. Especially when you're around. You wouldn't let anything happen to me, right?"

"Of course not! Even when you scare me half to death, like you did last night."

"Sorry... I was kind of scared too. I kept feeling dizzier and dizzier until I couldn't focus anymore."

I sighed.

"Ok. Well, let's prevent this from ever happening again, ok? Next time something happens, I'll stay calm, and I won't yell at you. And you need to tell me if you feel like cutting, because we have to stop that. Ok?"

"Ok, Riker..."

"You tired?"

"Yeah... They said I might be kind of tired because I don't have as much blood in me as I should."

"Right..."

"Do I have to go to school tomorrow?"

"Probably. Why?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Yeah, well I don't want to either. But we have to. It's sort of the law, you know."

"Yeah..."

"I'm actually a little nervous. I haven't talked to Mikayla since... you know..."

"Why haven't you called her yet?"

"Well... I was sort of busy with you last night and this morning. And to be honest, my mind hasn't been on her. It's been on making sure you're alright."

"I'm fine, Riker... Just a little tired..."

"Kids! Dinner!"

"Well, you can't sleep yet. It's dinnertime."

"I'm not hungry."

"Well at least try to eat. Otherwise you'll feel sick later. Just eat a little bit of something."

Jeff and I got up. I put my arm around him as we walked downstairs.

The next day...

Riker POV

I had to go to the guidance office during one of my free periods today. My guidance counselor was questioning my grades in calculus, but I just told her that I stink at math. She told me that colleges won't like seeing that I failed the class, and it was basically just a really long lecture on why not to fail.

By the time the lecture was over, the bell had rung, and I had to go to my economics class. So I hope Jeff has been doing alright without me...

Later...

Riker POV

I met Jeff outside his classroom so we could walk home together. But something seemed off about him. Something just wasn't right. He seemed jumpy.

I didn't say anything to him until we'd left the school.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, fine."

I looked at him.

"You sure?"

"Mhmmm..."

I sighed. But if he says he's fine, then I'm probably just worrying too much. If something's wrong, he'll tell me, right?

As soon as we got home, Jeff wanted to go take a shower. He was in the bathroom for probably 20 minutes before he turned the shower on. Now, maybe he was going to the bathroom. But... I felt like he was doing something else, like possibly cutting!

I opened the bathroom door while he was in the shower.

"Jeff?"

"Riker, I'm in the shower! What are you doing in here!?"

"Are you ok?"

"Riker, I'm fine! Except you're in here while I'm showering! Please leave!"

"Ok, ok..."

I shut the door. I didn't see any blood anywhere, but... Whatever. Maybe I'm just paranoid...

A/N : So literally... I'm sitting in the senior lounge, editing this chapter at school and thank god the internet is back... But there's this guy that came and sat down across from me and he's like trying to talk to me and flirt with me and in my head I'm like SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO TYPE FANFICTION!!!