True Dreams

Chapter 8

Sleep hit me hard that night. It was exhausting fighting off the urge to cry all damn day. 

* * *

I was sitting alone in the lobby of my old therapists office. The green walls were said to symbolize growth. I hated the green but I understood their reasoning because in the middle of one of the walls a grand tree was painted in black. Trees represented growth more than anything in the world. 

Anyways, I sat in one of the green chairs waiting. For what? I don't know. 

There was a boy in my school when i attended public school. I had the biggest crush on him. He had sandy blonde hair. slightly tanned skin and crystal blue eyes. He was gorgeous!! Anyways, I was sitting there and he walked up to me holding a guitar. He looked down on me and smiled. As soon as he smile the scenery changed. I was in a busy cafe. It looked like one of those cafes you'd see in the 70's, steel colored walls with a rim of red near the ceiling. The floors were checkered tile and the tables were white surrounded by high lifted bar stools. I was sitting in a booth and he stood by the table. Everyone around stared at us and swooned. 

"AWWWW" They all said. He began singing to me and joyfully strumming his guitar. He sang about my blue/green eyes, my hair, and my body and soul. He sang so joyfully about how much he loved all of my features. I just sat there awkwardly although I know I enjoyed it. His song finished and I woke up. 

I woke up with an idiotic smile on my face and a sigh of relief. Whoever was out there heard my prayer and granted me peace. That day was actually the first good day I'd had in like 2 weeks. Sister Liza snuck into my room before shift switches and checked my wrists and thighs. 

I switched off auto pilot and actually socialized with Rachel and Jenny. I told them about my dream and teased me in girly ways.

 "OOOH you got a crush! You got a crush! hahaha" Rachel sang, her mouth full of a peanut butter sandwich. Jenny giggled along but not as much as usual. Something was wrong. I watched her throughout lunch, analyzing the way she flashed a smile, just as quick as it arrived it was gone. The bags under her eyes were more prominent and her eyes puffy from crying. I waited until after lunch to confront her. 

Rachel had to finish up some chores after lunch while me and Jenny moved on to math. We sat next to each other and sat silent while Sister Miranda droned on about trigonometry. I ripped a piece of paper out of my note book scribbled something on it and handed it to her. 

Are you okay?

She looked at it, and replied. 

No'

Why? What's wrong?

Just been having a lot of flashbacks and dreams about Aaron lately.'

I dropped the piece of paper into the back of my notebook and looked at her with sympathy. I scooted down the bench closer to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "I'm so sorry hun."

She looked down and let the tears flow. I just held her in my arms and didn't let go.