Love Is Symphony |✓

| 22 |

I scoffed at myself for replaying the events that had transpired three weeks ago in an almost eternal loop in my head. It seemed to be the only thing I was capable of lately - to think of you, to remember that day, to hurt, to cry a little while hurting, to hurt a bit more for the rest of the day and repeat.

If only it was something productive. But alas, the pre-teen girl inside me won and decided that mulling over a guy who couldn't even decide if he was to stay in my life or not was the best thing to do. Or better yet--the only thing I could do.

It was that stupid kiss.

It was just a stupid kiss, for pete's sake. Granted, it made my toes curl, made my breath hitch, weakened my knees and made a drum out of my chest, but... it was still just a kiss.

I've kissed guys before.

You have kissed a lot of other girls.

It was anything but special. So why was I like this?

Why did it feel like my heart was slowly expanding; inhaling as much air as it could before deciding that it couldn't produce anymore space so it just shrinks. Too much that it forgot it exists.

Maybe it would've felt better if it just exploded, rather than shrinking in size. At least then, every thing else would disappear after a loud boom. Only dust would remain from the explosion. I would've chosen that any other day than dealing with a heart that's still there but has now become too small to feel.

I heaved a sigh and looked up at the sun slowly dipping down into the clouds; its warm orange glow streched across the sky, and slowly it began to form a canvass of colors. An explosion of pinks and purples and yellows. It was beautiful.

It was then that I just realized that I was in front of Good Mart, a local grocery store at the corner block of the suburban area, just a few minutes away from Disc Rotations. I stared at the white and green building for a moment, my lips pursed and hands curled at my sides when I had the sudden urge to grab a cold bottle of beer and drown my thoughts away.

The thing was... I don't drink.

I hate alcohol.

My dad became alcoholic because of a heartbreak.

I would, most probably, be heading the same direction if the urge to drink was still burning hot within me after listing out all the cons of it.

The heck with it, I thought. I needed a drink. I deserved a drink.

With fast strides and a face contorted in determination, I entered Green Mart. There was no going back.

-

When you do things you knew you would regret, you already have an idea on what the consequence could be. In my case, I expected a pretty bad case of hangover; a scolding from my dad, perhaps. Or, on a more imaginative note, maybe ending up in a dumpster somewhere deserted with a massive hangover and an inevitable scolding from my dad later on. Those were possible. What I never imagined, though, out of all possible scenarios was now standing in front of me.

Clad in a sweat drenched grey T-shirt that stuck to the front of his chest and black jeans, carrying a basket of groceries, that may or may not have an infant formula inside was Ice.

Ice with a baby in a bright pink and yellow stroller.

Ice my ex.

Ice who fell in love with his best friend--Mia.

Ice who I thought I'd never lay eyes on again.

My back froze, eyes travelling from the boy I once loved to the dark-haired baby that was sucking on the arm of a small green teddy bear.

"Serenity? Is that you? I mean--hi! How's--how are you?" Ice was obviously as surprised as I was, and the way he pulled the stroller closer to him didn't go by unnoticed.

I looked away from the baby and smiled. "Hey, I'm doing great. Just..." The words died in my throat when his dark blue eyes fell on the green basket filled with a good variety of beer slung over my arm. Shame made me hide the basket behind my back. I cleared my throat and his eyes snapped back to mine. He smiled, looking uneasy and confused and all of the other things that I didn't want him to be. I couldn't even understand why I felt embarrased to be seen with beer, especially by him when I wasn't the one with a baby.

"I'm celebrating."

He blinked. "Oh."

I awkwardly laughed. "Yeah." I pointed towards the baby who was now reaching for a bag of potato chips. "Who's the cutie over here?"

Ice smiled lovingly at the baby, reaching out to pat her head. "This one's Snow--my kid."

This time I was the one to blink. "Oh."

"Yep," he said with an effort to make a casual shrug that was more awkward than casual.

Was he married? I looked at his left hand only to see it bare of a wedding band. Maybe he forgot?

He looked down at his hand too, making me blush when I realized that he caught me. "I'm sorry," I said.

"No, it's alright." He shifted the basket over his arm and inhaled. "I'm, um, a single parent. Uh, her mom--Snow's I mean--her mom, Mia..." he paused, shaking his head a little before changing his sentence altogether. "Plans just don't always go your way, you know? Just... that's the way life goes, I guess."

So, they got together then? The girl who used to be my friend. The girl he was in love with. The memories sucked me back in the past, making me remember every thing. Not just the pain of a broken heart, but the good days too. Our first kiss, the first date, the whispered words of admiration that used to make my heart flutter.

And as I stood in front of this guy, I suddenly had the urge to hug him. Even if the years obviously took a toll on him, from the heavy bags under his eyes to the untrimmed beared that covered his face, he still looked pretty much the same. The awkward indifference he held for strangers, his dark brown hair and his bright blue eyes as cold as the artic.

My heart grew warm from the memories of us together. That type of feeling that tugs at your chest. I missed him.

"I miss you," I blurted out, surprising us both. There was a moment of silence that stretched between us, and I was a second away from bolting, but then, he smiled. It felt as if my heart began to slowly expand again.

I smiled back. Ice cleared his throat and scratched the back of his ear, the tips turning red. "Yeah. I miss you too. It's uh, it's been awhile."

"Four years sure do sound a lot of time."

He nodded, his face solemn. "Yeah. It sure does." He paused for a moment, then, "Listen, do you wanna have some coffee?"

I was suddenly reminded of Coffee Beans and laughed. "I think, I prefer tea. What do you say?"

Slowly, the cold indifference that had took home in his eyes for years melted away; no longer ice-cold. It now held familiarity, and dare I say, a hint of peace.

Ice smiled. "Sure. Tea it is."

And after four years, we left Good Mart together. The basket filled with beer, left behind.