Symphony for the Lost

Scared

Christmas was fast approaching and I had no idea what to get Gil.
He was super occupied during this time since he and his brother were making plans and he still needed to take care of Gilbird who basically went everywhere with him.
I was left with plenty of time to shop, but nothing to shop with. I wasn't exactly emotionally stable enough for a proper job right then, and my history with drugs and prostitution made it twice as hard to find a place that would take me. I had to pull a lot of strings to even get that job at Tim Hortons a while back.
Being the dumbass I was, I decided to take a few clients for the only thing I knew how.
Sure...selling yourself on the streets was technically cheating. But my little "succ for five bucks" deal would be enough to get Gil something good by Christmas. He deserved it.
I managed to earn a good fifty dollars in the first two weeks. The alleyway just outside Gil's apartment turned out to be some kinda hot spot.
And it was a good thing it was close because I'd be dead if it wasn't.
It happened on a rainy Friday when Gil was off at his own job. I shouldn't have been out in that weather, especially not in an alley with dumpsters that, when being pelted with rain, blocked out any and all sounds.
I didn't hear my attacker, but I did feel the knife slide between my ribs. I let out a gravely shout, trying to get the attention of anybody. I didn't want to die there. Not this close to Christmas. Alfred would loose it and Gil...god, I didn't even want to think about that.
I saw my attacker's feet walk away. He was wearing white vans but that was all I could see through the rain and the red bordering my vision.
"HELP!" I called out, hands clawing at my wound to stanch the blood.
"Hello?" I heard a voice, high pitched and Scratchy.
Shit.
I knew that voice.
"I'm here." It didn't matter if it was Gil who found me. I didn't care if he would be mad at me later. As long as I was okay, all that other stuff could be dealt with.
"Oh gött, Mattie!" Gilbert dropped down beside me. He pulled me into his arms and started rocking me back and forth. "Vhat happened?"
"I was stabbed." I choked out. "Get me to a hospital."
"Shit." Gilbert pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled 911. He spoke with the operator for a few minutes, or maybe hours. I couldn't tell one second from the next.
When he hung up he ripped the sleeve off his sweater and stripped me of my coat and t-shirt, tying the ripped clothing around my wounds to slow the flow of blood. He then slipped me back into my coat so I wouldn't get cold.
"I'm sorry, Gil." I croaked, grabbing onto the front of my boyfriend's shirt as tightly as I could.
"Vhat are jou even doing in zhis alley?" He asked, still clinging to me, giving me the gift of his warmth.
"I'm sorry." I repeated. "I needed money."
"If jou needed money, jou could have just asked." Gilbert started to cry. "If I lost jou over a few fucking dollars...I don't know vhat I vould do."
I reached up to touch his cheek. "It's okay. I'm okay."
"Jou better not die on me."
"I won't."
"I'm serious." Gilbert took my hand off his face and squeezed it so hard that I was sure he broke one of my fingers.
I heard the scream of a siren and everything became a blur of lights and people in white. I was pulled from Gilbert's arms, screaming his name over and over in longing. I didn't want to go to a hospital anymore. I just wanted to be in his arms. I wanted to go home (Tokyo Ghoul reference lol *bursts into tears*).
One of the paramedics put a mask over my face and I breathed in the smell of chemicals. My eyelids grew heavy and the red I was seeing darkened into a black.
Was this what death felt like?