The One Who Healed My Scars

New Years

“Please, stop.” I cried trying to free myself from his grip, even though it was useless. “Come on, this is happening whether you want it to or not, so stop fighting it.” He whispered into my ear. “Stop! No!” I cried out as his pressure tightened around my wrist, holding me against the bed. I felt shaking and my eyes shot open. When I opened them my eyes landed on the figure in front of me.

“Babe, shh it’s okay. Come here.” Ashton said picking me up off the floor and carrying me bridal style up the stairs. If you’re wondering why I was on the floor, it’s because we decided to make beds on the floor in the living room because everyone slept over again. I snuggled into his chest and sobbed. “Shh, baby it’s okay, we’re almost there.” He cooed, holding me tight. We reached Ashton’s room and he gently set me down on the bed. I was still confused as to what was going on. Was I dreaming before? Ashton kneeled down in front of me and held my hand, rubbing it soothingly. “It’s okay, you just had a bad dream.” Ashton said trying to relax me, I was hyperventilating. “More like relived one.” I mumbled to myself. Ashton gave me a confused look. I have these dreams all the time. Believe it or not, that’s not the worst dream. “What do you mean?” Ashton whispered. It sounded like he was almost scarred to hear the answer. Tears flooded my eyes again. “I.. He..” I stuttered trying to get it out. I plan on telling Ashton but I’ve only told one person, Thomas. I haven’t even told Keanna or Shianne and I tell them everything.

I hate Chase. He did this to me. He gives me nightmares. He gave me a child and then took it away. Anger boils inside me. I don’t want anyone else to wake up but I want to scream. I took a pillow off of Ashton’s bed and brought it up to my face. I let out a huge scream that I’ve been holding in since the day he violated me. Ashton probably thinks I’m a psycho, and maybe I am. Can you really blame me? As I was almost done with my moment I felt a big hand rest on my back and slowly rub up and down, easing all the crazed emotions I was feeling right now. I removed the pillow from my face and looked my boyfriend in the eyes. “I’m.. Sorry..” I managed to let the two words escape my lips. Ashton looked at me with a confused face again. “For what love?” I tried to get my breathing pattern back on track so that he could understand my answer. “For waking you up.” I explained the best I could. “I want to be here for you. Don’t apologize babe.” Ashton pulled me close and rested my head on his chest. He played with my hair until my sobbing slowed down to a stop. “Brooklyn?” He asked lifting my chin gently, then removed a few remaining tears on my cheeks. “Please? Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you unless you explain.” I took and deep breath and nodded my head. He was right. Just as I was about to explain, Calum walked into the room.

“Is everything okay? I thought I heard screaming.” He explained looking at Ashton, then at me. When he realized my eyes were red and swollen from crying, he ran over to me and engulfed me into a hug. Ashton freed me from his grip so that Calum could hug me properly. I hugged back gratefully. “Are you okay?” Calum asked with concern and worry written all over his face. I half smiled at his consideration. “I’m fine, just a nightmare.” I said a lot more calm than five minutes ago. “Wow. That’s got to be some nightmare.” He said as he rubbed his sleepy eyes. “Everything’s okay Calum. Go back to sleep.” Ashton assured. Calum looked at me as if asking for permission. I gave him a small smile and nodded in agreement. His figure soon disappeared down the stairs.

“So what were you going to say?” I looked over at Ashton to see his eyes locked on the wall in front of him. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. “Can we save it for another time?” I pleaded. Ashton sat down on his bed and put his face in his hands. He exhaled deeply and looked up at me with half of his face still in his hands. “Babe I need to know.” He pushed. “I know, and you will. Just not right now please?” I rebutled. His facial expression looked impatient. “Okay.” Ashton said as he exhaled. “Thank you.” I said and kissed his cheek. He hugged me and kissed me on the lips. I kissed back gratefully and smiled at him. “Let’s go back down stairs and sleep.” Ashton said, enlacing our fingers together as we walked down the stairs. I laid down and soon felt a figure right behind me. Ashton wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. He kissed the back of my head and snuggled close. “Good night.” He whispered softly into my ear as I feel asleep to his humming.