Chase & Adrienne

31

CHASE

SATURDAY NIGHT

Tonight, I am throwing the mother of all pity parties. XBOX gets boring fast. You can only shoot so many zombies for so long before you realize that there are real battles going on elsewhere, like inside your own head. That's where I'm at right now. About five minutes after everyone left for the dance, I realized that I could never care about Carmen the way I care about Adrienne. That's just never going to change, and anything less isn't fair to Carmen. 

After shutting off my XBOX, I lay on the couch in silence, scrolling through pictures of Adrienne on my phone. In total, I have over 200 pictures of her. I want to text her, to check up on her, but I know she won't respond. It's no use. 

As I'm laying on the couch in my sweatpants, I get an idea. A painful, painful idea. It is borne from the same masochistic section of my brain that forces me to watch Adrienne interact with Luke every day. Still, once this idea is in my head, I can't get it out, even though I know how painful it will be. 

I roll off of the couch, temporarily dizzy from getting up too fast, and climb the stairs up to my room. I open my closet and retrieve a plastic bag from inside. Minutes later, I'm standing in front of the full-length mirror in my parents' bedroom, wearing a brand-new black suit. 

I ordered this bad boy online the night I decided to ask Adrienne to the dance. In past years, I've never once rented something like this. This year just felt different somehow. Now I know why. Maybe it was my sub-conscience's way of telling me to invest more into Adrienne. Or maybe it was just a late-night mistake. I'm gonna go with the latter. 

I imagine dancing with Adrienne in this suit. I don't even know what her dress looks like. All these years, I've taken being with her, talking to her, and dancing with her for granted. Now, when it matters the most, we couldn't be farther apart. 

I go back out into the living room and slump down onto the couch. As I do, the suit ruffles up in all the wrong places. I don't budge. 

I have no plans on getting back up ever again.