Love Is Symphony |✓

| 31|

If I were given a chance to travel to the future-say, three years from now. I would've laughed at how this night played out.

The memes on social media that depicted expectation versus reality themes have always made me laugh; pictures that showed the distance between fantasy and real life. Tonight had been no different. Tonight my reality was nowhere near a wonderful dream.

Time hadn't stopped when I heard Cassidy's sweet voice and your breathless gasp, nor did everyone else blurred out into dark shadows. My reality was much simpler, yet it didn't hurt any less.

There was no question-she mattered to you. Though our moments together were filled with sweet promises and warm kisses, your eyes that held hers told a different story. It spoke of affection and a story that only you two seem to understand. I was an outsider; I was the one who faded–swallowed by the loud music and fairy lights that danced in the dark.

No, Sean. Time hadn't stopped. Instead, fear made my spine stiff, but time continued on, and I guess that was what hurt more-I was frozen and still, but the world continued on without me; you and Cassidy moved together in tune to a beat I could never match my steps to.

I was afraid to turn and see the same look on Cassidy's face, afraid to realize that maybe I was really delussional; that Imogen was right. I was drunk on love and in love with someone who might not love me.

Yet no matter how much I fought it, Cassidy's gravity pulled me in. When she spoke again, a lot more confident this time around, I finally turned. I wish I hadn't.

"I'm Cassidy. You must be Sean's girlfriend–Serenity?"

Golden locks that reminded me of early mornings and spring, bright blue eyes that were warm yet guarded–they were hers. She was a true beauty. The kind that demanded everyone's attention, one that brought warmth to cold nights and dark days. No wonder you had been with this girl. She was gravitating.

I took a small step back. Your hand easily found the small of my back, but neither your touch nor your presence did anything to ease the rampage that was going on inside me. I was beyond overwhelmed.

Cassidy's lips pursed, but her eyes held understanding in them. She turned to Phoebe who was half-asleep, leaning on Jason's chest. "What happened? Did she have too much orange vodka again?"

Her voice was cheerful-teasing even. But the strain was heard at every last syllable that curled tighter than the firsts.

There were a lot that I wanted to say, but the words got stuck in my throat, choking me. How could they pretend to have such a normal conversation as if I wasn't standing in front of them?

I needed to leave.

My head whipped back to your direction, seemingly called by you. I shouldn't be surprised at all though. Everything I did seem to lead me back to you. And I hated it. Fuck, how I hated it now.

Hands curled tight at my sides and eyes cold, I didn't give you the privilege of speaking a single word–I stormed off. Your hand easily caught my wrist. I tried to escape, but you held on tight.

"Serenity, let me explain." The quiver was heard through your voice, obvious despite the loud music that tried to drown us. "Please. Just... Ser

–please."

Well you knew what, Sean? Screw you.

"Take your fucking hand off of me."

"Serenity."

I ran outside. I ran as fast as my shaking legs could take me, as if a hurricane was running after me. The very same hurricane that have already brought my dreams and heart to rubbles. Now, now it was after me.

As tears continued to coat my cheeks, I laughingly realized that you might as well be that hurricane, Sean. Your determination to find a career for yourself knew no bounds. It forged on, destroying everything in its path, including the ones that were only there because they were lured in by the beautiful catastrophe that you were. The ones that have already been too broken to be loved by the stars and the moon, so they hoped that a huge hurricane like you would pause and give her the time of the day. That maybe with you, it didn't matter if the stars and the moon have forgotten her, so long as your winds touched her-even just the lightest carress. Maybe with you, she could fly away.

How wrong I was. It was stupid of me to think that a hurricane could spare a broken girl like me. It wouldn't. You wouldn't, Sean. You'd continue to plow until there was nothing left behind, and that was exactly what you did to me.

Suddenly, my tired feet came into a halt and I was pinned against a car. Trapped in your embrace with your arms as my cage. I gasped. There you were, looking at me with those bluish-gray eyes that looked black and remorseful under the light of the lamppost. Our breaths were short, chest that were pressed together, heaving. A sweat trickled down the side of my face. I tried to escape you, but you held on tight.

No.

Let me go. Let me go. I pushed and I pulled and I kicked and I screamed and I–

"I love you, Serenity."

–froze, then weakened. My heart stopped. You said it. The very words that have haunted my nights and plagued my days.

"No, you don't," I said, my voice hoarse. "You're only saying that because you don't want me to leave. You. Don't. Love. Me."

You shook your head and your hold tightened as if never wanting me to go. "I do. I love you. I'm so sorry. Please, please just let's talk about this. Please."

Sean, could you please tell me that I wasn't making a mistake? Could you please tell me that it wasn't stupid; that I wasn't driving myself headfirst into the fire. Tell me, my love, lie to me, make me believe that I wasn't a lost cause when my eyes watered again and I found myself trapped in your gaze. Tell me that it wasn't my fault this time when my resolve broke at every please that you spoke. Whisper me lies that say it was what any woman would do.

Because, love, I needed your words to tell me that I wasn't making a mistake by taking your outstretched hand, opening my doors and accepting crumbs of your love.

Lie to me. Don't tell me the truth. After all, that seemed to be the only thing you could do, and the only thing I could believe.

-

There you have it guys! Ha! Comments? Violent reactions that I'm sure you have? 

Tell me your thoughts; I'd love to read them! 

The next update would be on Tuesday so make sure to watch out for that on your notifications! <3