New Beginnings

A "Giraffe" in the Room

Liara waited while I took a much-needed shower, kept an eye on my hamster while at it... and apparently did all the dishes too, and organized our fridge. I wrapped a towel on my head, jumped inside a comfy pair of sweat pants we bought the other day, and the coziest hoodie in the planet.

I couldn't remember ever feeling as relaxed as I was feeling, in general, those days- no fighting, no reapers, no council... A memory came to me: my mother, teaching me how to put a gun together in less than a minute; I was a little girl of five, at the time. My whole life I'd been surrounded by war, in one way or another; who was I without it? I looked at Liara, she was gazing through the window, with a hand flat on its surface. My hamster was busy running in his wheel, he always liked the thing over running around after a while outside his cage; maybe he felt safe there, like I did inside my cabin in the Normandy- I would've killed to fall asleep to the soft humming of the ship again, at least once more. Hell, I even missed the hideous noise the toilet made whenever I flushed it. I stood next to Liara.

"I think we need to address the giraffe in the room" Liara gave me that look she gave me before, torn, sad, troubled.

"I think you mean elephant" I teased

"Pardon? Oh, right, I always mix earth's animal's up... and your sayings" she sighed, smiling- it was a sad smile. I had a bad feeling about this, did I really want to hear about it? About what exactly? I trusted Garrus, so I pushed a bad thought that formed in my head before it could be born.

"Do you want to sit? You look like you want to sit, come here" I led her to the couch. She took an empty decorative vase from the coffee table, and cradled it between her hands.

"I feel like I shouldn't be meddling, you're my friend, Tali too... but she's... Ugh!" she grunted. "You know, I'm not the broker anymore, at least not in the way I used to be, and not knowing things first hand, from reliable sources, is killing me" she closed her eyes, and took a couple of deep breaths "I still know how to put two and two together, with the little information I have these days- but it's not the same, everything is so..."

"Liara, cut to the chase already" I sighed, half smiling. She put the vase aside, and held my hands.

"I think Tali has a thing for Garrus; I noticed she's having trouble dealing with her feelings for him, and your return to the waking world, so to speak" she blurted. I had a feeling it was something like that, my brain wasn't mush after all- not completely. "I think part of her resents your presence, if it makes any sense- she was there for you every day Shepard, she spent almost as much time as Garrus in that room waiting for you to wake up"

"And there I was, thinking my life was going to be nothing but easy from now on" my laugh was filled with sarcasm. "Has she... does Garrus...?"

"He's completely oblivious, he doesn't reciprocate her, not in that way- the three of us bonded after the... while looking after you, but I didn't spend as much time there- besides, Garrus understood her struggle to find dextro food on earth during the first months, things like that; I was a bit of an outsider" she sighed heavily, letting go of my hands "I think Tali found herself relying on Garrus, in a way she couldn't rely on anyone else. I can see how she could've developed feelings for him, you know Garrus: always there when you need him, taking care of people...- I should've been there for her, we could've avoided the situation- she'd be happy, you'd be happy, we could all be friends"

"Don't blame yourself, there's no way you could've known" I stood up, to fill a glass with water for Liara; she was shaking, like she was about to cry. She took the water I gave her, and took a sip. "Besides, we're all still friends- Tali needs time, we'll be fine"

"Why am I more shaken up than you?" she looked at me with curious eyes.

"I died once, nearly died another time- they say the only thing in life that can't be fixed is death, and well..." I shrugged, smiling

"Everything can be fixed, you're right Shepard" she looked relieved. "Just don't tell Tali I told you about this, she'll feel worse than she already feels"

"I won't say a thing, don't worry- but we need to do something about it"

"And we won't tell Garrus, he doesn't know how to keep a secret" she was all seriousness, I laughed "He'll get awkward, and tip her off! we don't want to embarrass her"

"I agree- it's better like that" I didn't like keeping secrets from Garrus, but I guessed he didn't need to know, at least not yet.