And Then We All Fell Down...[EDITING]

Chapter 11: The Start Of What Seemed Like The End

Chapter 11: The Start Of What Seemed Like The End

Once I somewhat finished cleaning up, I just sat there. I couldn't feel anything. The only thing i felt was the tightness in my chest and suddenly it was hard to breathe. I felt the tears rolling down my face as I stood up in a panic. rushing to the bathroom and looking in the mirror, my face was red and i was sweating.

"What is happening?" I asked to myself. Picking up the phone, I shakily dialed 911.

"911, whats your emergency?"

"H-help me... I-i c-cant breathe. P-please help me."

"Okay sweetie.. Just relax.. What's your address?"

"145-31 156th st.. P-please hurry.. I-im scared". When i hung up the phone, I walked downstairs and I tried my best to keep calm. But I couldn't. I was panicking and I didn't know why.

"What is happening to me?" I constantly asked myself. Next thing I knew, I began shaking. Tears streamed down my face non-stop. It wasn't until 3 minuets later that the paramedics came through the front door. All i heard were voices. My body was there, but my mind was somewhere else. By the time I relaxed I was on my way to the hospital and I was given an IV to calm me down. When I reached the hospital, I was no longer shaking and I had calmed down completely. Sitting in the hospital bed, I watched some corny reality show. My eyes were focused on the TV, but my mind wasn't. All I could think about was what happened. The Stella I saw when i looked in the mirror was like a stranger to me. The Stella that I was so used to seeing had completely disappeared. I looked different and I certainly felt different. I was... different. Still completely lost in my thoughts, I didn't even realize my dad came rushing into the room.

"Ohmygosh. Stella honey. Are you okay? What happened? How'd you get here?" Were few of the hundreds of questions he asked me.

"Dad, I'm fine... Trust me. The doctor just said I had a minor panic attack."

"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone so soon. I-i guess I have to take a couple weeks off of work." He said with a frantic look on his face.

"Dad, no.. I-im fine! Don't worry about me!" I immediately reassured him.

"N-no.. I need to be there in case something happens again.."

After what seemed like an hour, I finally came to a compromise with my father and was able to convince him to not taking off of work so much because I was fine. We managed to make a deal that he wouldn't be at work all the time, and when he was, I'd make sure to let him know I was okay and just check in. After my dad left, I took out my journal. I hadn't really written in it for a while. Flipping through the pages, I came across an entry about Carter. As I read through it, all I could think to myself was " How could I have been so stupid ?" I should have listened, I should have listened. I didn't realize I was crying until I saw droplets fall on my paper. Flipping to a fresh new page, I began writing about everything that happened in the last couple months.
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A FEW HOURS LATER

When I looked at the time, 2 Hours had passed, and I began to feel exhausted but better. Closing my journal, I grabbed one of the snacks my dad brought me, layed back, and began to watch one of my favorite movies 'Camp Rock'. For the first time in a while, I was able to relax. As I watched the movie and stuffed my face with barbecue dipsy doodles, for the first time, I wasn't thinking about anything. Honestly, I wish I could've stayed in this hospital, away from everything. But, I was going home tomorrow. Apart of me definitely did not want too, but I knew I had too and quite frankly, I had no choice. Once the movie ended, I layed in my bed gazing at the ceiling not prepared to go back into the real world.
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The next morning when I woke up, my dad was already waiting for me.

"Dad? What are you doing here? I'm not supposed to leave until three." I looked at my watch and it only read 12:30 pm.

"I know honey, but since they have cleared you to leave today, they said we could go home earlier. What do you say?'

My mind said "NO" but apparently my mouth said "yes", because my dads facial expression was bright and happy. Before I knew it, we were in the car on our way home. I have to say,it wasn't the most exciting car ride. Which was unusual because our car rides are always positive vibed. We'd spend the whole ride talking, laughing, making jokes. Not this time though. The only sound that you heard was the car against the road.

After the most awkward car ride of my life, we finally made it home. Once we stopped, my dad turned to me giving me a look.

"Do you want me to come inside with you?"

"I mean... Why wouldn't you ?"

He didn't even have to answer. The look on his face said it all.

"You have to go to work don't you ?"

"Yes.. But I don't have too. You're more important.. I'd do anything for y-"

"That's okay dad", I said cutting him off. "Don't let me be any more of a burden than I already have."

"Stel-"

"Dad! It's okay.. I'm used to it. Besides I need to be by myself anyway."

"Are you sure?"

No.

"Yes. I know you're worried.. I'll call you later okay ?" I said kissing him on the cheek before I got out the car.

Walking up to the house, I shakily reached for the door and opened it. Opening the door to see all the damage that was done. I should've cleaned it but I didn't. Instead, I walked past it and made my way to my room. I was happy I was in the one place that made me feel safe. After I placed my stuff down, I hopped in the shower.

Once I got out the shower, I put on the comfiest thing I had and layed on my bed. Grabbing my phone, I saw a bunch of notifications. I was scrolling down text messages when I came across alexis' name. Pressing the phone against my ear, I heard her voice. God I missed her so much.

Why'd she have to go ?

Why'd i have to be so stupid ?