True Dreams

Chapter 19

The day went slow and it was quite draining. More often than not I was stuck day dreaming about Dan. I knew it wasn't healthy but I couldn't help it... 

I found joy in art again, although Sister Liza told me she wanted me to work on lightening up my style, I still enjoyed it.... I came to creating nice peaceful paintings but including my own meaning. I often included aspects of my dreams into the works. 

Sister Liza came into my room that night. Butterflies danced all around, violently in my stomach... I knew she would check me and no amount of make up I smeared over the cuts could even begin to cover them to the point of no notice. She asked me the usual questions;

"Did you take your pills?" Which my answer was always "No". 

"Did you cut or harm yourself in anyway?" To which my answer was always "No". 

"Did you have a dream last night?" If I answered 'yes' then I was to explain the dream and show any cuts or marks made by the dream. 

That night she finished her questions and had me strip to my underwear and bra. 

She turned over my forearms and gasped, " Oh my!" Her jaw dropped and her free hand covered her gaping mouth. "What in heavens name did you do? These needs stitches and here you are plastering them with make up?! These will surely get infected!" 

She pulled me to the girls bathroom and cleaned the make up off. I had been in here once already today with Jenny, she cleaned and bandaged them... And now again with Sister Liza. 

"Okay, now you listen here Anna Lee," Her voice was stern and her gaze tainted with anger. "I will give you ONE more chance to knock it off!! You will take your pills again and we will see how you are doing... And just to make sure you ARE taking them, each morning you will meet me in the bathroom and I will administer them to you myself. Do you understand me?" 

"Yes ma'am." I muttered quietly, my face turning red with shame and guilt. 

* * * 

Just as she said, I met Sister Liza every morning in the bathroom and she gave me my pills. She made me open up, and checked under my tongue and everything.

" It was kind of awkward opening my mouth before I even got the chance to brush my teeth, she was wafted with my horrendous morning breath." I explained to Rachel and Jenny that morning around the breakfast table. Rachel just about fell out her seat laughing so hard, and Jenny giggled a little bit. 

I felt bloated and couldn't really think straight, that morning I ate my breakfast faster than I had ever thought humanly possible, the same went with lunch and I was STILL hungry. I was gaining weight fast. 

About a week after eating like a pig, I snuck into the nurses office and stepped on the scale. I had started out at 120 pounds when Dan left. Tears welled in my eyes as I gazed at 134 on the digital screen. I ran into the girls bathroom and stared at my face. My cheeks that were once thin enough to see my cheek bones were now pudgy enough to hide them. I lifted up my shirt and looked at my belly in the mirror, it was starting to protrude over my fucking pants! UGH!