Insanity is the Only Path to Happiness

I Do Not Like Him!!

I was certainly a mess, sobbing on the floor for what seemed to be hours. I never knew feelings could wreck you like this, no wonder I always masked mine. This was difficult, not to mention tiring.

I felt as though I needed some relaxation time away from all this stress. It was only a week since we had moved here, after all, and I had definitely not given myself a break for doing so much and dealing with the stress so well.

I got up, quite slowly. My legs were cramped from the position I was in, my arms had nail scores in them due to me pinching myself to try and calm down, and my eyes felt puffy. I felt worthless and unwanted. But of course, the little voice in my head just had to say, "Well obviously you are wanted. Look how long Domonic waited..." I began to sob again. No matter how bad I felt, it had to be nothing compared to the pain he was going through.

I got control over myself, walked into the bathroom and cringed. My eyes were bloodshot, tears had cut themselves into my cheeks and my hair was a ratted nest. After I straightened out my appearance, I walked downstairs and came face to face with my mom.

"Hey sweetie. Did you see my..." She noticed my sniffles and halted in her tracks. "Honey? What is wrong?"

I began to slip up, tears still streaking down my face. She pulled me in and I huddled close to her, soaking in the strength she radiated. I needed that strength. As I cried into her shoulder while she stroked my hair, I had a flashback.

"Momma, momma! Look at me! I can fly!" I was on the swingset at the playground near our house. I would have been about 5 years old.

"That's wonderful sweetie! Can you do a trick? Or do you want to just swing?" I wanted to show mommy what I could do.

"I wanna do a trick! Watch mommy! I'm gonna fly!" With those fatal words, I launched myself off the swing. Problem was, I thought someone would catch me, like Daddy always did when he tossed me in the air. As the ground came closer and no one came to help me, I grew afraid and closed my eyes tight.

The next thing I knew was a hard mattress and a flat pillow. Mommy was right next to me and I turned towards her with some difficulty.

"Mommy? What's going on? Where are we?" I was scared. All of the machines looked dangerous and unfriendly, and my stomach hurt.

"Baby. You are in a hospital. You broke a rib when you fell. So now, the doctor has to take care of you. Is that ok?" My mommy looked worried. I nodded and she got happier.

"Good girl." She said, kissing my forehead.

I still remember that day like no other. My dad yelled at me when I got home, but would not let me go anywhere without him for a few days. Mom put it as, "He just wants to make sure you will not ever get hurt like that again."

Getting rid of my nostalgic thoughts, I squeezed my mom gently to let her know I was fine and that she could let me go. She stepped back, a determined look on her face.

"What happened? Is it a guy? I think you are still a little young to be having a boyfriend..." I cut her off with a sigh. Now I knew what everyone meant about my ranting. I wonder which parent I got it from.. Nah, I then realized she was waiting for me to reply.

"Huh?" Way to go. Mess up the interrogation and Mom gets suspicious. Pass the first step, and you are pretty much scot-free.

"Look, I do not have a boyfriend. I am just missing Connecticut, that is all." I tried avoiding what I knew she really wanted. I then decided to play on her weaknesses a little.

"Look. I was going to watch Scott Pilgrim VS The World. You want to watch with me?" I was internally laughing as her face twisted when she realized what I was doing, but she could not resist.