Love Is Symphony |✓

| 21 |

"And you fucking expect me to believe that?" I spat out, turning to wipe the tears off my face.

"Yes!" Your voice was pleading and your eyes held suffering, but I was relentless. "Because it's the truth."

"Truth?" I scoffed. "Truth? What on earth would you need a fake girlfriend for?"

You closed your eyes, obviously trying to calm yourself down, but the blaze of your emotions were already swirling around you, licking up the space between us with the provocative intention of hurting anyone brave enough to come near. I tried to back away as far as my feet could take me, clutching my bag tightly with my fingers.

Could you see how ridiculous this sounded? A moment passed and you still haven't said a word. Lips pressed into a grim line as thoughts traveled through your head, thoughts that may or may not break me.

"You don't understand," you finally said, words soft as if you were afraid that a higher decibel might hurt me. Oh, Sean, I was already too broken for that.

"Of course I don't. You didn't tell me anything! You just come popping in my life when I'm doing fine and disappear right out of thin air when I've finally gotten used to the idea of you in my life!" I was fuming. I could feel the heat of my anger on the apples of my cheeks and the cold tips of my fingertips that were tucked in my palms.

I didn't know what was I fighting or mad at for. Maybe it was because I liked you and you had a girlfriend. Maybe because she was prettier than I could ever be. Maybe because I was yet again, hurt. Or maybe the nagging voice inside my head that had always been there was right.

You're never gonna be the first choice.

Maybe that was it. Maybe that was the sadistic truth that I kept buried under the hundred times I pretended to be okay. To be happy on where I stood. To be contented. But the truth was, I was just another girl who wanted to be chosen. To be important enough to be chosen.

And sadly, maybe you weren't that person who would give me the thrilling happiness that comes every time a person is picked. I thought you were finally the one. I was wrong again.

You didn't say anything. You remained silent when all I wanted to hear was the truth. Your honesty. You remained rooted in your spot, sneakers-clad feet anxiously pacing in the small space without moving. "I can't tell you."

A humorless laugh escaped my lips. It sounded dry and hoarse, a perfect adjective to how I felt when you uttered those words.

"Of course," I said, smiling sarcastically. "So it would be better for everyone if you just leave me alone. This—" I motioned between the two of us with a shaking hand "—should stop. Whatever the fuck this is. Because we both know that it wouldn't do any good. And don't fucking feed me with any bullshit that we could still be friends. We both know that's not why you're here." There. I said it. The words I thought I could never tell any person who have wronged me. Who have left me. Who have shattered me until I was nothing but fragments of a person who used to be whole. Until I was nothing but desperate to seek my worth.

You haven't moved an inch. It was as if time stood still and you were stuck in that moment. As if you couldn't move a muscle. You just kept standing there, watching me intently with pursed lips as I shuffled uncomfortably, hugging myself for warmth that was brought upon your gaze that seemed to hold so many emotions that I couldn't name.

My heart was thumping when I met your eyes that always reminded me of the calm mornings by the seashore. How the blue and green overlaps at every wave, at every blow of the wind. How really wide the expanse of the ocean was every time I looked into the depth of your eyes. Now it looked anything but those. But rather the ocean in the middle of the storm. Chaotic, unforgiving... cold.

I wanted to flinch at how foreign they looked. How something I used to find comfort in were now so unfamiliar. But I braved up my fear and tilted my chin up, challenging you to respond.

"Okay," you agreed after the long pregnant pause that stretched between us—pulling us further away from each other until I could no longer see you as someone I wanted so much. Your words were flat and unemotional. It was as if you were just agreeing to something so trivial. Something so... unimportant.

A sharp pain sliced through my chest. I wanted to undo what I said. I wanted to beg you to take back your words. I wanted to hold your hand and believe whatever lie you would feed me. I wanted to, but same as you... I couldn't.

And so, I nodded my head once, pushed a lock of hair behind my ear and then—for the first time—did what everybody else seemed to be doing to me.

I left you.

–

So, there is it you guys. This had been quite an emotional and a heavy chapter and Serenity had been under such an emotional turmoil! I hope everyone's getting a gist of where she's coming from and keep in mind that despite this story being in second person's point of view, it's still Serenity speaking to Sean. So, it only makes this more intimate and personal.

Are you guys liking it so far? If you do, please don't forget to vote and drop in a comment on what are your thoughts ;)