Chase & Adrienne

9

CHASE

WEDNESDAY NIGHT

"Ravens on three! One, two, three!"

"RAVENS!"

As the team heads to the locker room after another grueling practice, I linger in the gym for a bit. I grab a basketball off of the rack and pick an empty basket. I start with short shots and work my way out. After a couple minutes, I'm draining three pointer after three pointer. My mind goes blank, something I'm grateful for. There's nothing to sort out about putting a ball through a hoop. You make or you miss. It's that simple.

Life, of course, is nothing like that. It's full of gray areas, and the suddenly gray area between Adrienne and me begins to chip away at my sanity.

I tell myself over and over again that the only reason it bugs me so much is just the fact that I hate Luke so much. Adrienne is so far on the other side of the spectrum that it just won't add up in my mind. How the hell does it add up in hers?

Pretty soon, the only other person in the gym is Coach Isaiah. He makes his way over to me, but I don't really acknowledge him. It's just me and the ball.

"You're shooting like you're pissed," Coach states, pulling the basketball out of the net and tossing it back to me.

"I guess you could say that," I respond.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No, sir," I say.

"Alright."

Coach Isaiah rebounds for me silently, and the only sound in the gym is dribble, shoot, swish, pass, catch. I just keep shooting and shooting, and the longer I stay, the more muddled my mind becomes. What is Adrienne doing? She knows how stupid Luke and his group is. Maybe I'm hypersensitive just because of how well I know Adrienne, but I can see her changing before my eyes.

My mind continues to race at a mile a minute, and Adrienne occupies every one of my thoughts. I start thinking selfish thoughts, like why she would need anyone else in her life. Am I not enough?

"Chase."

I look up at Coach. I nearly forget he's in the gym with me.

"Sir?"

"I hate to disrupt your flow, but it's 8:00. I gotta close up the gym."

The time catches me off guard. I begin apologizing profusely.

"Coach, I'm sorry. I didn't realize how long we were here. You should've kicked me out right after six when everyone else left."

"That's okay, Chase. I'm happy to stay late so you can practice. Champions are made outside of practice. Now go home and get some sleep."

"Thank you, sir."

I pass the ball to him and start jogging toward the locker room door.

"Chase."

I turn.

"If it's about a girl, my advice is to be very, very careful."

"Yes, sir."

*****

When I get home, the doubt in my mind has only increased tenfold. I sit through dinner like a zombie while my mom grills me on why I got home so late. Dad commends me staying after practice so long to work on my game while Mom lectures me on keeping her updated so she doesn't worry. I nod mechanically to both of them. As soon as the conversation shifts to my younger brother and sister, I clear my plate and head to my room. Both of my parents protest, but I don't turn back.

As I sit on the edge of my bed, I try and remember a time when Adrienne and I had an "emotional" conversation, and my mind draws a blank. I rake through my memories, trying to find something that will prove to me that I am capable of some level of emotion. Why can't I deal with something as simple as Adrienne possibly liking someone? Renee and Carmen have both had a handful of boyfriends, and I didn't lose a wink of sleep. Why is Adrienne different?

Am I losing it?

I pick up my phone and call Adrienne. She answers on the last ring, so late that it startles me to hear her real voice instead of her middle-school voice that greets you in her voicemail.

"Hey, man," she says.

"Hey, Adrienne. How's it going?"

"Good, I just got home. You?"

"Me too. I stayed after practice to shoot in the gym for a bit."

"Didn't your practice end at 6 today?"

"How'd you know?"

"Luke texted me right after."

"Gotcha," I say, quickly changing the subject. "Why'd you get home so late?"

"I went dress-shopping with Carmen and Renee."

"You went dress-shopping? Did I hear you right?"

Adrienne laughed, and I could just imagine her rolling her eyes. 

"You do realize that I'm a girl right, Chase?"

"Oh, this is awkward. I was convinced that the boobs were fake."

"If I was there, I would hit you right now."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

There is a moment of comfortable silence, and I relish in it. The banter comes back just as naturally as it always does. I was freaking out over nothing. I let out a deep breath. 

"So how was this so-called dress-shopping? Everything you dreamed it would be?"

Adrienne snorts, and it takes everything I have not to call her out on it. 

"I mean, Renee and Carmen were kind of pissed at me for the first 20 minutes because I didn't sit with you guys at lunch today."

"Well, can you blame them?" I say it without really thinking about it, and Adrienne gets defensive.

"Why is this a big deal, Chase? I was just trying to be nice."

"Is that why you're doing this? Do you feel bad for the guy or something? That's totally understandable, Adrienne. Commendable, even."

"You think I'm hanging out with Luke out of pity? Do you even know me, Chase?"

"Did you really just ask me that?"

"Well, you've been acting different."

"I've been acting different? You're the one ditching your friends for a guy like Luke. Do you realize the things he says about Renee or Carmen? The things he says about you?"

"Luke would never say anything bad about me."

"Keep telling yourself that, Adrienne."

"You're unbelievable."

And then she does the unthinkable. Adrienne hangs up.