Symphony for the Lost

Worried

I stayed with Gilbert for about a month more. Honestly, I was surprised he stuck with my shit that long. Some nights I wouldn't even speak to him, some days I wouldn't leave is side. But no matter how distant I acted toward him, he never got mad at me. I think that maybe, during that time, I was testing my limits with him, seeing if I could destroy my happiness once more. But he didn't budge an inch on me. He genuinely wanted me to stay no matter who the day forced me to become.
I think the best nights were the ones when I wasn't trying to be a little bitch. He was warm and I could always fall asleep knowing that he wouldn't move until I was fully awake.
We were like magnets, me and him, except I was a magnet with a north and a South Pole while he was only a north. Some days we didn't match up and I couldn't get my hands off of him. But other days I couldn't get far enough away.
He never tried to develop a South Pole like Alfred did when I was staying with him. He didn't try to act a certain way to draw me in. He realized there wasn't hope so he let me sulk.
I don't know about anybody else, but I really liked that.
He understood what I wanted, but he also understood that he couldn't understand what I was feeling.
Understand?
Yeah.
I know.
Sounds crazy, doesn't it?
Well, anyway...
After the first month, I started to warm up to my new home. I even called Alfred a few times to let him know I was okay.
Things were looking up.
Except...I didn't want to look up too long...cuz there might be something on the ground, a root or something that I could trip on. My entire life could go spiralling out of control again, just like that.
So I tried to keep a bit of skepticism.
"Open up!" A loud pounding on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. Gil and I were curled up in his...our...bed watching some stupid assed superhero movie that didn't involve Wolverine or Deadpool or Superman or anybody remotely Canadian (rendering it unworthy).
"It's unlocked." Gilbert called out, not even caring if the person outside was here to harm me.
I heard a rattle from the doorknob and a creak from the hinges before Yao stepped into the apartment.
I sucked my head behind Gil and hoped for the best.
"Matthew, Panda had her babies."
"Yeah. So?"
"You haven't seen them yet. They're like your grandchildren."
I stuck my head out some more.
Grandchildren?
"Are they with you?"
"Yeah. Now get your fat capitalist ass out here and see the babies."
"I think your confusing me with my brother...Canada is mostly socialist..."
"Come on!"
I nodded and stood, Gilbert right at my side.
We went into the hallway, finding a box there between one very happy looking panda and Kuma.
My pet didn't seem to recognize me. I wanted to cry.
"The littlest one is named Polda and the biggest one is called Panma."
"Those are stupid names." I muttered. "What aboot the other one?"
"I didn't give him a name."
"Winnie." I said. "Like the one from the Winnipeg Zoo."
Gilbert smirked at me and I glared back.
"You can have him when he's weened."
I blinked. "Really?!"
Yao nodded.
I managed a weak smile.
"So...do jou think ve can keep Kuma for zhe weekend?" Gilbert asked.
Yao looked down at the bears and then back up at us. "Fine."
Gilbert grinned. "It'll be like having kids."
I groaned. "Don't do that."
Gilbert put his arm around me. "Okay, so, do jou vant us to drop him off or..."
"No. I'll just pick him up."
"Gute."
Yao lifted the box of bears and let panda climb onto his back. "See you later."
I nodded my goodbye.
"Mattie..." Gilbert leaned his head on my shoulder. "Let's go inside."
"Mhm." I picked Kuma up but the bear growled at me. I set him back down and took a step backward and out of Gil's arms.
"Mattie..."
I was making small choking noises.
"Hey,"
I spun around and burst back into Gil's apartment, dropping onto his bed and letting out gross sobs.
"Mattie?" Gilbert set Kuma down beside the bed and curled up next to me.
I couldn't reply. I was choking on my own tears.
"Hey, shhh." Gilbert kissed my behind my ear, rubbing my back in slow circles.
"Everything vill be okay."
"No..." I panted.
"It vill." He pulled me even closer to him and let me cry myself out.
And here I was thinking I was starting to get better....