Three Empty Words

Chapter Three

"After the war is won, there's always a next one. I'm not bullet proof when it comes to you. Maybe I'll crash into you. Maybe we would open up these wounds. We're only alive if we bruise. So, I lay down this armor.

***

Thea's PoV

The run had been a piece of cake. Well, I wish there was cake, but no such luck. Anyways, the run got me back into the swing of things. There was only one time where my mind was clouded, and I almost got killed, but it wouldn't be a good week without at least one near death experience.

The four of us were away until after nightfall. None of us wanted to come back with an empty truck bed. When we came back, Aaron, Eugene, and Spencer volunteered to go out the next morning. That left me with a free day, and that wasn't good. I needed to keep my mind busy or it would wander all the way to the Sanctuary, wondering what kind of horrors Negan was putting Daryl through. It's a topic that's been haunting me every time I close my eyes. Maybe it would be better if I watched him die like Glenn and Abraham. At least I would know he was in good hands in the afterlife. It would probably be better if he died. I wish he was dead.

"Um, Thea? You okay?" a male voice asked from above me. It was a voice I hadn't heard in months. I opened my eyes to see that I found myself rocking back and forth on the hardwood surface of the pier. My hands were tangled in my hair, tightly gripping the sides of my head. I slowly put them in my lap and looked up at the boy who had spoken to me.

"Mikey? You're still alive?" I questioned, actually awestruck that this boy was still on Earth and having a conversation with me. He smiled and rubbed the back ok his neck. His brown hair had gotten   longer since I last saw him and he's gotten a lot more bulkier. He actually had muscle on those skinny bones, he must have put up the controller and started pulling his weight.

"Yea, I guess I am. Last time I checked, anyway," he grinned. My lips quirked up a little and he took that as an invitation to sit on the pier next to me. His eyes scanned the water or the pond, casting us into a short silence. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," I lied, glancing at him from the corner of my eye. "I'm...getting better," I sighed. Mikey nodded and leaned back to rest on the palm of his hands. 

"I know how much they meant to you. How much Daryl still means to you. I know I haven't lost a lot compared to you, but it still really hurts. It's not something that just heals over night. Don't feel like you have to be right back on your feet as soon as everyone else is."

"When did you get so...wise? That may not be the right word, but it works. I used to hate you, why am I slightly less hating your company right now?" I asked, a teasing tone underlying my words. 

"Well, Ron is dead. My dad is dead. All my bad influences are dead," he shrugged. I winced a little bit at the sting his words brought. I could say I felt a tiny bit sorry for Mikey, but I didn't feel sorry for Ron or Nicholas. Sometimes losing people or body parts, helps you grow more than you can imagine. It happened to everyone in the group and it looked like it happened to Mikey. Will it happen for me? Or did it already and I'm just too broken to grow anymore.

"What about Enid, huh?"

"What about her? She only hung around because of Ron. We didn't talk much."

"You're not going to try and get to know her know that she has turned a new leaf?"

"I might, but she's not really my type."

"And what is your type?"

"You mostly, but I, uh, don't want to get on Carl's bad side. He sort of scares me," he mumbled, actually looking over his shoulder to see if my boyfriend was anywhere in sight. An actual laughed bubbled to the surface and I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep me from embarrassing him further. 

"Yea, he can be pretty intimidating, but don't let him fool you. He's actually a big softy," I smiled, wondering where Carl could be right now. I hoped he was at home, spending time with his father and sister, but he probably wasn't. He was most likely playing the role of the leader's son and out helping people or putting supplies together for Negan. 

"He's good to you, though? Even though you're a pain in the ass?" he questioned with a bit of a smirk. I pushed him away playfully, shaking my head.

"He's the best. Couldn't ask for anyone better," I sighed, feeling a light breeze blow through my hair and causing small waves in the water. More silence passed between us,  just the sound of the wind and far off birds chirping filled our ears. It's been unusually quiet here in Alexandria since we got back without Maggie, Sasha, Abraham, Glenn, and Daryl. 

"I thought I'd find you here," Carl's voice startled the two of us and we turned our heads to take in his appearance. He was dressed pretty nice for being in the apocalypse, his hair was even combed through. I gave him a curious look, not used to see him so...clean. 

"What's the occasion?" I asked, getting right to the point. Carl eyed Mikey skeptically, but soon turned his attention back to me. 

"We're hosting a dinner at Deanna's old place. Dad just wants everyone to feel at home for the last time," he informed me, his voice sounding lower than usual. I nodded slowly and got to my feet. This meant I needed to go put on something a little more presentable. Usually I wouldn't give a damn about an event like this. Their a waste of time and supplies. But this time, I felt like it actually had a meaning. 

"I'll go get ready then," I tell Carl before turning back to Mikey. "It was nice talking to you. Things have definitely changed. I'll see you tonight," I smile. Mikey smiles back and waves the two of us away, not making a move to get up any time soon. I turn on my heel and walk towards the house, soon feeling Carl's hand in mine.

"Was that Mikey?" Carl asked, a bit perplexed.

"Yeah, it was. I was surprised too. He's actually not that bad anymore. I actually kind of enjoyed his company," I stated, a half-smile on my face. Carl gave me a weird look at my words. 

"He looks different..." he muttered. I smirked.

"He got more attractive," I teased him, knowing the two of us needed to lighten up as of late, and a little game of teasing never hurt anyone. He shook his head, an almost inaudible scoff emitting from his mouth. His hair fell into his face like he usually had it and I reached over to swipe it back. This might be the last time I get to ever seen him like this. We didn't get the luxuries of fancy dates or school dances, no reasons to get dressed up and cleaned anymore. I was going to enjoy this night as much as I could. 

"You're just saying that to get a reaction. Besides, I know you don't love him like you love me," he shrugged. I rolled my eyes a bit, yet a little happy to see he still gets jealous of other males. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do love you," I waved away his words and scanned the immediate area. "Have you seen Enid?"

"I haven't seen her since we came back. You don't think she left again do you?"

"I don't think so. She's probably waiting for Maggie to get back, those two had a weird bond going on. She's probably taking Maggie's absence hard, not to mention Glenn's death," I guess, my voice lowering the end of my sentence. Carl's grip on my hand tightened in reassurance and we fell quiet as we entered the house and walked up the steps to my bedroom. "Go watch Judith or something. You are not watching me shower and get ready."

Carl groaned, but obeyed and left my room. I laughed softly and went through my measly amount of the clothes. I didn't have much, I could throw something together for tonight. I felt like this might be the last night that I see the remainder of all of us together, in once place, and happy. With us not being in control anymore, we had basically nothing. This was the last night.