The One Who Healed My Scars

Getting Conner's Blessing

The rest of the car ride home was silent. I was completely shocked. Of course I liked the kiss, actually I loved the kiss, but I had no idea Ashton felt that way about me. I’ve always had feelings for Ashton, but I buried them in the back of my mind. I was scared he would never feel the same way about me. We pulled up to a nice house, I’m assuming it’s Ashton’s house. He pulled into the drive way and I noticed there were no other cars parked near his house. Ashton grabbed Conner, being cautious not to wake him. I grabbed Hayden and followed closely behind Ashton.

After laying Conner into a twin sized bed and Hayden into his small playpen that Ashton smartly grabbed at my house, we made our way down stairs. Ashton and I still haven’t spoke since the kiss. We sat on the couch and stayed quiet for about five minutes. “I’m sorry.” Ashton spoke up. I was so confused. “Why would you be sorry?” I asked. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, it was in the moment.” My heart shattered into a million pieces. “So you regret kissing me?” I asked, attempting to hid the disappointment in my tone and the tears in my eyes. He stayed silent for a few moments, probably trying to think of a nice way to put me down. “I just don’t want it to ruin our friendship.” He replied. I lifted my legs up to my chest and rested my head onto my knees. I tried to hold back my tears but I was far too weak at the moment. I was silently praying in my head that Ashton wouldn’t see. “Brooklyn? Can you please look at me?” Ashton sweetly asked. “Actually, can I use your bathroom?” I don’t want him to see that I’m crying. It’s not that I don’t want him to see me cry, he’s seen me cry a lot already, but I don’t want him to see me cry because I don’t want him to know why. “Um, yeah?  Right down the hall, to the left.” I quickly got up and turned so he didn’t have time to look at my face. I sped walked to the bathroom, whipping my eyes.

As soon as I got into the bathroom I locked the door and fell to the floor crying. I looked at my wrist and stared at my scars. I ran my pointer finger up and down my scars. I contemplated cutting myself again but I knew Ashton wouldn’t like it. Well that, and I didn’t have a knife or a razor. That’s when it clicked. Ashton must have a razor in here somewhere. I was about to get up when the thought of Ashton stopped me. I knew Ashton cared about me and that’s why he wants to stay friends but if that was the case I wish he would’ve never kissed me. I smiled thinking about the kiss. When our lips met it sent a shock all through my body. I still have butterflies in my stomach and my heart hasn’t had a steady beat since then. I stopped smiling because I knew no one else would ever give me that feeling again, including Ashton. I wish he would want me like I wanted him. I did what I always do when I don’t know what to do and dialed my cousins’ number.

It rang twice before one of them answered. “Hello?” She spoke through the phone. “Shianne?” I sobbed into the phone. “What’s wrong babes?” Shianne asked concerned. Babes, is something the three of us call each other. “Is Keanna there too?” I asked, trying to keep quiet so Ashton didn’t hear. “No, she’s with Rob.” Just hearing his name made me cringe. Rob was a complete ass. He never treated my cousin right. “What’s wrong?” Shianne asked again. I quickly summed up tonight, not bothering to hold back my tears. Shianne stayed silent for a few moments. “Shianne, I think..” I stopped and thought for a minute before I continued. “Shianne, I love Ashton.” Shianne was silent for a few seconds. “Don’t you think we’re a little young to be falling in love?” Shianne said. “Yeah, but I am, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I love him Shianne.”

*Ashton’s P.O.V.*

I wandered down the hall to check on Brooklyn. I think I upset her, actually I know I upset her. The truth is, I want to be with her. I just know she would never want to be with me. I just thought I would say that so things would stop being awkward. As I came closer to the door I could hear Brooklyn talking. I didn’t want to eavesdrop but I felt the need to. I gently pressed my ear up against the door and listened. She was on the phone. More than likely with Keanna and Shianne, her cousins. “Shianne, I think..” She said, then paused. Yup it’s Shianne. “Shianne, I love Ashton.” My heart stopped. I had to have heard her wrong, because she could never love me. Right? “Yeah, but I am, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I love him Shianne.” I defiantly heard right. “I love you too.” I whispered, mainly to myself. “I have to go, Ashton’s waiting for me.” I heard Brooklyn say. I panicked a little bit and sped walked to the couch.

A few moments later I heard the bathroom door open. I instantly stood up when Brooklyn walked into the room. “Brooklyn?” I asked, seeing her eyes red and puffy. I feel like shit now, I know I’m the one that made her cry. “Yeah?” She replied walking over to me. Before I could think about it I held her face in the palm of my hand and passionately kissed her. She roped her arms around me as I deepened the kiss. The kiss soon ended from loss of air. I smiled at her beauty and pecked her one more time before drowsiness hit me.

“Are you tired?” I asked her. She nodded in reply. I intertwined our fingers and led her up into my bedroom. “Crap.” I hear Brooklyn mumble from across the bed as she rummages through her bag she packed. “What’s wrong?” I asked, walking over to her. “I forgot pajamas.” She frustratingly ran a hand through her long blonde hair. I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind and rested my chin on her shoulder. I gently kissed her neck and squeezed her tighter. “Would you like to borrow some of my clothes?” I mumbled in her neck. “Yes please.” She retorted. I chuckled slightly at her frustration at herself. I went through my dresser and handed her a plain black shirt and a pair of my boxers. She gave me a weird look. I laughed and kissed her forehead. “Sorry, but I usually don’t even wear boxers to bed.” I teased she rolled her eyes and chuckled on her way to the bathroom. When she came back I couldn’t help but stare. My shirt was to her knees and my boxers were barley passed the shirt. I liked seeing her in my clothes. Shortly after she returned we fell asleep.

It felt like I was for three hours when I heard someone whispering my name and lightly shaking me until I woke up. I opened my eyes to see Conner standing there. “What’s wrong Buddy?” I whispered, trying not to wake Brooklyn. “I’m thirsty.” He said, accept he pronounced it ‘firsty.” I climbed out of bed and picked Conner up. I carried him down to my kitchen and set him on the kitchen counter. I gave him a cup of water and spoke. “Conner I want to ask you something really important.” He stopped drinking and looked up at me. “I love you, your brother, and your sister very much. You know that right?” I asked. “Yeah.” He responded. “I wanted to know if you would be okay if I asked your sister to be my girlfriend.” I know he’s a little young to understand but I felt like this was important. “So you would be with us all the time?” He asked. I laughed. “I’m already with you all the time! But yeah, I still will be.” He leaped into my direction and I caught him. He hugged me. “It won’t bug me if you ask my sissy to be your girlfriend.” He said and rested his head on my chest. I kissed the top of his head and smiled. “Thanks pal.” I tucked him back into bed, checked on Hayden, then went back to sleep.

**Brooklyn in the picture**