Chase & Adrienne

38

ADRIENNE

SUNDAY AFTERNOON

When I woke up this morning, I didn't feel as happy as I thought I'd feel. Now, hours later, the gnawing pain still hasn't gone away. It's true that last night with Chase was magical, but I just can't seem to shake what happened with Luke. Every second that I'm away from Chase, Luke's betrayal floods every crevice of my mind. He cheated on me. Luke Gates really cheated on me. I was no different than anyone else, even though I was sure that I was. Now, I'm just another girl on his filthy list. How could Chase want me after something like that?

Doubts worse than this creep into my mind. How could Chase forgive me so fast, after everything that happened? I hurt him so badly. What if he didn't really forgive me? It will always hang over us that at one point, I truly did chose Luke over him. Is it possible to come back from something like that? When the excitement of our new love fades, will there be anything left to salvage from the mess I made?

The truth is, there's nothing special about me. That's why Luke chose someone like Natasha over me. That's the girl he was with last night. He didn't even replace me with someone substantial. Luke realized that I was nothing special, and the second Chase realizes this, he's going to drop me too. 

This is why I just can't bring myself to feel excited when Chase calls me around 12:15. The butterflies are still there, but they are scared away by the ghosts in my mind. I answer anyway.

"Hello?"

"Adrienne!" He sounds so excited, and at this, I can't help but smile a little. I imagine him practically jumping around his house as he talks to me. "You'll never guess what just happened."

"What?" I ask, trying to swallow my suffocating pain. 

"Okay, I realized that we've kind of missed out on a lot of each other's lives as of late. If I tell you what actually happened, it's not gonna make any sense. Basically, for lack of a better term, I've tied up all my loose ends--no, no, that sounds horrible. Let me try again. I just mean that everything's kind of taken care of and all worked out, so you and me can be together. Really be together."

"It's not all taken care of," I sigh, sitting on the edge of my bed. I can feel tears pricking at my eyes. Chase pauses. 

"What do you mean? Why not?"

"Luke cheated on me, Chase," I say. This is the first time I've said it out loud, and it makes it feel that much more real. I have to take a few deep breaths before I can continue. "It's not all taken care of."

"If I kick his ass, will that take care of it?"

I can't even laugh because it hurts so much. 

"No, please don't," I plead. "I need to know. I need to know why he did it."

"No way, Adrienne," Chase tells me. "Don't talk to that clown ever again. He doesn't deserve anymore of you. No words, no time, no nothing."

"I need to know, Chase," I repeat, my voice on the edge of breaking. "That's the only way I can get over this."

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asks, concerned. And this is exactly what I love about Chase. I know he thinks this is a bad idea, but he supports me to the end. My heart aches to be with him, and I'm so afraid that I won't be able to. 

"No, it's okay. Thank you though."

"Of course. Tell me if you need me. Please be careful."

"I will be. If he tries anything, I'll call you."