I hope you know I love you (Punk and pastel Phan)

You Came Along

Warning: This chapter has to do with conversations about suicide.

Dan:
When I woke the first thing I immediately did once I saw Phil laying next to me was grab his shirt collar, and kiss him with everything I had. I didn't want to ever let go of him, but I learned after a few minutes of hardcore kissing I realized how hard it was to breath when your lips were pressed against someone else's. Especially someone as attractive at Philip Michael Lester.
"I'm sorry." I whispered to him, as my eyes were still closed, heavy breaths escaping my mouth. Our foreheads leant together while our lips were only centimeters apart. I could feel his morning breath on my face and I loved it.
"Dan." He whispered before I connected his lips to mine. Usually his lips are soft like cotton but now they were rough, and I liked it.
"Ya." I lowly moaned as I flipped Phil under me, and wrapped my thighs around his torso. Phil raised his hand slowly and lightly pushed my chest up.
"We need to talk about last night."
My cheeks go even redder as he speaks in a low groggy voice.
"What's there to talk about?" I ask as I start to lightly kiss the cold, soft skin on his neck. Phil squirms under me; trying to control himself.
"Dan...d-do you remember what you said last night?" I had started to pull down on the collar of his shirt with my teeth, but stopped when I heard what he said.
"Yes." I quietly spoke into his chest "Do we have to talk about it?"
"Well," he sat up a bit so that my knees were up against his wooden baseboard, behind us, and so was his back. "I know you may say you don't, but come on Dan I know you need to let that sort of stuff out."
My head is bowed down but he sets one hand under my chin so that our eyes meet and another intertwined with my fingers.
"I know you have been through so much, yet I know nothing about how you truly feel. Well I kind of do but only because you were too sleepy to realize what you were saying."
I was shaking now and I could feel tears start to well up in my eyes. Why was I so weak? But Phil was right. I had to talk about this.
"Hey, hey." Phil said softly leaving his thumb under my chin but stretching his hand over my now damp cheek. "Bear it's okay I just-"
"Phil." I cut him off because now my shoulders were shuddering violently. I was trying to speak through the sobs, and Phil was just being amazing by patiently waiting.
"Phil," I started again after a few minutes "I've been through some bad things, and times, in my lifetime."
He squeezes my hand and brings it up to his lips and kisses my knuckles lightly.
"And I admit I have thought of ways to get out of it..." Phil grips my hand tighter and quickly glances down at my arms, but then back at my eyes.
"I have never actually down any of those things, thankfully, but there have been so many nights were I just laid on my bed and cried." I chuckle a bit "I cried like such a baby. I just couldn't get all the horrible thoughts of the day out of my head. And there have been people, like Ty, who have tried to tear me down. For a while it worked, yet I would never let any one see. I don't like when people see me cry. I don't want to be seen as weak. But then..." I took in a shaky breath as Phil smiled and quickly pecks my cheek. His eyes lovingly stare into mine, and it's the best encouragement in the world. "You came along Phil Lester. I saw you on the first day of school and all of a sudden I wasn't dreading the rest of the school year of being picked on and of coming home to my mother hunched over in the bathroom. You brought me hope and happiness and love and...a whole new perspective on life. I had never, ever, cried in front of anyone before you came into my life." Phil raises his eyebrows in surprise and it causes me to laugh.
Gosh I love him
"Well obviously when I was a baby a couple of times, but in the all of my friendships and few relationships I had never truly dug into my feelings, and released them, like I did with you."
That's when the tears started to stream down my face, but they weren't out of sorrow, they were happy tears. I was grinning from ear to ear as I jumped into Phil; hugging him tightly. He straddled me in his lap as we clasped into to each other as tight as we could, without hurting each other.
"Thank you Phil Lester. You have changed my life for the better, and for that I am eternally grateful."
"I love you Dan. I love you so much."
Now we both were giggling like little children.
I'm so in love with this boy.
It's when we hear a knock on the door do we both realize how long we have been cuddling each other. I start to get off of Phil but he kisses me. He kisses me and it's so good. I think he was expecting it to be a short, hey feel better kiss, but it turned into so much more in those few short seconds.
"Phil honey." His mother called from outside the door. Phil was leaning over me as I sat on the bed, our lips connected and our hands all over each other. He broke away from me for a few seconds.
"Yes mother?" He called out quickly before he wrapped his arms against my hips, and I gently placed my hands on either side of his neck.
"May I speak to you?" I could hear Phil groan into my lips and that just made me pull him into me even more. I'm either stronger then I thought or Phil was too distracted because now he's on top of me as my back is laying against the bed. He's starring down at me in disbelief with a cute little surprised smile on his face (I think he kind of got turned on by it).
"You know what I'm just going to come in."
With that Mrs.Lester opened the door before either of us had time to process what kind of position we were in and where we were in that position.
"Oh!" She exclaimed when she walked in. Phil quickly climbed off of me, and the bed, as I sat up and stood next to him by the nightstand.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You were speaking to me through the door so I thought..." She now was turned around so her back was to our blushing faces.
I will never be able to look her in the eyes ever again.
"Mom, you can turn around now." Phil was holding back a snicker as he said this, and I lightly hit his shoulder before she awkwardly smiled at us.
"Okay, well I'm sorry to interrupt your nice little morning." I could tell she was about to laugh too.
"I'm sorry Mrs.Lester." I said shamefully as Phil smiled down at me cutely. I wanted to tell him to shut up, but I wanted to do it by colliding my lips with his.
"Oh honey that's okay, we all have been in relationships before! Um, Phil can I speak to you outside?"
"Of course!" And with that Phil placed a hand behind my back, leant down, and kissed me. It wasn't long but it wasn't short, and it left me a blushing mess as Phil smirked at me as he followed his mother out the door.