Chase & Adrienne

19

CHASE

SATURDAY NIGHT

Once I'm out of the gym and in the much dimmer hallway, I turn to Luke angrily, ready to finish what I started, but Carmen comes running up to me. I take a deep breath and look at her. Luke pushes past me into the locker room, slamming the door behind me. 

"What?" I demand, annoyance in my voice. 

"What the hell was that?"

"Look, Carmen," I explain tired, suddenly exhausted. "I know you're trying to help and all, but I just got kicked out of my Homecoming basketball game, got in a fight with my old best friend's boyfriend, and I am most likely going to get suspended on Monday, so I am really not in the mood for a lecture right now, okay?"

And with that, I turn my back to her and stalk into the locker room. Luke says something idiotic--no surprise there--as I walk past him. I block it from my ears. I shoot a glance at him, and a surge of happiness shoots through me at the sight of the blood dribbling down from his nose. His eye is beginning to swell a little, and his face is tomato red. 

I take off my shoes and slide my Vans on my feet. I take off my jersey, toss it in my bag, and pull my shooting shirt on instead. The thin fabric is soothing to my burning skin. I splash some cold water on my face and look at my reflection. My hair is sweaty, my eyes tired 

I watch the rest of the game from the entrance of the gym, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. Luke left entirely. I spot Adrienne in the crowd instantly. It's habit by now. I could find her anywhere. She tries to catch my eye a few times, but I won't return her stare. It's not that I don't want to. It would just hurt too much. 

The moment the buzzer blares through the gym, signaling our loss, I make a beeline for my car so no one can catch up with me and try to ask stupid questions. 

By the time I get home, I have 4 missed calls from Adrienne. I don't feel like hearing her voice, her sweet, smooth voice, so I text her instead. I can't be silent forever, but I know that part of it is some kind of twisted, self-destructiveness that allows me to talk to her after what went down tonight. 

You called? 

Are you okay?

Yeah, he can't fight to save his life. 

That's not what I meant. 

I know. 

I'm sorry, Chase.

The whole conversation gets so pitiful that I just don't respond. Instead, I toss my phone across the room, lock my door, blast the radio on full volume, and cover my face in my pillow. I wonder how terrible it is to die by pillow. I stay like this for a long time, hours, I assume. It must not have been that long, though, because there is a soft knock at my door. I turn off the radio and try to compose myself in an attempt not to worry my parents, so I'm surprised when I swing my door open, and Carmen is standing on the other side. Her face is uncharacteristically somber. 

"Your mom let me in," she explains, taking a tentative step into my room. It's not like she hasn't been here before, just not without the rest of the group. This shocks my system with a feeling of awkwardness. I step aside to let her in. 

"What are you doing here?" I manage, silently grateful that my room isn't a complete disaster. Still, as discreetly as I can, I kick a stray sock into my closet. Carmen sits on the edge of my bed, her feet dangling off the edge, looking up at me with big, apologetic eyes.