confined ;; phan

chapt. twelve

PLAYLIST
sandcastles by beyonce
dear mr president by p!nk
million reasons by lady gaga

the sun.

warning; some content may be triggering

phil walks back into that same common room a month later. the officers had tried to convince him to transfer to a calmer, more stable pod, for his own safety, but phil couldn't leave dan thinking he was dead or something.

the room is quiet when he walks back in, faded bruises and cuts peppering his uncovered skin. the inmates barely look up, almost fearful and timid. phil ignores them and scans for dan almost immediately. his heart thunders in his fragile rib cage when he's nowhere to be found.

he could piece it together easily, but he doesn't dare. 

"hey!" phil yells suddenly. "where's dan?"

nothing.

"are you listening? where the fuck is he?" phil demands, anxiety flushing his chest and plaguing his movements.

"phil." the voice is gentle and soft, but it doesn't belong to dan.

"elon? where's dan?"

"come with me, please," elon beckons him with one hand into a cell, and without really thinking, he obliges, looking over his shoulder briefly before disappearing behind the curtain door.

"did you do something to dan?" phil's words are panicked and breathless because his mind is screaming but he's ignoring it.

"prison is a lot like a school yard," elon says instead, sitting down on a bed. phil remains standing. "but i am not a bully. you took something that was mine, phil-"

"dan isn't your property-"

"listen." his voice shakes. "dan tried to save you, phil. he pressed that button because he really believed i would kill you.
"i have only ever killed one person and i will never forgive myself, phil. i killed the one person that truly loved me and i can never, ever take that back. i knew for a fact that dan understood what that felt like and i've never had that connection before. you didn't understand what that felt like and yet, you just came in and you swept him away. there was no need for anything in common because he loved you. he loved you phil and not me and it hurt.
"it still hurts, especially now."

phil shakes his head. "i-i, no, elon."

elon starts to cry. "i couldn't stop them, phil. when i came back from segregation, he was already gone. there was just blood everywhere-"

"stop it!" phil screams, begging. "it's not funny!"

"i'm so sorry," elon sobs, hiding his head in his knees.

"you're a fucking liar," phil cries. "stop lying!"

both elon nor phil can believe it when elon jumps up, clutching phil's head to his chest. phil screams his sobs, thrashing in elons grip until he relaxes. his tears are incessant and never cease, not even for a moment.

+

phil lays on his bunk, tears dry on his cheeks. he hasn't stopped crying for almost three hours and he can't believe it. his body aches in a way that he can never recover from.

with a broken voice and throat on fire, phil whispers, "what do i do, dan?"

a/n
god damn that was shit

katana, if you're reading, i apologise for this utter pile of horse faeces.