Love Is Symphony |✓

| 34 |

It was no surprise that a frown had appeared on your face when your front door swung open to reveal me with tears all over my mine.

"Serenity?" You stood frozen at your doorstep, hand poised over the knob and mouth hung open in shock. You tried to come up with something to say, but words have left you.

There you were looking at me with with worried eyes, and there I was standing in front of you with another loose piece of my heart. I opened my mouth to say something-anything at all, but only a choked sob came out. My knees gave way and you easily caught me in your arms where I cried and I cried and I cried. It was aching so much, Sean. My heart was hurting so much it felt as if it was being stretched so far apart until the last tendon snapped.

Why was it so unfair? How come it seemed that it was my fault, that I was the bad guy. How could everyone in my life make themselves seem the victim rather than the ones who tore my chest open and ripped my heart out? How could everyone make me feel so guilty for saying the truth? How could everyone make me feel so bad about myself for hurting?

"Let's get you inside. Come on." You pulled me into your apartment, and you sat me onto your couch. Sniffling, I let my eyes fall to the carpeted floor, rubbing the sides of my sneakers against its soft fibers. It was almost funny how I was back here again after leaving for less than an hour.

You sat next to me and I didn't fail to notice that you left a safe distance between us, as if you didn't know how to approach me. I probably looked like a mess. A mess that would break apart any second.

"What happened? Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

I lifted my eyes to meet your worried, beautiful ones, only to let them fall back to the floor. "Dad," was all I managed to say. It was funny how the biggest things in life could be expressed in the smallest of words. No flowery similes, no outlandish metaphors; only the barest of volumes and the most quivering of voices to show the true pain behind the greatest stories.

Life truly was an irony.

Your shoulders tensed as if you were expecting this. Scooting closer to me, you wrapped an arm over my shoulder and tucked my hair behind my ear. Your finger felt cold and I shivered. "Is he okay? What happened? Where is he?"

Hell, if I knew.

"We had a fight," I weakly mumbled, drained-out of all energy. "I said stupid things that I meant that I wish I didn't mean." My voice broke and I let out an empty laugh. "He's probably drinking away his troubles at home and it's all my fault."

I could see you pursing your lips as your deep thoughts whisked you away to a place I couldn't reach, eyes drawn together and breaths even, you had your eyes tracing my face, but Sean, you weren't looking at me. You were seeing right through me as if I was nothing but a transparent window. I looked away when you finally really set your eyes on me. "What was the fight about?"

I hesitated, a moment of indecisiveness when I opened my mouth and nothing came out, and instantly you knew. Your brows raised upon realization, until everything slowly sunk in and your eyes shut tight. It was about you. You let out a sigh and your arm fell off my shoulder. "What did he say?"

"He said that I wasn't myself anymore."

You were hesitating to say the next words, but you finally let them out. I wish you hadn't. "Is it true?"

I really wished you didn't ask me, because I thought about it, and I realized that I wasn't sure. Who was the real Serenity anyway? Because I was sure that it wasn't the girl from a few months ago who pretended that everything was okay. I thought I found myself when I met you, but I just wasn't so sure anymore.