Love Is Symphony |✓

| 44 |

"Serenity, please, at least drink water." Jason sighed when I didn't acknowledge him. He leaned back in his seat and placed an arm over the steering wheel, his fingertips tapping against it and the sleek phone pressed against his ear. "No, she won't eat. What? I asked her to eat, I even bought her food. I don't know... she won't talk. She's been crying for hours now." He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair, something that he had been doing since he pulled me out of the bar and drove us away into the quieter part of the city. I hugged myself tighter in my seat.

"Phoebe," he said through gritted teeth, "will you please calm the hell down? You're stressing me out. Well what do you want me to—you know I can't do that! Well, have you spoken to him already or is he busy choking on Miranda's tongue?"

I tried not to flinch at his words, but the reaction came naturally along with the image that came with it. Jason cursed under his breath, noticing the first reaction I was able to make since we left, and sadly, it wasn't as positive as he hoped. "I'll call you later, babe. Just please talk to him. And by the way, can you please tell Gary to shut the fuck up? Yeah, thanks. Bye. I love you. Get home safe."

"She's lucky to have you," I whispered after a long stretch of silence, looking at Jason with my puffy and swollen eyes. I had been crying for hours now and my stomach was rumbling from hunger, but I couldn't even touch food without being reminded of you, Sean. Everything reminded me of you, even the lights of the lamp post did and it was breaking again and again and again what was left of me to break. I would've been so much happier if only you were like this man sitting next to me. "Most guys won't even bother to pick up their girlfriend's call. Sean usually drops my call when he's recording."

His worried face softened into a pitying one and the need to fold myself into the smallest I could be grew. It was funny how I didn't want pity when I was truly nothing but pitying.

"He loves you," Jason said, but my ears didn't miss the slight quiver in his voice as if he was unsure himself, "he just doesn't know how to show it. He's just..." he groaned, "you know what? There's no excuse for what he did. He's an asshole and he has to grovel and beg for your forgiveness."

I smiled. What a sight it would be, wouldn't it, Sean? You begging me to take you back when I had been the one doing all the begging, scratching my knees from kneeling on the floor all for your love. "He doesn't love me, Jason. He loves his career. He may love me in a way, but not more than he loves his dreams." My voice cracked and my throat tightened at the memory of the kiss you shared with Miranda. "And I don't think I could stand to be the second choice again. I've been second far too many times in life."

He was silent for a minute, eyes tracing my face as if the answers laid there. He finally let out an exhausted exhale. "Is there really no way for you two to get—" Insistent raps came hitting on the glass window, cutting off his next words. We both looked out with furrowed brows. "Sean?"

I expected my heart to beat against my chest, I expected it to dance to the same tune it always followed whenever you were near. Turned out, you had broken my heart far too many times already, for there was nothing left inside my chest but an empty void. I've become numb again. A motionless stone of heartache and sorrow, a lonely statue that would soon erode into nothingness. I wonder if my heart would ever learn how to beat again.

Jason gave me one long look before he hurriedly went out of the car, leaving the scent of his cologne inside as he slammed the door shut. I watched both of you with tired eyes and an empty soul. You were trying to come near the vehicle, but he held you back by your shoulders, stopping you. There was a fire in your beautiful bluish-gray eyes, a kind of fire that I haven't seen in them. You were moving around in circles, hands on your hips and eyes fleetingly falling on where you knew I was every once in a while, but you didn't make a move to come near. Maybe that was the best thing because if you did, I didn't know what I could've done.