Chase & Adrienne

42

ADRIENNE

MONDAY AFTERNOON

This is the first time in a long time that I don't stand in the lunch line with Luke, and for the first few minutes, I have to stand alone. That is, until Chase swoops in and rescues me. He grabs my waist from behind, making me jump. He's laughing, in a playful mood as always. 

"Why, hello there," I greet him. 

"Are you coming to the game tonight?"

"Of course I am!" I assure him. "Have I ever missed a game?"

"Well, no," he admits. I raise an eyebrow. 

"Are you doubting me or something?"

"I've just never had a girlfriend in the stands before." Chase lowers his voice and pulls me closer to him. 

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

He smiles and gently nudges me forward as the line moves up. We retrieve our trays and make our way through the huge room. He intertwines his fingers with mine, holding his tray with his outside hand. I do the same. Together, we cross the sea of teenagers, hand-in-hand. This is our first public display of affection at school. At first, I'm a little embarrassed. People are bound to notice. I hear several detached whispers about us from nearby tables. I'm about to let go of Chase's hand when he turns to smile back at me, holding his head a little higher as he turns back around. He's not afraid of what everyone says. He walks like he wants them to talk. I clasp our hands tighter. 

My legs find their way to the usual lunch table automatically, as if I was never gone. Danny and Andre are there, sitting in their designated chairs, pouring over yet another YouTube video. Renee's busy painting her nails, trying to fan the fumes away from everyone's lunches. Carmen chats with Jeremy, our newest addition to the table. Jeremy greets Chase as we approach the table with a high five and a fist bump, and he says hi to me too. Carmen smiles at both of us. I am so grateful that there aren't any hard feelings with Carmen. I hope that she's happy with Jeremy. He's a sweet guy, someone who just might be able to handle Carmen's crazy. 

As Chase and I sit down, I take inventory. The gang's all here, bigger and better than before. It seems like everything is back to normal, but a better, glossier version of normal. Naturally, Chase and I swap food. It's sandwich day. I toss all of my mayo packets next to his tray as he plucks the cheese out from under his bun and deposits it underneath mine. We trade chip bags. Once we're able to dig in, Andre, Chase, and Jeremy discuss their game plan for tonight, like which plays could be most effective against Taylor High School. Renee, Carmen, and I list the cheers we're going to deploy in the student section. Danny looks up face paint ideas featuring our school colors on Google. 

Here, at my lunch table, I feel like I'm home. Still, I steal a glance over at Luke's table. He's not there. For a moment, I worry that he's not eating. I shouldn't care, but it's game day. I scan the cafeteria. Luke is nowhere to be seen. 

A few minutes later, I spot him entering the cafeteria, his lunch tray in tow. He looks at his table for a moment before heading in a different direction. For the first time, Luke has nowhere to sit. I wish that I could invite him to sit with us, but I don't know if I can. Even if I'm not angry with him for what he did, it still hurt. It was still humiliating and traumatizing. I'm not sure there's any chance of Luke and I being friends after this. As Luke nears the table, I decide that I'll be ready to ask him to sit with us once the pain isn't so fresh. I feel more and more guilty the closer he gets, but i justify it as much as I can. 

When Luke is less than five feet away, Chase speaks up, "Luke, you need a seat?"

Our entire table falls silent. My jaw drops a miraculous distance. Renee lets out an awkward squeak. The person who is most surprised, though, is Luke himself. He has to blink a couple times to recover.

"Nah, uh, I'm gonna go sit with Connor," Luke explains, gesturing with his tray to a group of several JV basketball players. Chase nods understandably, immediately returning his attention back to his cheese-less sandwich. Once Luke is out of earshot, I elbow Chase in the ribs. 

"What just happened?!" I demand.

"What did we miss, dude?" Danny asks, totally oblivious. Chase just shrugs. 

"Luke and I had a captains meeting this morning, and we're putting all the crap behind us for the good of the team."

"The good of the team?" Jeremy snorts. Carmen looks at him, horrified at the noise that just came out of him. The rest of the table begins to speculate on conspiracy theories involving Luke being injected with some kind of "alien kindness juice." Chase turns to me, speaking quietly. 

"Look, Adrienne," he whispers, "Luke and I had a really honest conversation this morning. What he did was terrible, and it always will be, but it doesn't have to automatically make him a terrible guy. An idiot, yes, but not necessarily a bad person."

I am relieved that Chase feels it too. He feels what I felt when I was at Luke's house last night. There was a part of me that could see the good inside of Luke. I hadn't made it up. It's there. It's really there. I saw it all along, and now, Chase is beginning to see it too. I think back to what Luke told me about starting counseling and getting clean. I pray that Luke can see the goodness inside himself someday too.