Symphony for the Lost

Warm

Riddle time:
The tooth fairy, a rattlesnake, and my will to live are all sitting in a room together. There is a hundred dollar bill on the table. The lights flicker and suddenly the money is gone. Who took it?

Answer: the rattlesnake, because the other two things don't exist.

Gilbert's apartment wasn't anything special. It was neat; something I didn't expect. He had a little mattress on the floor and a tv in front of it. It was dark too. Even when he turned the light on, the dreary colouring on the walls and the drabness of it all just made it feel like night.
"Uhm..." I wasn't sure where to go. At least until Gilbert sat me down on his bed and went to the mini fridge in the corner.
He pulled out two beers and placed one in my hands before sitting next to me.
"So...vhat do jou vant to vatch?"
"I don't really care." I opened my beer and took a heavy sip. It bumped up the buzz I had been feeling.
"Anyzhing in particular? Horror movie? Rom-com?"
"This isn't date night."
"Ve can make it zhat..." Gilbert winked at me and I rolled my eyes.
"I don't really care what we watch."
Gilbert sighed and took a sip of his own drink.
"Sooooo..."
Fine. This was awkward. But at least I had booze.
"Can jou tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"Vhat happened to jou? Vhy are jou like zhis?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." I downed the rest of my beer and tossed the can on the floor. Gilbert sighed, reaching over to grab me another beer.
"Sure jou do."
"Nope."
"Come on. Nobody ends up on zhe street for no reason."
"Tino and Berwald...they wanted that kid and I had a criminal background...I had to..."
"Jou could have stayed vizh me or Alfred."
"I couldn't..."
"Vhy not?"
I didn't answer. I filled my mouth with beer over words.
"Matthew..."
"Just leave it."
"Ve're trying to help jou."
"Don't waste your time."
Gilbert sighed. "Let's just vatch zhat movie." He made his way to the tv and started shuffling through DVDs.
I grabbed another beer and made myself comfortable.
"Jou really shouldn't drink on an empty stomach."
"Meh." I shrugged. Gilbert sighed again.
"I vant jou to take care of jourself."
I chugged yet another beer as a sort of message to him. Take care of myself? What self? I'd been dead for a long time.
Gilbert finally got a movie playing but I didn't pay attention. I let my eyes glaze over so I could focus on the tingling feeling I was getting in my chest. Everything felt heavy and warm and...good. I wanted more. I wanted to overflow with this feeling.
I reached toward the mini fridge but Gilbert caught my arm.
"I zhink zhat's enough, Matthew." He warned. I turned my head toward him. He was so close that I could feel his breath on my face. I leaned in, tilting my head slightly, and kissed him. I just wanted that warmth, any kind of it. My body was freezing, thirsting for heat.
Gilbert moaned softly into the kiss, pushing me onto my back and running his hands through my hair.
I let my hands claw into his shirt to pull him closer. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my ears, like a premonition of the headache I would have in the morning.
Gilbert broke away to catch his breath, but his lips had soon joined onto my neck. I cried out in pleasure.
I was about to slip my hands under his shirt when Gil's pocket started beeping. The German seemed to come to his senses and pulled away from me, depriving me of his temperature.
He removed his hand from his pocket and answered it without a hint of hesitation.
"Hallo?"
I could head Alfred shouting on the other end. He sounded panicked but I couldn't pick up the words.
"Alfred, calm down. He's vizh me. Ve vent home to vatch a movie."
I rolled onto my side, closing my eyes and listening to Gilbert's voice.
"He's okay, Alfred. Go home und cuddle vizh Matthias. I'll take care of him."
I heard him hang up and shuffle around for a few seconds.
"Mattie...jou asleep?"
I didn't answer. I wanted to sleep.
"Gute naucht." He whispered, pressing his lips to the side of my head. "Schlaf gut."
That night I felt another kind of warmth. It wasn't the same as the blanket Gilbert pulled over us both, or the heat from Gilbert's body pressed tightly against my back.
This warmth was that of the tears making trails down my face.